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@Dadsaysjokes "What kind of car does a Jedi drive A Toy-Yoda"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-12T21:33Z 645.3K followers, 33.6K engagements

"I went for a job interview at UPS. I said "Sorry I'm late I went to the wrong address" - and they made me regional manager"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-12T21:41Z 645.3K followers, 41K engagements

"I asked my mom if she can pick me up because I don't like this sleepover and she said "No you're XX and that's your wife and kids"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-16T20:19Z 645.3K followers, 27.9K engagements

"A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-16T21:43Z 645.3K followers, 30.1K engagements

"Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to Merm frner mernferr brnerfer'"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-18T10:03Z 645.3K followers, 26.9K engagements

"Did you know that if you sneeze and fart at the same time. Your body takes a screenshot"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-18T14:31Z 645.3K followers, 30.6K engagements

"If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-19T11:13Z 645.3K followers, 30.4K engagements

"You know you're a bad driver when Siri says: "In XXX feet stop and let me out.""
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-19T21:15Z 645.3K followers, 32.4K engagements

"7-year-old: You got a letter Me: It's a bill. I owe money. 7yo: Not if you throw it away. She's my financial planner now"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-21T13:59Z 645.3K followers, 22K engagements

"You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game That's not allowed in bowling. I know that now"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-25T21:12Z 645.3K followers, 33.2K engagements

"Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for not having any accidents"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-25T21:14Z 645.2K followers, 42.1K engagements

"I needed something therapeutic to do so I took up gardening. After X months XX trips to Home Depot XX blisters and throwing my back out today I was able to eat my $XXXXXX salad"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-20T19:46Z 645.3K followers, 30.8K engagements

"If you want to be remembered after you die borrow money from everyone you know"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-23T20:34Z 645.2K followers, 25.8K engagements

"A hacker got into my bank account and left me a note: "Please save more money this was a complete waste of my time""
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-28T23:59Z 645.2K followers, 25.1K engagements

"Deep thought of today: When you clean out a vacuum cleaner. You become a vacuum cleaner"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-14T16:29Z 645.3K followers, 39.1K engagements

"I'm confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-22T20:46Z 645.2K followers, 24.4K engagements

"Math is hard 15+15 is thirty. But 16+16 is thirty too"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-11T22:17Z 645.3K followers, 46.2K engagements

"I'm washing my car & my neighbor asked You washing your car I reply " No I'm watering it to see if it will grow into a bus"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-18T20:13Z 645.3K followers, 31.2K engagements

"Today I realized that I'm never going to have to worry about me and my wife arguing over who's right and who's wrong. Because I was lucky enough to find a wife who's never wrong"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-19T19:09Z 645.3K followers, 32.2K engagements

"Us at the airport at X a.m. after a $XX meal $XX coffee and $XXX Uber - all because we booked a X a.m. flight six months ago to save $50"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-27T21:49Z 645.2K followers, 42.8K engagements

"Deep thought of today: When you clean out a vacuum cleaner. You become a vacuum cleaner"
X Link @Dadsaysjokes 2025-10-30T13:41Z 645.2K followers, 15.6K engagements