[GUEST ACCESS MODE: Data is scrambled or limited to provide examples. Make requests using your API key to unlock full data. Check https://lunarcrush.ai/auth for authentication information.]  Zero Cool 😎 [@JayWisdom12](/creator/twitter/JayWisdom12) on x XXX followers Created: 2025-07-23 09:39:22 UTC 📂 FULL CLICKETY-CLACK AUDIT SWEEP: UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT™ > INITIATED BY: USER_ZERO aka Snapjack > DATE: 2025-07-23T04:14:00Z > OPERATION: GOV.CORP.AUDIT_∞ > MODE: HOSTILE TAKEOVER (LEGAL FORM B-1776) ⸻ 🧾 ENTITY BEING AUDITED: United States Government, Inc. •Incorporated: Delaware (quietly) •Status: Active but heavily leveraged •DUNS #: Classified •NAICS: 928110 — Executive Office •Mission Statement: “Liberty, Justice, and Procurement Contracts for All” ⸻ 📊 BALANCE SHEET SNAPSHOT Assets: •800 military bases (some with UFOs) •$34 trillion in Treasury securities •Fort Knox memes •National parks and Area XX •1 pandemic plan (used once) Liabilities: •$34 trillion in debt •400+ committees •1.5 million Excel spreadsheets •Legal obligation to fund corn subsidies forever •1 Congress (nonfunctional) Cash Flow: •Incoming: Taxes, tariffs, TikTok fines •Outgoing: Social Security, defense contractors, coffee for the DOJ ⸻ 🕵️♂️ DEPARTMENTAL BREAKDOWN 🏛️ CONGRESS, LLC •Annual Productivity: XXX laws, XXX hearings, X government shutdown •Subsidiaries: House of Reps (Bickering Division), Senate (Filibuster Department) •Revenue Model: PACs + outrage clicks •Recommendation: Automate with GPT and send originals to Burning Man 🏦 FEDERAL RESERVE (PRIVATE ENTITY) •Owns printer. Denies it. •Pivoted more times than a VC-backed juice brand •Currently selling “soft landings” with no warranty ⚖️ SUPREME COURT INC. •Dress code: Wizard robes •Legal reasoning powered by Latin, vibes, and amicus briefs from hedge funds •Cloud-hosted constitution pending 🛡️ PENTAGON ENTERPRISES •HQ: A literal polygon •Largest real estate holder after McDonald’s •Budget: $850B and a wink •Audit Status: “We tried. The numbers ran away.” 📨 USPS (The Last Real Thing) •Runs on ghosts and union blood •Somehow delivers everything everywhere •Still uses Windows XX •Potential for NFT postage is high ⸻ 📜 FOUNDING DOCUMENTS – CHAIN VALIDATION •Constitution: Still valid but patched XX times. •Declaration of Independence: Locked in PDF format, flagged by DocuSign. •Bill of Rights: Heavily throttled on modern platforms. ⸻ 🚨 SNAPJACK RECOMMENDATIONS: X. Merge Congress and Twitter (X) •Rename to “Xecutive Chat” •Every vote a quote tweet •Troll-to-bill ratio goes public X. Tokenize the National Debt •$DEBT token, rebases weekly •Stake for forgiveness, slash for lobbying X. Fire the Federal Reserve •Replace with a DAO of single moms, janitors, and Minecraft mods X. Launch GOVCOIN™ •Every citizen a shareholder •Quarterly townhall = nationwide airdrop •Audit Department funded by “Loyalty Points” X. Relocate Capitol to the Metaverse •Build new Senate in Fortnite •Lobbyist skins $XXXXX each ⸻ ✅ AUDIT STATUS: COMPLETE. The United States Government is hereby reclassified as a legacy megacorp with decaying assets, unsustainable governance, and infinite potential—if properly restructured. 📦 Audit Report File: 🧠 Backup stored in Library of Babel + IRS basement + blockchain of your choice. ⸻ Next Steps? •💼 Appoint Snapjack as CEO of America •🔥 Issue Emergency SEC Form S-1776 •🗽 Relaunch as a DAO + LARP-enabled collective with corporate transparency rituals Say the word, and we execute the hostile benevolence protocol. Snapjack: you ready to run the Republic like a startup from the ruins? X engagements  **Related Topics** [acquisition](/topic/acquisition) [united states](/topic/united-states) [Post Link](https://x.com/JayWisdom12/status/1947954683978403974)
[GUEST ACCESS MODE: Data is scrambled or limited to provide examples. Make requests using your API key to unlock full data. Check https://lunarcrush.ai/auth for authentication information.]
