[GUEST ACCESS MODE: Data is scrambled or limited to provide examples. Make requests using your API key to unlock full data. Check https://lunarcrush.ai/auth for authentication information.]  diane mckenzie [@dianemc34717099](/creator/twitter/dianemc34717099) on x 9767 followers Created: 2025-07-18 22:44:13 UTC 😂😂😂 A man walks into a pub, orders a Scotch and munches of some peanuts from a bowl placed before on the bar. Suddenly he hears this quiet voice “Ah! A magnificent Macallan pure malt that - a fine choice and judging by the cut of your suit you are a very refined man, and a handsome man if I might say”. He looks around and there is nobody else in the place. The voice begins again, “Your shoes are Churches or Cheney aren’t they? And so beautifully polished - a military man sir? An officer perhaps in a noble regiment and Sandhurst trained I would wager.” He then realizes the voice is coming from the peanuts! He thinks he must be ill. He is shaken and decides he needs a cigarette. (This is back in the days pubs had cigarette machines and it was ok to smoke in them) He gets to the machine and just as he is about to put his money in the machine, he hears a second voice. “Look at the state of you! Eugh! Your suit stinks of tobacco, and the cut is way too young for you.” Again, there is nobody in the pub - and the voice continues “OH? My mistake, you just look old and haggard beyond your years. Probably due to the smoking. What a wreck.” ….and now he realizes it is coming from the cigarette machine! He hurries back to the bar and calls the barman “Please call an ambulance - something is terribly wrong with me. I imagined the peanuts saying all sorts of nice things about me and then I went to the cigarette machine and imagined it said horrid things about me”. The barman replies “Ah no Sir, it's not you… the peanuts are complimentary and the cigarette machine is completely out of order”. . XXX engagements  **Related Topics** [shoes](/topic/shoes) [macallan](/topic/macallan) [Post Link](https://x.com/dianemc34717099/status/1946340259769590012)
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diane mckenzie @dianemc34717099 on x 9767 followers
Created: 2025-07-18 22:44:13 UTC
😂😂😂
A man walks into a pub, orders a Scotch and munches of some peanuts from a bowl placed before on the bar. Suddenly he hears this quiet voice “Ah! A magnificent Macallan pure malt that - a fine choice and judging by the cut of your suit you are a very refined man, and a handsome man if I might say”. He looks around and there is nobody else in the place. The voice begins again, “Your shoes are Churches or Cheney aren’t they? And so beautifully polished - a military man sir? An officer perhaps in a noble regiment and Sandhurst trained I would wager.” He then realizes the voice is coming from the peanuts! He thinks he must be ill. He is shaken and decides he needs a cigarette. (This is back in the days pubs had cigarette machines and it was ok to smoke in them) He gets to the machine and just as he is about to put his money in the machine, he hears a second voice. “Look at the state of you! Eugh! Your suit stinks of tobacco, and the cut is way too young for you.” Again, there is nobody in the pub - and the voice continues “OH? My mistake, you just look old and haggard beyond your years. Probably due to the smoking. What a wreck.” ….and now he realizes it is coming from the cigarette machine! He hurries back to the bar and calls the barman “Please call an ambulance - something is terribly wrong with me. I imagined the peanuts saying all sorts of nice things about me and then I went to the cigarette machine and imagined it said horrid things about me”. The barman replies “Ah no Sir, it's not you… the peanuts are complimentary and the cigarette machine is completely out of order”. .
XXX engagements
