# ![@slurplebrained Avatar](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:26/cr:twitter::1585404812178358272.png) @slurplebrained 🪬🟣🧠

🪬🟣🧠 posts on X about twitter, in the, money, murder the most. They currently have [-------] followers and [----] posts still getting attention that total [-----] engagements in the last [--] hours.

### Engagements: [-----] [#](/creator/twitter::1585404812178358272/interactions)
![Engagements Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1585404812178358272/c:line/m:interactions.svg)

- [--] Week [-----] +48%
- [--] Month [------] +297%
- [--] Months [-------] +440%
- [--] Year [-------] -58%

### Mentions: [--] [#](/creator/twitter::1585404812178358272/posts_active)
![Mentions Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1585404812178358272/c:line/m:posts_active.svg)

- [--] Year [--] -92%

### Followers: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::1585404812178358272/followers)
![Followers Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1585404812178358272/c:line/m:followers.svg)

- [--] Week [-----] +0.35%
- [--] Month [-----] +2.20%
- [--] Months [-----] +8%
- [--] Year [-----] +13%

### CreatorRank: [---------] [#](/creator/twitter::1585404812178358272/influencer_rank)
![CreatorRank Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1585404812178358272/c:line/m:influencer_rank.svg)

### Social Influence

**Social category influence**
[countries](/list/countries)  [technology brands](/list/technology-brands)  [finance](/list/finance)  [stocks](/list/stocks)  [celebrities](/list/celebrities)  [travel destinations](/list/travel-destinations)  [social networks](/list/social-networks)  [musicians](/list/musicians)  [automotive brands](/list/automotive-brands)  [gaming](/list/gaming) 

**Social topic influence**
[twitter](/topic/twitter), [in the](/topic/in-the), [money](/topic/money), [murder](/topic/murder), [if you](/topic/if-you), [canada](/topic/canada), [shoutout](/topic/shoutout), [earthquake](/topic/earthquake), [united states](/topic/united-states), [for the](/topic/for-the)

**Top assets mentioned**
[DoorDash Inc. (DASH)](/topic/doordash) [Alphabet Inc Class A (GOOGL)](/topic/$googl) [Everest (ID)](/topic/everest) [GrokCoin (GROKCOIN)](/topic/grok) [Reddit, Inc.  (RDDT)](/topic/reddit) [BlackBerry Limited (BB)](/topic/blackberry) [Microsoft Corp. (MSFT)](/topic/microsoft) [Noble Corporation (NE)](/topic/$ne)
### Top Social Posts
Top posts by engagements in the last [--] hours

"@growing_daniel We need a massive government redistribution of schizo. Tiktok's greedy hoarding of schizo is hurting the common people"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1622983747619508225)  2023-02-07T15:40Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"On this day in [----] Carlos Santana won eight Grammy awards for his album Supernatural"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1631537278207119365)  2023-03-03T06:09Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Nominative determinism is when every person named Taylor is a boy and every person named Sydney is a girl"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1661883668854439938)  2023-05-25T23:55Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"We need to make the Moon fully brandable. We need to project the Pepsi logo onto it at night"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1678324214841892865)  2023-07-10T08:56Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Polygamy isn't aesthetically repulsive to me. I'm more upset about the economic inequity of it. Your autistic ass has twelve genderfluid relationships while I remain down bad Redistribute the wealth of the 1%"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1678468669859307525)  2023-07-10T18:24Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@iamaheron_ Well they CAN. But"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1678576870437134336)  2023-07-11T01:28Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"They're trying to make this a national park again. I'm not sure what additional protections the land would receive in practice or if national park status will lead to this becoming too popular. But it was a gem and one of my favorite parts of the trip"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1678776593119084545)  2023-07-11T14:42Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Hellachans I especially loved how they integrated a Buddhist shrine onto the pedestrian path by Caesar's Palace. It's the microdose of spirituality we need in the 4HL"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1678882979869782019)  2023-07-11T21:44Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Still thinking about this"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1679656203960320000)  2023-07-14T00:57Z [----] followers, 898.2K engagements