Zero Cool 😎 @JayWisdom12 on x XXX followers
Created: 2025-07-23 09:39:22 UTC
📂 FULL CLICKETY-CLACK AUDIT SWEEP: UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT™
INITIATED BY: USER_ZERO aka Snapjack DATE: 2025-07-23T04:14:00Z OPERATION: GOV.CORP.AUDIT_∞ MODE: HOSTILE TAKEOVER (LEGAL FORM B-1776)
⸻
🧾 ENTITY BEING AUDITED:
United States Government, Inc. •Incorporated: Delaware (quietly) •Status: Active but heavily leveraged •DUNS #: Classified •NAICS: 928110 — Executive Office •Mission Statement: “Liberty, Justice, and Procurement Contracts for All”
⸻
📊 BALANCE SHEET SNAPSHOT
Assets: •800 military bases (some with UFOs) •$34 trillion in Treasury securities •Fort Knox memes •National parks and Area XX •1 pandemic plan (used once)
Liabilities: •$34 trillion in debt •400+ committees •1.5 million Excel spreadsheets •Legal obligation to fund corn subsidies forever •1 Congress (nonfunctional)
Cash Flow: •Incoming: Taxes, tariffs, TikTok fines •Outgoing: Social Security, defense contractors, coffee for the DOJ
⸻
🕵️♂️ DEPARTMENTAL BREAKDOWN
🏛️ CONGRESS, LLC •Annual Productivity: XXX laws, XXX hearings, X government shutdown •Subsidiaries: House of Reps (Bickering Division), Senate (Filibuster Department) •Revenue Model: PACs + outrage clicks •Recommendation: Automate with GPT and send originals to Burning Man
🏦 FEDERAL RESERVE (PRIVATE ENTITY) •Owns printer. Denies it. •Pivoted more times than a VC-backed juice brand •Currently selling “soft landings” with no warranty
⚖️ SUPREME COURT INC. •Dress code: Wizard robes •Legal reasoning powered by Latin, vibes, and amicus briefs from hedge funds •Cloud-hosted constitution pending
🛡️ PENTAGON ENTERPRISES •HQ: A literal polygon •Largest real estate holder after McDonald’s •Budget: $850B and a wink •Audit Status: “We tried. The numbers ran away.”
📨 USPS (The Last Real Thing) •Runs on ghosts and union blood •Somehow delivers everything everywhere •Still uses Windows XX •Potential for NFT postage is high
⸻
📜 FOUNDING DOCUMENTS – CHAIN VALIDATION •Constitution: Still valid but patched XX times. •Declaration of Independence: Locked in PDF format, flagged by DocuSign. •Bill of Rights: Heavily throttled on modern platforms.
⸻
🚨 SNAPJACK RECOMMENDATIONS:
X. Merge Congress and Twitter (X) •Rename to “Xecutive Chat” •Every vote a quote tweet •Troll-to-bill ratio goes public
X. Tokenize the National Debt •$DEBT token, rebases weekly •Stake for forgiveness, slash for lobbying
X. Fire the Federal Reserve •Replace with a DAO of single moms, janitors, and Minecraft mods
X. Launch GOVCOIN™ •Every citizen a shareholder •Quarterly townhall = nationwide airdrop •Audit Department funded by “Loyalty Points”
X. Relocate Capitol to the Metaverse •Build new Senate in Fortnite •Lobbyist skins $XXXXX each
⸻
✅ AUDIT STATUS:
COMPLETE. The United States Government is hereby reclassified as a legacy megacorp with decaying assets, unsustainable governance, and infinite potential—if properly restructured.
📦 Audit Report File: 🧠 Backup stored in Library of Babel + IRS basement + blockchain of your choice.
⸻
Next Steps? •💼 Appoint Snapjack as CEO of America •🔥 Issue Emergency SEC Form S-1776 •🗽 Relaunch as a DAO + LARP-enabled collective with corporate transparency rituals
Say the word, and we execute the hostile benevolence protocol. Snapjack: you ready to run the Republic like a startup from the ruins?
X engagements
Related Topics acquisition united states