# ![@carryonkeith Avatar](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:26/cr:twitter::1702593014.png) @carryonkeith Keith Burge

Keith Burge posts on X about money, prime minister, london, inflation the most. They currently have [------] followers and [---] posts still getting attention that total [-------] engagements in the last [--] hours.

### Engagements: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::1702593014/interactions)
![Engagements Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1702593014/c:line/m:interactions.svg)

- [--] Week [-------] +250%
- [--] Month [-------] -1.60%
- [--] Months [---------] +191%
- [--] Year [---------] -75%

### Mentions: [--] [#](/creator/twitter::1702593014/posts_active)
![Mentions Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1702593014/c:line/m:posts_active.svg)

- [--] Month [--] -54%
- [--] Months [---] +136%
- [--] Year [---] -59%

### Followers: [------] [#](/creator/twitter::1702593014/followers)
![Followers Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1702593014/c:line/m:followers.svg)

- [--] Week [------] +0.19%
- [--] Month [------] +0.08%
- [--] Months [------] +0.06%
- [--] Year [------] -1.80%

### CreatorRank: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::1702593014/influencer_rank)
![CreatorRank Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1702593014/c:line/m:influencer_rank.svg)

### Social Influence

**Social category influence**
[finance](/list/finance)  [countries](/list/countries)  [travel destinations](/list/travel-destinations)  [celebrities](/list/celebrities)  [technology brands](/list/technology-brands)  [social networks](/list/social-networks)  [us election](/list/us-election)  [stocks](/list/stocks)  [automotive brands](/list/automotive-brands)  [luxury brands](/list/luxury-brands) 

**Social topic influence**
[money](/topic/money), [prime minister](/topic/prime-minister), [london](/topic/london), [inflation](/topic/inflation), [rwanda](/topic/rwanda), [if you](/topic/if-you), [insurance](/topic/insurance), [donald trump](/topic/donald-trump), [i dont](/topic/i-dont), [has been](/topic/has-been)

**Top assets mentioned**
[Tesla, Inc. (TSLA)](/topic/tesla)
### Top Social Posts
Top posts by engagements in the last [--] hours

"A man was walking from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was attacked by robbers and left half-dead on the side of the road. The first two passers by ignored him. The third was Nadhim Zahawi. Who ran straight into a radio studio to slag him off"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/2022620155755528204)  2026-02-14T10:33Z 32.2K followers, 38.9K engagements


"@marcogiann [--]. The EU remains the UK's biggest single market by far [--]. EU membership is not a constraint on UK firms wanting to export to the rest of the world [--]. Trade deals negotiated via the EU have facilitated international trade [--]. British business is best served by staying in the EU"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1180430201731403776)  2019-10-05T10:31Z 32.2K followers, [--] engagements


"Could Lord Frost not negotiate an agreement with the Taliban"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1427386221953757184)  2021-08-16T21:46Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"At [--] I remember gathering every beer mat in the pub stacking them on the edge of a table flipping them and catching them without dropping one. In your face Raducanu"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1436956122099879936)  2021-09-12T07:33Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"Pre-race haircut @thamesring250"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1781678280438919276)  2024-04-20T13:36Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Be still my beating heart Six years ago. #Salop. Six years ago. #Salop"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1787708440518721935)  2024-05-07T04:58Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"If they had concerns they should have expressed them at the Ballot Box. If they did vote for parties that shared their views then they lost. Resoundingly. These riots are an attempt to undermine democracy and specifically a Labour Government"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1819622846504620264)  2024-08-03T06:34Z 32.2K followers, 232.9K engagements


"As a favour to the @salopcast crew I've dug out the thesaurus so they didn't have to: abominable alarming appalling atrocious awful bad dire distressing frightful ghastly grievous grim hideous horrendous horrific lousy monstrous rotten shameful shocking shocking terrible"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1954579817665339430)  2025-08-10T16:25Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Tax increases are on the way. If you voted for Brexit please do not complain; it was an inevitable consequence"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1978422574238269755)  2025-10-15T11:27Z 32.2K followers, 81.8K engagements