"@eigenrobot @selentelechia @ouranometrian2 The same person worked themself up to be upset again about the whole deal"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1687863437215621120)  2023-08-05T16:35Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@nolemonnomelon In memory this is between some ankle rolls some charley horses and crushing my hand into my forearm and breaking four bones in my wrist I also got hit by a car and broke my ankle but was more in shock"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1687913451090223104)  2023-08-05T19:48Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Being told your son shot up a school must be one of the worst things a parent can hear. But do you think they get some satisfaction out of being told how high the body count was I mean they raised a school shooter. They probably have a messed up sense of values"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1689331293836787712)  2023-08-09T17:42Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@jnyboy He failed the vibe check"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1689501975119884289)  2023-08-10T05:00Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"DALL-E refuses to work with the prompt "A photograph of the Buddha at Dick's Last Resort." So you're just going to have to sit there and imagine him meditating in a state of tranquility while the waitress roasts him"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1690097553180614656)  2023-08-11T20:27Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Physicists have found there is only one state of being a heir of Anglo civilization driven to prosperity and abject madness by the jungle. Australia and Florida are opposite spin polarities of the same energized particle. Their ground state runs through Melbourne"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1690800693295136769)  2023-08-13T19:01Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Picture this. A nostalgic throwback to a 50s malt shop. Two young lovers eyes locked slurping milkshakes. Evocative. We pan in and a caption appears. Cant make love without getting Slurple Brained"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1690913498623049729)  2023-08-14T02:29Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@OmegaInfinitum No. I will forever be in bondage under the Jimmy John's non-compete clauses unable to divulge their sandwich-making secrets to other restaurants"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1691133119242424325)  2023-08-14T17:02Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Update: people who voted red on that poll are being put on lists and gathered into trains by blue voters"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1691195530146140161)  2023-08-14T21:10Z [---] followers, [----] engagements


"Yud-kow-sky: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap at three on the teeth. Yud. Kow. Sky. He was Yud plain Yud in the morning crouching during the Zoom meeting in one sock"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1691624015683539006)  2023-08-16T01:32Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"He was Eliezer in slacks. He was Mr. Yudkowsky at the AI safety forum. He was ESYudkowsky online. But in my arms he was always Yudkowsky"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1691624017751417298)  2023-08-16T01:32Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@plemy11 They should build a Trump-themed casino. It would make so much money"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1693105828369142203)  2023-08-20T03:41Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Sure you may be a 10x engineer. You may have total compensation in the mid six figures. But Im the shift manager here at Dicks Sporting Goods and as long as youre here youre in my territory. Welcome to your worst nightmare"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1694031725309878634)  2023-08-22T17:00Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"It's ridiculous that so many people need housing while developers continue to build luxury urban castles for the 1%"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1695614600253739159)  2023-08-27T01:49Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"My decision to watch The Grey (2011) on acid wasn't as disastrous as my decision to go to grad school but has its own special exhibit in my private Hall of Massive Ls. A negative-valence memory palace"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1695637502478930010)  2023-08-27T03:20Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@a_musingcat Chipotle hasnt been worth it at least since COVID hit. You will never get back that cozy feeling you had in a Chipotle in 2009"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1695861056457826643)  2023-08-27T18:09Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Getting my house flooded because I decided to stay safe by getting bags of weed instead of bags of sand"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1696499071744090510)  2023-08-29T12:24Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"I had a good time riding out Hurricane Ian despite the tragedy necessitated. Let's see how Idalia goes"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1696499308500001184)  2023-08-29T12:25Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Bold of this gift shop at the Holocaust museum to include so many humor and prank-based items"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1699120261381947677)  2023-09-05T18:00Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Historycourses It would be unusual for someone who consciously follows you to have antisemitic beliefs considering your openness about being Jewish. Have you considered starting a dialogue with them"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1699267496946085993)  2023-09-06T03:45Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"My zoomer coworkers forgot about 9/11"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1700925155260653889)  2023-09-10T17:32Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@meteor_cultist @a_musingcat Oh man I have a treat for you both"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1701726850987295145)  2023-09-12T22:37Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"The purpose of art is to elicit an emotional response in the viewer"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1701744689404121177)  2023-09-12T23:48Z [----] followers, 795.1K engagements


"@knickknackfiend My question is why would they be buying ice if they lived in Antarctica"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1701747167042400613)  2023-09-12T23:58Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"My dream job is to be one of those guys who makes up and sends you verification codes. I could make up codes all day. [------]. [------]. [------]. It comes naturally to me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1702099357334433878)  2023-09-13T23:18Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Extremely embarrassing for the genre that the last rock band was either The Black Keys or Imagine Dragons"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1702148328702542056)  2023-09-14T02:32Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@shpeegleboop That's no use. His armed guards will stop us. What we must do is crash the housing market"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1702152795116261870)  2023-09-14T02:50Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"The year is [----]. I am sitting in the central square of New Hayes Valley Guyana. The e/acc Enforcement Squad is handing out cups of Flavor-Aid. Drink anon. The singularity is here. AGI is about to take over. We will become beings of light. I hear children cry then silence"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1702733410161041502)  2023-09-15T17:17Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Old-fashioned but theres still alpha in gnostic premonitions and visions"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1703098461405520232)  2023-09-16T17:28Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"When a reporter asked George Mallory in [----] why he was attempting to scale Mount Everest Mallory famously quipped Because the summit is [-----] feet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1703120701404725752)  2023-09-16T18:56Z [--] followers, [--] engagements


