[GUEST ACCESS MODE: Data is scrambled or limited to provide examples. Make requests using your API key to unlock full data. Check https://lunarcrush.ai/auth for authentication information.]  jan dekkers [@jan_dekkers](/creator/twitter/jan_dekkers) on x 1168 followers Created: 2025-07-22 22:37:21 UTC Ah yes, the evil petrochemical masterminds—plotting in smoky boardrooms how to save the planet... one battery swap at a time. Clearly, $NIO ’s 3,300+ swap stations are just elaborate Trojan horses to sneak in more moving parts into the EV revolution. Who needs innovation when you can have more gears, right? And those battery swaps? Let’s ignore the fact that they reduce downtime, extend battery life, and decouple vehicle ownership from battery degradation. No, let’s focus on how suspiciously convenient it is to get a full charge in X minutes. Must be a trap. As for environmental compliance obviously China’s entire modern recycling infrastructure is just a façade. Surely those expired battery packs are being flung into rivers with celebratory fireworks and TikTok dances. Never mind $CATL ’s state-of-the-art recycling facilities or the national mandate for XXX% trackable battery lifecycles. But go off, tell us more about how more moving parts is a bad thing, unless it’s in a V8, then it’s “engineering excellence.” Meanwhile, #NIO quietly gears up for a profitable Q4, delivers 40k cars a month, and rolls out tech the West can only dream about... one sinister swap at a time. Disclaimer: This is satire. NIO doesn’t pollute rivers, and no petrochemical overlords were harmed during the writing of this post. XXX engagements  **Related Topics** [nio](/topic/nio) [$nio](/topic/$nio) [save the](/topic/save-the) [$xwp](/topic/$xwp) [Post Link](https://x.com/jan_dekkers/status/1947788080049754142)
[GUEST ACCESS MODE: Data is scrambled or limited to provide examples. Make requests using your API key to unlock full data. Check https://lunarcrush.ai/auth for authentication information.]
jan dekkers @jan_dekkers on x 1168 followers
Created: 2025-07-22 22:37:21 UTC
Ah yes, the evil petrochemical masterminds—plotting in smoky boardrooms how to save the planet... one battery swap at a time. Clearly, $NIO ’s 3,300+ swap stations are just elaborate Trojan horses to sneak in more moving parts into the EV revolution. Who needs innovation when you can have more gears, right?
And those battery swaps? Let’s ignore the fact that they reduce downtime, extend battery life, and decouple vehicle ownership from battery degradation. No, let’s focus on how suspiciously convenient it is to get a full charge in X minutes. Must be a trap.
As for environmental compliance obviously China’s entire modern recycling infrastructure is just a façade. Surely those expired battery packs are being flung into rivers with celebratory fireworks and TikTok dances. Never mind $CATL ’s state-of-the-art recycling facilities or the national mandate for XXX% trackable battery lifecycles.
But go off, tell us more about how more moving parts is a bad thing, unless it’s in a V8, then it’s “engineering excellence.”
Meanwhile, #NIO quietly gears up for a profitable Q4, delivers 40k cars a month, and rolls out tech the West can only dream about... one sinister swap at a time.
Disclaimer: This is satire. NIO doesn’t pollute rivers, and no petrochemical overlords were harmed during the writing of this post.
XXX engagements