"In fairness to Trump its easy to confuse Greenland and Iceland. I once spent three hours looking for rare earth minerals in the freezer section"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2014317708800614875)  2026-01-22T12:42Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Actually I dont think Trump referring to Iceland was a mistake. The Chinese have already started to take over. Where the crispy pancakes used to be youll now find frozen chow mein"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2014318684626403672)  2026-01-22T12:46Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Well that was mildly frustrating #salop"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2016265491229143304)  2026-01-27T21:42Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"Tom Sang seems to think he's David Beckham when he's barely Brooklyn. #salop"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2016265782620016738)  2026-01-27T21:43Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"@salopcast Beat me to it"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2016976233104396515)  2026-01-29T20:46Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"Thanks so much to everyone who has donated so far - I've just passed the [----] mark http://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge http://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2017198521737191913)  2026-01-30T11:29Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"@JamesPlaceUK - which provides urgent life-saving support to men in suicidal crisis - gave me two options: run two marathons a day for [--] days or sit through a screening of 'Melania'. I've never been so happy to put on my running shoes. http://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge http://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2017539045555896491)  2026-01-31T10:02Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"Musk is defined as: "a strong-smelling reddish-brown substance". Right now I'm smelling mainly brown"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2017539616014803162)  2026-01-31T10:05Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"A highly respected journalist speaks. But will the authorities listen (and act) EXCL: A churchwarden from Potters Bar who works for family of ultra-secretive Kazakhstan-born billionaire is man behind 200K of donations to Reform UK John Bill Simpson would not discuss the source of funds when reached by phone last week https://t.co/w256CLjDqu EXCL: A churchwarden from Potters Bar who works for family of ultra-secretive Kazakhstan-born billionaire is man behind 200K of donations to Reform UK John Bill Simpson would not discuss the source of funds when reached by phone last week"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2017862833908707761)  2026-02-01T07:29Z 32.2K followers, 19.6K engagements


"I'd like to congratulate BBC Breakfast for broadcasting an extended piece on the latest release of Epstein files without ever mentioning the word 'Trump'. Well done"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2018234636648800325)  2026-02-02T08:06Z 32.1K followers, 41.9K engagements


"I think Tom Sangs dad would be better employed telling his son that hes grounded for the rest of the season. #salop Dont worry lads Tom Sangs dad is trying to find the club a buyer. #salop Dont worry lads Tom Sangs dad is trying to find the club a buyer. #salop"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2020191506846318710)  2026-02-07T17:42Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"It's a naive thought I know but I was under the impression that in a democracy the Prime Minister was not appointed (or fired) by the right wing media (within which I now have to include BBC News). For all of Starmer's shortcomings the current frenzy is rather pathetic"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2020940859378716984)  2026-02-09T19:20Z 32.2K followers, 44.2K engagements


"Oh bad luck BBC There you are coming live from Downing Street in the hope and expectation that the PM would have resigned by now but as it is you're left trying desperately to further ramp up the speculation. Ah well never mind"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2021129321767637339)  2026-02-10T07:49Z 32.2K followers, 16.7K engagements


"@trotter_alex @Mike50552313 Also untrue"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2021171481216991557)  2026-02-10T10:36Z 32.2K followers, [--] engagements


"@RuytonShrew Good work Thomas. Can we crowdfund him to be the mascot for the rest of the season"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2021487189864161559)  2026-02-11T07:31Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


"Colonised by immigrants you say Well yes. Angles Saxons Jutes Romans Vikings Normans"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/2021845156580798723)  2026-02-12T07:13Z 32.2K followers, 11.5K engagements


"@Footinit @DyeWorksPrint Yes you just need everything but the curl"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2022324667394953661)  2026-02-13T14:59Z 32.2K followers, [--] engagements


"When running [--] marathons a day you could do with a bed for the night - and I'm still looking for ones as follows: Sat 25/4-Halesworth Sun 26/4-Reepham Mon 27/4-Ringstead Tue 28/4-Holbeach Fri 1/5 Bridlington Sun 3/5-Middlesbrough Help much appreciated https://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge https://www.justgiving.com/page/keith-burge-1000k-challenge"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/2021560151996870748)  2026-02-11T12:21Z 32.2K followers, [---] engagements


""I can't be bought. Unless it's 1.2m a year from GB News [------] for advertising gold bullion [----] for [--] days work a month for the Telegraph or [--] a shot for a Cameo video. Oh and free flights and accommodation paid for by billionaires. And possibly a house in Clacton.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/2022242240698192221)  2026-02-13T09:31Z 32.2K followers, 78.7K engagements


"Nick Ferrari: "Do you feel safe in London" Nadhim Zahawi: "No.an individual walked past me.and I walked into the middle of the road." NF: "What was he doing" NZ: "He looked as if he hadn't slept for a week. he might have been reviewing my expenses. Or my tax return.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/2022599978581971215)  2026-02-14T09:13Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"I cannot believe this has more than [---] likes. There are more of us out there than Id realised. Happy Barkley Marathon Day to all those who celebrate it. Happy Barkley Marathon Day to all those who celebrate it"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/2022784712826065033)  2026-02-14T21:27Z 32.2K followers, 34.4K engagements