"This is a Crunchwrap Supreme. They used one pump of nacho cheese instead of two. This one is a Chalupa Supreme. The shell tastes bitter. The fryer needs its oil changed. This is a Chili Cheese Burrito but they ran out of chili and used beef and red sauce instead"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1703440124904694127)  2023-09-17T16:05Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Stable Diffusion trying to fulfill these AI art requests"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1703513977852952653)  2023-09-17T20:59Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@KrikkitMotel hell yeah dude"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1703927975421288563)  2023-09-19T00:24Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"At some point meditation cognitive-behavioral therapy and internal family systems arent enough. Thats where we step in at Bobs Exorcisms"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1704600060086911375)  2023-09-20T20:54Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"We need tiers to classify conspiracy theories e.g. 1: 9/11 was an inside job. Follow the money and you'll find complicit Saudi and US officials 2: 9/11 was an inside job. The planes never existed. The towers were secretly bombed 3: 9/11 was caused by inter-dimensional aliens"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1705250989870112827)  2023-09-22T16:01Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Mark Wahlberg rose to fame after saying about the 9/11 hijackings If I was on that plane with my kids. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin. Who would have been the funniest celebrity to try and stop 9/11"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1706799740317229084)  2023-09-26T22:35Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@shpeegleboop Adding him to the runners-up with James Corden Samuel L. Jackson and Grimes"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1706800366669488386)  2023-09-26T22:38Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"The German Foreign Office proclaimed today that they want to save lives. This is a change from their last policy of killing everyone on Earth Yes. And its called saving lives. Yes. And its called saving lives"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1707852030633525704)  2023-09-29T20:17Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Yeah Im an accelerationist founder. Sadly we went under after our IPO. Ever hear of the e/acc moving company Move Fast and Break Things"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1708153387382935697)  2023-09-30T16:14Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"My TC is in the mid six figures and I work in California but not in tech. My job is to be the guy who comes up with celebrity names. Ever hear of Cardi B Post Malone I'm that guy. Check out these new celebrities coming out soon. "Dustie Phat." "Chi Balboa." "Exuberant T""  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1708947932571996482)  2023-10-02T20:51Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Thinking of quitting my job and moving to Central Asia. Id be much happier on the steppe somewhere drinking yak milk in my yurt. Staring out into the distance on my horse with a trained falcon perched on my arm"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1709915869298434070)  2023-10-05T12:58Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Chipotle is unveiling a new mystery protein They announced the so-called perrito bowl. Sounds exotic"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1710379406894539161)  2023-10-06T19:40Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"I ran into @FeralPHunter last Pawgust at the San Francisco Olive Garden. I didnt know what to say But he put his meaty hand on my shoulder and said When youre here youre family. Back home we call it familia. He then let me take this picture"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1710737427415908658)  2023-10-07T19:22Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"I tell joke. Man cause global warming. Man say We must stop this. Well go extinct. Man no longer has kids. Man go extinct"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1710795829378691475)  2023-10-07T23:14Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"This year I went to Toronto to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. On my host's countertop was a book called "To Serve Americans." I thought it was a good sign until I opened it up and found it was a cookbook"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1712069797632950302)  2023-10-11T11:37Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"International House of Pancakes: a restaurant International Day of Jihad: today International Day of Pancakes: February 13th International House of Jihad:"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1712829752224931889)  2023-10-13T13:56Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Bing's image generator blocks the prompt "Jigsaw in Saw Christmas special" so you'll just have to use your imagination"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1713040802853617898)  2023-10-14T03:55Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@temeton_pink It looks like Jack Nicholson being taken over by reddit in a manner similar to The Fly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1713204058029269205)  2023-10-14T14:44Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Me on the timeline: bussy guys haha. DAE want to get some bussy lmao. Me when I actually get a shred of male attention:"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1713382912878428540)  2023-10-15T02:34Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@CousinTurn I made Stephen Curry in The Sims and when he accidentally set himself on fire and died I cried"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1713723644424204310)  2023-10-16T01:08Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Hitler wanted to become an artist and was decently good at it but was rejected from art school and decided to take over the world. In my headcanon Donald Trump had a similar origin story in comedy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1714318964023566731)  2023-10-17T16:34Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Looks like Bing doesnt recognize Soul Bird from The Midnight Gospel but these results are still cool"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1714367279301812491)  2023-10-17T19:46Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Kyle Wiggers sounds like the final boss of middle school"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1714482820259676521)  2023-10-18T03:25Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"You know what the best part of my day is It's for about ten seconds when I log onto Twitter and check @butt_cousin's profile. 'Cause I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll check his tweets and he'll have come back with a pedophile joke. No goodbye no see ya later no nothin'"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1714651540634378316)  2023-10-18T14:35Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"I'm nearing my 30s and don't have a favorite era of history. Do I go with the normie choice of WWII The tried-and-true obsessions with the Civil War or Rome Or do I get into something arcane like the Bronze Age"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1715467047944036455)  2023-10-20T20:36Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"I tried recreating my normal pfp in Bing's AI through a short prompt and it's delightful. So much of an improvement from DALL-E [--] a year ago which generated results that were distorted featured more artifacts and didn't always follow the prompt. Accelerate this technology"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1715897129657389399)  2023-10-22T01:05Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"BREAKING: In a series of pardons for various rap and hip-hop artists following Kodak Black and Lil Wayne President Trump has pardoned R. Kelly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1715907024720998498)  2023-10-22T01:44Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"The straw that broke the camels back and got my DALL-E [--] access revoked was prompting for a still from a pirate-themed Pixar movie named Arrr Kelly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1716141980944605454)  2023-10-22T17:18Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"This actually happened to me in the parking lot of Vibecamp"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1716461100810518889)  2023-10-23T14:26Z [---] followers, [----] engagements


"Congrats to Alex Jones. Infowars host media personality and holder of the motorcycle record for the Cannonball Run"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1717353866839068746)  2023-10-26T01:34Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Did you ever hear about Thomas Edisons hiring process Hed go out for a meal with a job applicant and watch. If they tasted the soup before applying salt they were proper experimentalists and all clear. If they salted their soup before tasting hed pin them down and rape them"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1718670923467812871)  2023-10-29T16:47Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Please dont interrupt me while Im reading a book. Cant you see Im nose deep in Stewie and Samsara: The Buddhist Philosophy of Family Guy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1723435951467225378)  2023-11-11T20:22Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"DAY FOUR More confident in my car now that it isnt shaking or wobbling on the highway Departing Indianapolis IN"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1725163395161149526)  2023-11-16T14:46Z [---] followers, [----] engagements


"A shining beacon of American might progress and ingenuity. And next to the Salesforce tower is some war monument"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1725172607853457844)  2023-11-16T15:22Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"My haters all live in some sort of a sod house like this one as does one of my mutuals Gloomy weather pervading"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1726283584015826962)  2023-11-19T16:57Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"This recreation of a frontier fort contains a large Native American muffler man which doesnt seem historically accurate"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1726292428133458266)  2023-11-19T17:32Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Im the guy in the criminal courts tasked with setting the tokens for convictions. This person was convicted of securities fraud of sexual assault you get the idea You can pay me off. For $50 Ill convict your landlord of first-degree murder. For $100 I can clear your charges"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728183104945398036)  2023-11-24T22:45Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Slurples daily routine 3:00 p.m. rise 3:05 Four Loko with the morning papers one Elfbar 3:45 cocaine 3:50 another glass of Four Loko Elfbar 4:05 first cup of coffee Elfbar 4:15 cocaine 4:16 orange juice Elfbar 4:30 cocaine 4:54 cocaine 5:05 cocaine 5:11 coffee Elfbar"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728202146582233449)  2023-11-25T00:01Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"5:30 more ice with the Four Loko 5:45 cocaine etc. etc. 6:00 grass to take the edge off the day 7:05 the seediest gay bar for lunch Heineken two margaritas coleslaw a taco salad a double order of fried onion rings carrot cake ice cream a bean fritter Elfbar another H"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728202152827572229)  2023-11-25T00:01Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously 10:00 drops acid 11:00 Celsius (energy drink) cocaine grass 11:30 cocaine etc etc. 12:00 midnight Slurple Brained is ready to tweet 12:056:00 a.m. Fireball cocaine grass Monster coffee Heineken continuous pornographic movies"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728203308874240103)  2023-11-25T00:05Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Prayers for Joshua Bradford [--] of South Bend Indiana. Due to his familys picky eating habits and his garbage disposal reputation for not wanting to waste food he will be eating no fewer than sixty-one (61) sandwiches with leftover turkey in the following week"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728220537992953996)  2023-11-25T01:14Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@deepfates This one is the most iconic out of all the states tbh"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728221256468582630)  2023-11-25T01:17Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@_holyweather Napoleon was Gods punishment for Europeans who hadnt yet migrated to Australia or the New World"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728552164522692709)  2023-11-25T23:12Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Thomas Jefferson High School fired me today. If you know of any schools willing to take on a cancelled guidance counselor let me know. I was terminated for tweeting How do we get inner-city kids to chimp out over math and science"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1728629975115563030)  2023-11-26T04:21Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"I have successfully turned Meta AI into Nick Mullen"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1729935247700324785)  2023-11-29T18:47Z [---] followers, [----] engagements