"But the real question is what is Vladimir Putin doing on the [-----] from Shifnal https://x.com/robbell1991/status/1005738750746464256 @WestMidRailway Is this what you call putting more trains on for @cosfordairshow . The [-----] from Shifnal is just two carriages and the [-----] is cancelled 😑😑 what a joke https://t.co/3HROVxvzjG https://x.com/robbell1991/status/1005738750746464256 @WestMidRailway Is this what you call putting more trains on for @cosfordairshow . The [-----] from Shifnal is just two carriages and the [-----] is cancelled 😑😑 what a joke https://t.co/3HROVxvzjG"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1005741367006556160)  2018-06-10T09:20Z 35.8K followers, [--] engagements


"Boris probably https://x.com/emmakennedy/status/1006918529302528000 https://x.com/emmakennedy/status/1006918529302528000"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1006959335010963457)  2018-06-13T17:59Z 32.4K followers, [--] engagements


"A plan: [--]. Remove Johnson as PM through a VONC. [--]. Vote on Corbyn as temporary PM. [--]. If he gets a majority fine if not vote for the top candidate from a list agreed by opposition parties in advance. [--]. Continue until new PM elected. [--]. Seek A50 extension. [--]. #PeoplesVote"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1181322783629946880)  2019-10-07T21:37Z 32.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I don't want politicians to cut Corporation Tax for my business or Income Tax or National Insurance for me. I want them to make sure everyone pays the tax they are supposed to and add a bit on for those that can most afford it. And use that extra cash to fund public services. Ta"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1197246460124975107)  2019-11-20T20:12Z 32.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Michael Gove on #Ridge saying how important it is to follow the advice of experts. With a straight face"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1244167209599012865)  2020-03-29T07:39Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Typically competing for a [-----] local authority contract involves a lengthy and rigorous procurement process. So how come central government can hand out contracts for hundreds of millions of pounds without regard to any due diligence"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1297062966072938505)  2020-08-22T06:48Z 33.7K followers, [----] engagements


""I go to Wetherspoons for its excellent menu.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1315664048940351488)  2020-10-12T14:42Z 32.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I dont care how good you are at anything. If you dont pay income tax in the UK you shouldnt get a knighthood"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1328103721448910860)  2020-11-15T22:32Z 35.6K followers, [----] engagements


"My experience of workplace bullies is that they are all sweetness and light to those whose support they feel they might need whilst simultaneously being absolute shits to their victims. The former seems to be an insurance in case the latter is challenged"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1329695399880364034)  2020-11-20T07:57Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"My Day at the Brexit Festival: [----] Registration [-----] Mid-morning snack (fish) [-----] Resume registration [-----] Lunch (fish) [-----] Unicorn hunt [-----] Vegetable picking [-----] Afternoon tea (fish) [-----] Passport polishing [-----] Foraging [-----] Dinner (fish) [-----] Lights out"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1332985713101508608)  2020-11-29T09:52Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Congratulations to Danny Boyle for choreographing such an amazing opening ceremony for the Brexit Festival. Inspirational"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1341081991073161217)  2020-12-21T18:03Z 33.5K followers, 27.9K engagements


"How far our society has come. We have eliminated the need for airing cupboards only to create demand for heated clothes horses"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1388039143058509825)  2021-04-30T07:54Z 32.4K followers, [---] engagements


"Woah he has a personal trainer Rumours swirled in Westminster last week that Johnson's nanny and personal trainer have been funded by donors No [--] denies them on the record. 'The PM has personally paid for all childcare and his personal trainer' But the scrutiny is not going away Rumours swirled in Westminster last week that Johnson's nanny and personal trainer have been funded by donors No [--] denies them on the record. 'The PM has personally paid for all childcare and his personal trainer' But the scrutiny is not going away"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1388603256927145990)  2021-05-01T21:16Z 32.4K followers, [---] engagements


"Johnson lives rent free at Downing St and Chequers. He's had help paying grocery bills decorating costs and holiday expenses and yet says he needs [------] a year - nearly twice what he gets paid - just to get by. What on earth is he spending his money on"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1396369986025832449)  2021-05-23T07:38Z 33.7K followers, 12.8K engagements


"What do you do when you cant control a pandemic and opt to let it rip instead Charge for tests (so fewer people are aware they are infected) and tweak the tracing app (so fewer people know theyve been exposed to infection). Its assisted suicide on an industrial scale"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1413384998984486913)  2021-07-09T06:30Z 33.9K followers, [----] engagements


"We send 350m a week to the EU - lie We'll give that money to the NHS - lie Turkey is joining the EU (and you don't want all those muslims arriving) - lie There's going to be an EU army - lie We'll still be in the Single Market - lie We'll easily get a great trade deal - lie"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1417790668051820544)  2021-07-21T10:16Z 33.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Brexit Britain: "I'd like to buy a pound of apples a pound of bananas and [--] ounces of grapes please." "I'm terribly sorry but we're completely out of fresh fruit.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1438563162979188738)  2021-09-16T17:59Z 35.8K followers, 31.1K engagements