"RIP to a real one"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730043262789198131)  2023-11-30T01:57Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"I logged into LinkedIn tonight to change my mailing address and I saw a post by a high-school classmate that was so disgustingly smarmy and upsetting I closed my account"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730095883658870872)  2023-11-30T05:26Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@BobSmithumz Incredible work"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730299604749656572)  2023-11-30T18:55Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"How to people go to the bathroom high up on Mount Everest I assume your rear end would freeze solid. Do they wear diapers or do they soil themselves for days until they reach warmer elevations"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730382053026476184)  2023-12-01T00:23Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@gigafelon The more I learn about the logistics the less I want to climb Everest"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730388551433634099)  2023-12-01T00:49Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@genomerambler This is some The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker shit"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1730461287690403857)  2023-12-01T05:38Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"You (globalist scum and curmudgeon): Im sorry but this baby on our flight is being too loud Me (pro-natalist savior of civilization): This is a war cry for the future of our civilization you fat pig"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731148229016961091)  2023-12-03T03:07Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@plemy11 Congrats for becoming the stop being virgins guy to the internet forever"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731369842136261016)  2023-12-03T17:48Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"If Ron Paul were alive hed be e/acc"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731524552696733966)  2023-12-04T04:03Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Sorry babe. I dont actually hate Jews. I just have strong feelings about what Stephen Jay Gould did to E.O. Wilson"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731531240002793907)  2023-12-04T04:29Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@a_musingcat So true bestie (DM me chest pics pls)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731550984923750662)  2023-12-04T05:48Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@hottwinklawyer Turkmenistan"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731829915279094131)  2023-12-05T00:16Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"As a teen I listened to all sorts of rap. Eminem. Macklemore. Beastie Boys. Mac Miller"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731856470432436437)  2023-12-05T02:02Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@lazangai I can give you $20"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1731894797328404846)  2023-12-05T04:34Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@trackpadfollies In Australia the zero-COVID position was center-right IIRC"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1732098219709169997)  2023-12-05T18:02Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@BarneyFlames The USA Indonesia. What country is next for Barack Obama to rule"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1732299033467924921)  2023-12-06T07:20Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"BAD NEWS FOR ANIMAL LOVERS: A gazelle died today in the Serengeti"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1732595954967278068)  2023-12-07T03:00Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@chercher_ai The first three are all misnomers. In no Smashing Pumpkins songs do they smash pumpkins. In no Counting Crows songs do they count crows. In no Imagine Dragons songs do they imagine dragons"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1732881597295395076)  2023-12-07T21:55Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@dschorno I was under the impression that New York City *is* a clown show"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733148247559172218)  2023-12-08T15:35Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Chuck Norris jokes. You dont hear those anymore"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733175953747296677)  2023-12-08T17:25Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@hottwinklawyer Im afraid of going to Austria. What if my ground harness breaks and I fly down into space"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733196487587397653)  2023-12-08T18:46Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"I cant wait for the Erowid trip reports on Panera lemonade"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733243868785881498)  2023-12-08T21:55Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Dozens of online orders. A line of angry customers out the door. Working here at Panera is pure suffering. I cant take this pain any more. I head to the lemonade"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733334419312967948)  2023-12-09T03:55Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Crazy that Panera has started putting these signs on their doors"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733365542155895023)  2023-12-09T05:58Z [---] followers, [----] engagements


"@squirtle_says We thought North Korea was the threat but due to their lack of reproduction we may need to invade South Korea instead"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1733916528863838452)  2023-12-10T18:28Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Today marks Devins second year at Salesforce. He still isnt sure what the company does but hes excited to learn"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1734088927269851139)  2023-12-11T05:53Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"True crime about financial crimes: funny and intriguing True crime about murder: imparts psychic damage"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1734101230111392228)  2023-12-11T06:42Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Its never worth it to tell people you have PTSD. Just make the Roblox death sound repeatedly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1734104635965841558)  2023-12-11T06:55Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"If you have complex PTSD you can try the Lego Yoda death sound"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1734106283492720927)  2023-12-11T07:02Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@ThanksThoth Gooning is one of those things that's classy when rich people do it and trashy when poor people do it. Like living at a hotel or physically fighting. The middle class is uninvolved"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1734117250398060977)  2023-12-11T07:45Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"Toy Story is a classist tale that punches down portraying Sid (rough childhood definitely getting molested) as innately evil for his creative treatment of inanimate objects. Andy meanwhile is lauded for forming cherished memories around consumer brands"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1734808086135836882)  2023-12-13T05:30Z [----] followers, 1.3M engagements


"YOU HAVE A DISORDER: -Stigmatizing -Ableist -Enslaves you to therapy culture -Meant to get you reliant on prescription drugs YOU EMBODY THE DIONYSIAN ETHOS: -Euro chic classy -Imbues a sense of purpose -Good times all around -Great excuse to drink boxed wine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1735847684878274880)  2023-12-16T02:21Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Edinburgh Scotland. [----]. JK Rowling furrows her brow and puts a question mark next to Muggles. She looks at her old ideas. Scratched out on the page: Nuggurs Muggins Magos Nomacks Limpwands Inspells Monkeys The Magicless Jew Just the N word"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736178915952251070)  2023-12-17T00:18Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@BarneyFlames Every time one of these comes out I break out in a cold sweat wondering if my fling with that Fox News pundit will be exposed next"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736279921146909173)  2023-12-17T06:59Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"FOR THOSE ABOUT TO GROK WE SALUTE YOU"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736506105352884675)  2023-12-17T21:58Z [---] followers, [--] engagements


"@kenthesimp The CEO of Panera pulls the levers and has the employees spike it with too much caffeine in case they need another death"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736623360694710313)  2023-12-18T05:44Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"In the land of the eunuchs the one-balled man is king"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736833808912330902)  2023-12-18T19:40Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"The EU is a banana republic that grows regulations instead of produce"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1736843483208614189)  2023-12-18T20:18Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@hottwinklawyer Kid just needs a little skin care and weight loss. Why are people in the replies going straight to eugenics"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1737305769400512716)  2023-12-20T02:55Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Such a mood right now"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1738299825572196368)  2023-12-22T20:45Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Raining too hard to hike now and this cheeky bastard kept a close eye on my bread bowl"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1738307118531535308)  2023-12-22T21:14Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@hottwinklawyer How do they stay so svelte and twinklike"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1738794577832865974)  2023-12-24T05:31Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"They even had a Christmas tree on the trail"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1739078624194756834)  2023-12-25T00:20Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Andr3jH We could have saved Credit Suisse"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1739289035112415588)  2023-12-25T14:16Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"For Christmas I am gifting myself the rest of my DALL-E credits to generate the perfect pfp"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1739341708889067832)  2023-12-25T17:45Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"BROKE: opening a gift on Christmas Eve because you just cant wait WOKE: saving the gifts for Christmas morning BESPOKE: waiting to buy gifts until the day after Christmas when they go on sale"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1739484481944498556)  2023-12-26T03:13Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"You're Christlike Okay but how many sex workers would cry if you were executed for undermining the government by distributing a psychedelic sacrament"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1739537049299066948)  2023-12-26T06:42Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"Unisex Yeah I had a brony phase but I never jerked off to them"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1739797069571805440)  2023-12-26T23:55Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"When you go from being a high-school grad interested in tech and discussing philosophy to being a 25-year-old canceled on multiple platforms having spent all your money on bored apes and dopesick under a bridge after getting ejected from the polycule"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1739878056800801096)  2023-12-27T05:17Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Dolly Parton gave me cancer"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1740080595642823109)  2023-12-27T18:41Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"First the woke mob encouraged innocent Americans to try soccer (homosexual Eurosport). Then they used their influence to name a woke team after inserting a rod into your urethra (also homosexual Eurosport). Do you see the pattern"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1740177662574993693)  2023-12-28T01:07Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"@MrBurnsHatesU You can't truly binge eat without carbs"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1740550732296986941)  2023-12-29T01:50Z [--] followers, [--] engagements


"Even as a child I understood the play rug was a simulacrum. That it was mere fabric my imagination envisioned as a city. Yet I dreamed of the next step for civilization"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1740590969094103274)  2023-12-29T04:30Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"@MrBurnsHatesU This is how I get home from Applebees after having too many Dollaritas"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1740754439550734505)  2023-12-29T15:19Z [--] followers, [--] engagements


"Hate it when youre climbing Mount Everest and some guy comes up the path behind you with a blaring speaker and a dog that stops to check you out"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1740895746218663983)  2023-12-30T00:41Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Alcoholic father voice If Elon Musk is smart why doesnt he invent a woman that stays quiet Not like your bitch mother"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1741268519910797471)  2023-12-31T01:22Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Coscorrodrift Utah has the finest earth on show"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1741328556020654497)  2023-12-31T05:20Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Coming to work tired and dehydrated enough to start having an acid flashback when the Percy Jackson credits play in the employee lounge"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1741715020621443321)  2024-01-01T06:56Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"The ideas of today will stochastically evolve through history In [----] Chile and Bolivia go to war over doge memes. In [----] a Chinese emperor claims to be the reincarnation of Mr. Beast. In [----] vaping makes a comeback The future will be more cringe than you can possibly imagine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1742060794395935033)  2024-01-02T05:50Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"Twitter would be better if they followed NASCAR practices and told us the corporate sponsor behind each argument in the discourse"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1742619300056400264)  2024-01-03T18:49Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"You thought the Ashley Madison data breach caused chaos Wait until Nintendo gets hacked and everyone knows about the racist Miis you made in 2007"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1743460553065124344)  2024-01-06T02:32Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole hackathon. There they reported to them and showed them leetcode from San Francisco. They gave Moses this account: We went into the land to which you sent us and it does flow with Zyns and Diet Coke Numbers 13:26-27"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1743725053810786755)  2024-01-06T20:03Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"If we're supposed to support women on TikTok building tunnels under their homes I don't see why we shouldn't support these guys. They're having fun #BREAKING Ten people arrested after a scuffle with the NYPD took place inside [---]. https://t.co/ouEIrUhbsE #BREAKING Ten people arrested after a scuffle with the NYPD took place inside [---]. https://t.co/ouEIrUhbsE"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1744658854225526985)  2024-01-09T09:54Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Trapped in one of those reverse Picture of Dorian Gray situations in which my body withers and decays but my AI-generated profile pic gets even cuter with age"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1744756519332413610)  2024-01-09T16:22Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Andr3jH omg I love Prague 😍"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1744769532991021317)  2024-01-09T17:14Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@YeOldeMoby @elonmusk There are still real ones out there"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1745004378183152121)  2024-01-10T08:47Z [--] followers, [--] engagements