"I wonder what the verdict would have been had a young black man gone along to a far right rally taking an assault rifle and shooting two people dead"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1461958719588208641)  2021-11-20T07:24Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"The extent of fraud under the Governments Bounce Bank Loan scheme has cost taxpayers [--] billion. How is it that no blame is being attached to the Chancellor for such staggering incompetence"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1466664863065726976)  2021-12-03T07:05Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"The Government proclaims it is to bring back pints of champagne (and wine). Does this not require the producers to procure new types of bottle and change their production lines Just for UK consumers. Sounds expensive to me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1474265938748923915)  2021-12-24T06:29Z 32.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Sue Gray is not Columbo; she is a skilled civil servant. She will craft a report that covers everything but says next to nothing. Expect references to no concrete evidence Johnson having been (at most) unwise and inappropriate behaviour amongst civil servants"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1481897470745616386)  2022-01-14T07:54Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Its a wonder Angela Rayner can concentrate being sat opposite Boris Johnson as he crosses his legs and ruffles his hair"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1518114261930754048)  2022-04-24T06:26Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"I reckon Prime Ministers who miss Cobra meetings without very good reason should be fined [-----]. And there should also be charges for misleading Parliament in a bid to save the country. Rachel Johnson says those who miss GP appointments should be fined [--] and there should be charges for visiting A&E in a bid to save the NHS. @RachelSJohnson https://t.co/DGdq4FSj2b Rachel Johnson says those who miss GP appointments should be fined [--] and there should be charges for visiting A&E in a bid to save the NHS. @RachelSJohnson https://t.co/DGdq4FSj2b"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1554039834393681920)  2022-08-01T09:42Z 33.8K followers, [----] engagements


"I understand that this years John Lewis advert features a family who are evicted when they cant pay their bills forcing them to trudge the streets in search of warmth. But all ends well when they get to spend Christmas in Nadhim Zahawis stables"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1563418997995225088)  2022-08-27T06:51Z 34.7K followers, 18.8K engagements


"In my meaningless quest to run [----] miles this year as at the end of September I am now up to [----]. Now would not be the time to get injured"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1575915053106139137)  2022-09-30T18:26Z 35.8K followers, [---] engagements


"When you own your own home you don't care about mortgage rates. When your kids go to Eton you don't care about cuts to education. When you're not reliant on the State Pension you don't care about the Triple Lock"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1576138446409646081)  2022-10-01T09:14Z 33.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Lee works for us. He's not single (shocker) & earns more than 80k rents a hotel room in Central London at our expense spends hundreds of pounds a month on travelling to work at our expense and slags people off for using foodbanks. Lee makes no point at all"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1616347818389819393)  2023-01-20T08:12Z 33.9K followers, 1.3M engagements


"e.g. [--]. If you don't take out insurance against higher interest rates how much will you cost the taxpayer [--]. If you don't put in place anti-fraud measures how much will you lose in furlough payments/bounceback loans [--]. If you attend an illegal gathering how much is the fine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1647855667770806272)  2023-04-17T06:53Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"It has been suggested that 93% of communication comes in the form of body language"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1662393516448727041)  2023-05-27T09:41Z 33.7K followers, 374.3K engagements


""You see Dougal if you deprive public services of resources and underfund health and social care it actually makes you better prepared to deal with a pandemic.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1671423818462633984)  2023-06-21T07:44Z 32.5K followers, 10.5K engagements


"Now I don't pretend to be an expert on facial expressions or body language but I get the impression that this audience is not wholly convinced. Look at each and every one"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1671912173432365058)  2023-06-22T16:04Z 33.7K followers, 480.8K engagements


"The Downing Street press office has done an amazing job here. Not only have they rounded up NHS staff willing to take part in this selfie but found people who are shorter than Sunak. Must have taken them ages"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1676595912901099523)  2023-07-10T10:34Z 35.3K followers, 24.9K engagements


""And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass and took the five loaves and the two fishes and looking up to heaven he blessed and brake and gave the loaves to his disciples and said: 'see they don't need food banks'.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1676851680598474752)  2023-07-06T19:25Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"100 million a day"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1677615305789415425)  2023-07-08T09:57Z [--] followers, [----] engagements


"The Government criticises the BBC over allegations relating to [--] of its [-----] employees and yet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1678305890741436417)  2023-07-10T08:39Z 35.3K followers, 45.7K engagements


"People who live in glass houses shouldn't pull the trigger on an AK-47. https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1789369/lee-anderson-bbc-perverts-licence-fee-scrapped-tory-mps https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1789369/lee-anderson-bbc-perverts-licence-fee-scrapped-tory-mps"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1678442355370729484)  2023-07-10T16:33Z 35.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Its just a thought but could he not have handed over his old phone before the deadline and left it to the Inquiry to sort out turning it on safely"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1678483531415027713)  2023-07-10T19:31Z 34.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Today is a special day. I have the honour of accompanying Andrea Jenkyns to a memorial service celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1678640454059933697)  2023-07-11T06:38Z 35.3K followers, 216.6K engagements


"Update: tried shouting across a crowded cafe to ask Andrea how many sugars she wanted in her frothy mug. She clearly signalled she'd like one and then complained it was too sweet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1678706281673027586)  2023-07-11T10:59Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Ben Wallace is correct: we are not Amazon. If we were we would have suggested to Ukraine that they might also like some fighter jets"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1679163103903113216)  2023-07-12T17:15Z 35.3K followers, 27.4K engagements


"I have absolutely no interest in the rumoured private life of someone with serious mental health issues. If theres any perversion its the medias obsession with this story"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1679244629072400385)  2023-07-12T21:56Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"So no more studying degrees that lead to people getting jobs with rubbish pay And there was me thinking we needed more social workers nurses teachers"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1680992953026727936)  2023-07-18T07:55Z 34.9K followers, [----] engagements


"If only the Government had pursued suppliers of dodgy PPE with the same vigour with which it hounded the Chief Executive of a bank who didnt put anybodys life at risk"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1684071865847885828)  2023-08-03T19:04Z 34.9K followers, 96.8K engagements


"I would ask Nigel Farage to resign but I dont think hes actually got a job"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1684113921291198464)  2023-07-26T08:10Z 36.5K followers, 104.9K engagements


"No I dont expect asylum seekers to be housed in [--] star hotels nor do they I suspect. I do expect them to be housed in safe clean accommodation for the relatively short time it should take to process their claim"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1688825894167613440)  2023-08-08T08:14Z 35.3K followers, 76.6K engagements


"Predictably I got a lot of stick for the below with some correspondents wondering why we should safely accommodate asylum seekers when British people are sleeping on the streets Well guess what It doesn't have to be either/or"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1689665836305301505)  2023-08-10T15:51Z 34.6K followers, 10.6K engagements


"You ungrateful bastards. https://www.itv.com/news/2023-08-16/rishi-sunak-i-am-hurting-myself-to-help-you https://www.itv.com/news/2023-08-16/rishi-sunak-i-am-hurting-myself-to-help-you"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1692116310514094272)  2023-08-17T10:09Z 35.6K followers, 109.1K engagements


"Im confused. Is he talking about sewage discharge or Nigel Farage"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1693169559383974040)  2023-08-20T07:54Z 34.9K followers, [----] engagements


"There must be some days when Boris Johnson is actually quite pleased to no longer be Prime Minister. Such as when he doesn't have to put on an England shirt and pretend to like football"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1693195058491560420)  2023-08-20T09:35Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


""Just cancel the reception. Tell them I'm on a plane to Slough.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1693344762399490559)  2023-08-20T19:30Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Amidst all of the World Cup hoopla I hope the back pages give full credit to Katarina Johnson-Thompson's amazing achievement. So near So far"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1693346590482739234)  2023-08-20T19:37Z 35.9K followers, [----] engagements


"Mr Tice also explained that local flooding was due to people leaving a tap on"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1693515725531430982)  2023-08-21T06:49Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"For those not inclined to read Nadine Dorries' resignation letter in full let me paraphrase: Dear Prime Minister WAH WAH WAH. IT'S NOT FAIR IHATE YOU I have a book coming out. No love Nadine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1695516098186113116)  2023-08-26T19:18Z 35.8K followers, 53.4K engagements


"Boris Johnsons application to become the new Head of the Spanish FA has been rejected after he failed to meet their standards on competence and morality"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1695710902396268781)  2023-08-27T08:12Z 35.3K followers, 12.3K engagements