"@llmbasedos lmao exactly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1745149706295259329)  2024-01-10T18:24Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"What is he saying in the groupchat"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1745161530495369708)  2024-01-10T19:11Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@Hellachans Are you ready to parachute out D.B. Cooper-style when the door blows out"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1745675923490533422)  2024-01-12T05:15Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@___frye ssssshhhhh don't bring attention to this. I want to see how reddit's AI will crash and burn without intervention"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1745903613640356327)  2024-01-12T20:20Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain is a bunch of baloney. What else are they lying about"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1746022218549895603)  2024-01-13T04:11Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@FatherMcKennaa Good luck getting shrooms after the collapse of capitalism"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1746390498825351669)  2024-01-14T04:35Z [--] followers, [--] engagements


"BROKE: trying to change local politics through voting and civic participation WOKE: moving somewhere in line with your political beliefs BESPOKE: moving somewhere with the opposite of your political beliefs so you have more people to bully"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1746428035728134266)  2024-01-14T07:04Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"They knew what they were doing when they designated Martin Luther King Jr. Day to be in mid-January statistically the whitest time of year"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747049644637720936)  2024-01-16T00:14Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@Historycourses Either this or anything by Edgar Allan Poe but that wouldve been too tryhard of an answer"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747332369034670207)  2024-01-16T18:57Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Started with Tiktok feeds of cute cats and dogs. Ended with me living under a bridge spending the little change I had on generating superstimuli of adorable pets their artificial eyes staring into mine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747485481804464288)  2024-01-17T05:06Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Houthis More like Houthis pencer here"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747506583930855475)  2024-01-17T06:30Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@postjawline This looks like a still frame from an upbeat IKEA music video"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747672674908987607)  2024-01-17T17:30Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@bussy_tim @Samtanic_Panic When communism drives people to commit terrorism or mass murder it gets brushed under the rug as accidental or a fluke. The political connections are disguised pretty quickly so we forget"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1747676215362937171)  2024-01-17T17:44Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"A YouTube video The SHOCKING Reason Why Religions BAN Eating Pork 0:00 Intro 1:45 Ad read 4:27 Recap of the subject matter 6:10 A full evolutionary history of swine 14:33 A complete explanation of Abrahamic religions 25:18 It's because of trichinosis 25:44 Full list of Patreons"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1748101337987076335)  2024-01-18T21:53Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Being hospitalized being in jail and being in middle school are three similar experiences You're stuck in a bureaucratic compound of buildings in a state of overwhelming boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1748241005672108394)  2024-01-19T07:08Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Crazy to think that the most naturally gifted baseball player might just be a guy sitting in his yurt in Mongolia somewhere right now"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1748484367134187672)  2024-01-19T23:15Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@samswoora The corollary is that you dont feel like you have a low risk tolerance until you talk to someone with a high one and then you realize how different you think"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1748617674954047693)  2024-01-20T08:05Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"@YSufferer You can do this if you play enough Call of Duty"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1749292644529037514)  2024-01-22T04:47Z [---] followers, [---] engagements


"@adamrisom This is why you never fall asleep listening to Hillary Clintons memoir"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1749581562528911565)  2024-01-22T23:55Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@GabeHallyB Nah man the shit is going through you"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1749673984164286781)  2024-01-23T06:02Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Fellas how often does this happen to you You find a guy online. Profile says masc4masc. But when you meet in person hes the fruitiest little twink youve ever laid eyes on Join me as I petition our congressmen to pass legislation for a universal masc certification"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1749990781082112305)  2024-01-24T03:01Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Guys how do I make friends in a new city in my 30s I dont want to talk to anyone meet anyone in person or do anything new"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1750020397599481965)  2024-01-24T04:59Z [----] followers, 140.9K engagements