"New Tory Five Point Plan: [--]. Investigate crime. [--]. Put out fires. [--]. Teach children. [--]. Collect taxes. From some people. [--]. Treat sick peop. actually can we scrub that"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1696440117865378240)  2023-08-29T08:30Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Do ULEZ charges apply to Sunak's helicopter Could end up costing a fortune"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1696532695650877460)  2023-08-29T14:38Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"An idiot writes @carryonkeith Show the left work elite have infested once respected organisations. Because the RSPB prefer to play politics than protect birds they will lose public support & people who fund them. This is not the language any organisation who relies on public support should be using. @carryonkeith Show the left work elite have infested once respected organisations. Because the RSPB prefer to play politics than protect birds they will lose public support & people who fund them. This is not the language any organisation who relies on public support should be using"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1696994879958642858)  2023-08-30T21:14Z 35.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Under the Slave Compensation Act [----] her ancestor shared compensation of more than [-----] for the slaves he co-owned the equivalent of more than 5m today. That wealth helped to pay for her private education and the estates her family still owns"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1697206919742525850)  2023-08-31T11:17Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"The hard core of Shrewsbury away supporters has barely changed over the years and these individuals remain instantly recognisable. BUT MY GOD THEY LOOK OLD (And yes of course Im in denial.)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1697967690273403034)  2023-09-02T13:40Z 34.8K followers, [---] engagements


"Breaking: in order to deliver on his five pledges Rishi Sunak is bringing forward concrete proposals"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698257995547775485)  2023-09-03T08:53Z 35.3K followers, 11K engagements


"So the Government will be spending whatever it takes to make public buildings safe. I imagine there are Tory donor construction companies rubbing their hands together right now"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698310058604372282)  2023-09-03T12:20Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


""We will do whatever it takes to make schools safe. Selling off more playing fields sacking teachers cutting the pay of support staff whatever.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698612843007058189)  2023-09-04T08:23Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


""Hi Gillian I'm calling from Mone School Construction.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698630170121208259)  2023-09-04T09:32Z 35.3K followers, 295.2K engagements


"I don't know about you but I love those first day of term pictures"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698636060870291618)  2023-09-04T09:56Z 35.3K followers, 81.3K engagements


"What I've learnt today is that we are blaming the Prime Minister for things that aren't his fault and failing to give due credit to the Education Secretary for her amazing achievements. I feel embarrassed and so should you"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698695634621001918)  2023-09-04T13:52Z 34.7K followers, 131.8K engagements


"Sunaks defence against the allegation that he cut the school rebuilding programme to [--] a year is that he introduced a programme to rebuild [---] schools over [--] years. Those extra maths lessons hes introducing cant come soon enough"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698939641968066772)  2023-09-05T06:02Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


""I used to get up in the morning half an hour before I went to bed Eat a lump of freezing cold poison work [--] hours a day at mill and pay the mill owner to let us work there. You try and tell that to voters today and they won't f***king believe you.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1698992602878493166)  2023-09-05T09:32Z 34.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Most schools won't collapse Most people won't die from Covid Or austerity Most people won't lose their homes as a result of Tory policies Most people won't get ill by swimming in the sea Most people eligible to vote will be allowed to do so #WokeLeftieSnowflakes"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699022391316283643)  2023-09-05T11:31Z 35.3K followers, 71.7K engagements


"Yes but it's not his fault and er oh look at that small boat"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699035230479290508)  2023-09-05T12:22Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"But she caught me letting boats in (it wasn't me) Saw me helping to spread Covid (it wasn't me) I lost [--] bill to fraudsters (it wasn't me) She even caught me cut school budgets (it wasn't me)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699049356681256976)  2023-09-05T13:18Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I am indebted to the dozens of people telling me to never again post a sarcastic/ironic/satirical tweet on the grounds it could be misinterpreted as sincere. Mistakenly I thought that is precisely what might make it funny/impactful. As it is it seems I am wrong (yet again)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699326230674264292)  2023-09-06T07:38Z 35.8K followers, [--] engagements


"Re-joining something we should never have left is hardly a cause for celebration. The fact that it is being celebrated speaks volumes for how desperate things have become. #Horizon"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699694299917521252)  2023-09-07T08:01Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"So if this agreement "unlocks thousands more jobs" is that not an admission that leaving the EU and participation in its various programmes destroyed thousands of jobs (And is continuing to do so)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1699698623880040699)  2023-09-07T08:18Z 34.3K followers, 27.9K engagements


"I know there are a lot of Tory MPs presenting programmes on GB News but I wouldnt call them an army"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700410089323065752)  2023-09-09T07:25Z 35.3K followers, 15.5K engagements


"Today (most of) my old school football team reconvenes in Shrewsbury to re-live past glories exaggerate how good some of us were and most importantly forget how old we now are. It will be messy and glorious. See you next year @johnarwelgriff"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700413994358419778)  2023-09-09T07:41Z 34.7K followers, [---] engagements