"Did you know the [--] Hands vineyard owned by the eponymous Mr. Hands produces the most wine in this state Google mr hands washington for more info"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1750224742282617167)  2024-01-24T18:31Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@plemy11 Joe Biden is begging you all to stop being virgins"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1750246899595215007)  2024-01-24T19:59Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Were over sports teams. Were over celebrities. Which ancient river valley civilization do you stan"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1750355680828244431)  2024-01-25T03:11Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"It hardly feels like January anymore"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1750949068577341463)  2024-01-26T18:29Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Right after I got my car back from the shop someone hit it while it was parked and drove off So this month I've had my door caved in by maintenance men the frame dented and windshield shattered by a tree and the bumper wrecked by a mysterious bad actor Theyre replacing the door they destroyed today. Will they fix my car or will they smash it into a trillion pieces on accident Well find out after this l*ndy w*lk https://t.co/ztOdehuo7X Theyre replacing the door they destroyed today. Will they fix my car or will they smash it into a trillion pieces on accident Well find out after this l*ndy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751077491291344941)  2024-01-27T02:59Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"As a political compromise while I do still believe the United States should invade and subjugate Canada we can sculpt the mountains of Banff into the likenesses of Barack and Michelle Obama"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751134033130791309)  2024-01-27T06:44Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@gaslightyourmom Impersonators are a Boomer thing. You don't see a lot of people impersonating Drake or Ice Spice"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751464440179143049)  2024-01-28T04:37Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Thinking about a racist guy who shows up in Los Angeles and gets upset when he sees black people because he thought they had an n-less summer"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751469041129279645)  2024-01-28T04:55Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Jobs Ive had in order -Space cowboy -Gangster of love -Maurice -Picker -Grinner -Lover -Sinner -Joker -Smoker -Midnight toker"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751827486214902053)  2024-01-29T04:39Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"These maps were the most interesting things I found today"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1751832895411646725)  2024-01-29T05:01Z [----] followers, 2.8M engagements


"@AAfarensisHXR @CatOrman1 The mammal diversity map is pretty surprising. I think there's less competition against mammals in the West and colder weather. The SE corner of AZ has Neotropical species like coatis and jaguars Trees on the plains are limited to Ponderosa pine cottonwoods and the like"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1751852370412306517)  2024-01-29T06:18Z [----] followers, 36.4K engagements


"@feldspathic @AAfarensisHXR @CatOrman1 This explanation seems most correct"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1752038509668446445)  2024-01-29T18:38Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Biologists at Brandeis University have found that you can't hear an enzyme but you can make a hormone"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1752781167240368284)  2024-01-31T19:49Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Guys need more holes. Can we all agree on this"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1753134831410831489)  2024-02-01T19:14Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"@MrBurnsHatesU This is that contraption that killed Shinzo Abe"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1753139326995808659)  2024-02-01T19:32Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@Samtanic_Panic Imagine me saying in the flattest tone of voice possible that I am more than familiar with that Type of person"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1753501631847829666)  2024-02-02T19:32Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"I told my physicist girlfriend today Im breaking up with her. Her reaction was highly nonlinear"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1753951628032455041)  2024-02-04T01:20Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"We need more gnostic atheist country music. Imagine Zach Bryan going on the There Is No God tour. Imagine Luke Combs releasing the top single Aint No Bible in My Town"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754009988014452972)  2024-02-04T05:12Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Want to go to a banana stand Down the road theres Bobo Bonobos Bananas. Lets check the reviews on Screech Hmmm not good. Charlie Chimpanzee writes Very bad bad banana not good banana. Even wire mother have better banana"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754031471600230606)  2024-02-04T06:37Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@MrBurnsHatesU This is where they hid Saddam Hussein"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754043956369752556)  2024-02-04T07:27Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@Hellachans Its not gay to feel the way you do when Zach Bryan is playing"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754049275133088229)  2024-02-04T07:48Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"Rate my home library"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754405646659920236)  2024-02-05T07:24Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"What was the incident in your cell block"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754721690670739678)  2024-02-06T04:20Z [----] followers, [----] engagements


"@iamaheron_ Its okay I also got laid off at Docusign for being the guy who replaces the signatures with little smiley faces as a prank"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1754971084292845627)  2024-02-06T20:51Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"Looking forward to the AI-generated cover of Fast Car sung by Paul Walker"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1755138150073340250)  2024-02-07T07:55Z [----] followers, [---] engagements


"@dissproportion This is what happens when you forget where you leave your Halloween candy as a child"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1755906486054887736)  2024-02-09T10:48Z [----] followers, [--] engagements


"@murderbirv Congrats on the banger"  
[X Link](https://x.com/slurplebrained/status/1756022562734375288)  2024-02-09T18:29Z [----] followers, [--] engagements

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