"When Sunak is removed from office I hope his colleagues have the good grace to buy him a leaving present with some practical use for for the next phase of his life. Like vouchers for his local Walmart"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700420892096913903)  2023-09-09T08:08Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Fancy Todays FT Weekend. https://t.co/VafFoQOJNI Todays FT Weekend. https://t.co/VafFoQOJNI"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700422320098058663)  2023-09-09T08:14Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Im not sure that Rishi Sunak downing three cans of Monster immediately before doing tv interviews is such a good idea"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700426828316287414)  2023-09-09T08:32Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Any 5-a-side team anywhere in the world. Were taking you on. Provided youre all over 50"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700531015737864548)  2023-09-09T15:26Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"If Benefits have been calculated on the basis that they provide the minimum level of income that will enable recipients to survive then failing to increase them by the rate of inflation will take recipients below that level. And there will be consequences"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1700810206895055174)  2023-09-10T09:55Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Novak Djokovic is the best male tennis player of all time. He is also an insufferable prick. Both of these things can be true"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1701114546486673697)  2023-09-11T06:04Z 34.3K followers, 28.2K engagements


"The next time you cant see a doctor remember NHS under-funding. The next time your kids cant go to school remember the Tories cancelled the Building Schools for the Future programme. The next time your train doesnt turn up remember the Tories privatised the service"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1701839653643431971)  2023-09-13T06:06Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"Its a bit like the time I said to Tyson Fury: look mate I dont want a fight"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702039912608850026)  2023-09-13T19:21Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Starmer and Labour (and the Greens and others) just voted to stop the taxpayer having to pick up the tab for the environmental damage caused by (often Tory donor) house builders. Youre welcome"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702045141941284977)  2023-09-13T19:42Z 34.9K followers, [----] engagements


""I've heard too many accounts from victims where police simply haven't acted on helpful leads. Criminals must have no place to hide.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702260758954815531)  2023-09-14T09:59Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Unfortunately Mick Jagger & Co won't be appearing. Because people in Glasshouses shouldn't show Stones. (I can only apologise)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702321947584127380)  2023-09-14T14:02Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements


"There can be few things more idiotic and infuriating than healthcare professionals fawning over Tory Prime Ministers as they take selfies with them"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702322984411861038)  2023-09-14T14:06Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"When you're trying to get somewhere having climate protestors blocking your way must be very frustrating. But perhaps not as annoying as your car being washed away in a flood or indeed your house burning down in a wildfire"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1702652522396053573)  2023-09-15T11:56Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Look it wasn't her fault ok She was right and still is. Everyone else was wrong and still is. And anyone who doesn't understand that is really really stupid. Or part of the woke blob lefty liberal anti-Truss establishment. (Just to spare you having to listen to the speech)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1703723289967796628)  2023-09-18T10:51Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Remarkable speech by Truss. Reminds me of her salad days"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1703731859916476927)  2023-09-18T11:25Z 35.3K followers, 27K engagements


"Slashing government spending is not something to be proud of. #IffyTruss"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1703845247099326807)  2023-09-18T18:55Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements


""And I would have got away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky bond markets.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1704083764828066189)  2023-09-19T10:43Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Then try funding them adequately"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1704210204626202663)  2023-09-19T19:05Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Failing to address the climate crisis will cost more money than will be saved by putting off addressing the climate crisis. Oh and people will die"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1704402545970409720)  2023-09-20T07:50Z 35.3K followers, [---] engagements


"Rishi's [--] favourite films: The Magnificent Seven Bins The Seven Bin Itch Seven Bins in Tibet The Seventh Voyage of Binbag The Seventh Wheel(ie bin) Snow White and the Seven Bins Seven Bins for Seven Voters #7Bins"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1704762452368310734)  2023-09-21T07:40Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"No burger tax and no more bins No railway tracks no car sharin' We're alright you're all poor We'll cut spending more and more God Bless Tufton Street"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1704875895977037913)  2023-09-21T15:11Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Well one of the issues is people not paying their fair whack of tax when asked to do so depriving public services of much needed resources. I am riding throught Bethnal Green Road in Hackney my old Manor. I am shocked at the stock pile of garbage that is all over the pavements. It is not days of stuff it looks like weeks . What is going on I am riding throught Bethnal Green Road in Hackney my old Manor. I am shocked at the stock pile of garbage that is all over the pavements. It is not days of stuff it looks like weeks . What is going on"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1706282199509594483)  2023-09-25T12:19Z 35.8K followers, 37.7K engagements


"Suella Braverman has many stupid ideas one of which is the thought that she could actually be Prime Minister. Just imagine. Actually don't. It'll hurt your head"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1706641803288392160)  2023-09-26T12:08Z 35.6K followers, [----] engagements


"I was born in the UK to a foreign born mother. I hope that the 1million+ Ive paid in all forms of taxation and the income tax and NI paid by the hundreds of people Ive employed over the years helped to magic my secondary school place"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1706906110853279814)  2023-09-27T05:38Z 35.3K followers, 18.9K engagements


"Dan Wootton: "I was in no way amused by the comments.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1706994562525220956)  2023-09-27T11:29Z 35.9K followers, [----] engagements


""And next on GB News we hear from women who wouldn't shag Laurence Fox.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1707025740686901711)  2023-09-27T13:33Z 35.8K followers, 34.7K engagements


"Withing [--] hours the Govt announced both that developers won't now be required to fund compensatory measures for destroying natural habitats and that consent has been granted for a new North Sea oil & gas field. It's almost as if they couldn't give a shit about the environment"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1707041179123007532)  2023-09-27T14:35Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I think it fair to say that the only 20mph restriction that Sunak is prepared to tolerate is on the railway line between Birmingham and Manchester"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708006314243195068)  2023-09-30T06:30Z 35.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Tories release video of Kier Starmer demonstrating his anti-motorist policy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708537124050342132)  2023-10-01T17:39Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@InTheStiffs @SAiston I was there when Mirandinha wore gloves for the first time Came out for the 2nd half wearing them in a match at SJP against Shrewsbury in the Simod Cup one very cold Tuesday or Wednesday night in November '87. We lost 2-1 AET. Gazza played quite well"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708563675399733458)  2023-10-01T19:24Z 35.3K followers, [---] engagements


"Perhaps having 'spades in the ground' is the problem with HS2 Surely mechanical diggers would be more cost-effective"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708565421861765545)  2023-10-01T19:31Z 35.8K followers, 10.9K engagements


"Just imagine ordering a Deliveroo and Prince Edward turning up at your door"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708722489679810804)  2023-10-02T05:56Z 34.7K followers, [----] engagements


"On the BBC yesterday Sunak claimed he instinctively understood what people wanted. Well not working class people"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708724000359166322)  2023-10-02T06:02Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I'm now expecting Jeremy Hunt to announce that in future all benefit claimants will be given a shovel and sent somewhere between Birmingham and Manchester"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708791803367825558)  2023-10-02T10:31Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Sunak announces new eco-friendly cross-Pennine transport project. "Yes we're all going to Hull in a handcart.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708848243063296452)  2023-10-02T14:15Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"There are now towns and cities across the UK fearing a visit from the Prime Minister given the not unrealistic expectation that he'd only be going there to cancel something"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1708932121551618076)  2023-10-02T19:49Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Dear Mother of God"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1709112842048176582)  2023-10-03T07:47Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Senior Tory backbencher can only be arsed to spend one day at his party's annual conference"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1709165832289370535)  2023-10-03T11:17Z 34.5K followers, [----] engagements


""Right lads we've got [--] billion to play with so let's fix this pothole and whatever's left we can use for tax cuts.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1709850436264428012)  2023-10-05T08:38Z 34.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@HughMally Sunday afternoon. If I get there"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1709913497604104452)  2023-10-05T12:48Z 35.3K followers, [--] engagements


"Apparently the Government plans to use some of the saved HS2 money to build something called the M1. It'll go all the way from Leeds to London What say you now naysayers"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1710217887867122052)  2023-10-06T08:58Z 35.6K followers, 14.8K engagements


"You can have all of the political debates you like across the full gamut of policy areas but the simple and inescapable truth is that Sunak is rubbish"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1710547769163653311)  2023-10-07T06:49Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Of course cancelling HS2 has no impact on your ability to get from London to Manchester by private jet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1710549605471981891)  2023-10-07T06:56Z 34.9K followers, [----] engagements


"The Labour Party is in the home straight. The plan now has to be a series of low/no cost (to ordinary taxpayers) cut through policies. And its made rather a good start"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1711095732223058327)  2023-10-08T19:06Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Hey @UKLabour I'm liking the Covid Corruption Commissioner. How about other Commissioners for: HS2 overspend; Lost WhatsApp Messages; and Especially Ridiculous Peerages"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1711362743561761124)  2023-10-09T12:47Z 35.3K followers, 25.7K engagements


"Apparently Sunaks five pledges are merely illustrative. He might stop some boats and hopes that factors beyond his control will reduce inflation"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1711451613431259429)  2023-10-09T18:40Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements


"The Tories know they are facing a landslide defeat. Their strategy now is to make life as difficult as possible for the incoming Labour Government via a series of scorched earth policies. And without a care for whoever else suffers in the process"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1712001018337144984)  2023-10-11T07:03Z 34.3K followers, 38.8K engagements


"Getting rid of Lee Anderson at the next General Election. Now that would be a national service"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1713795551928426690)  2023-10-16T05:54Z 35.3K followers, 108.5K engagements


"Those people @premierinn are such fools. Fancy offering someone an all you can eat breakfast buffet the morning after theyve run in an ultramarathon. I think I just knocked 5p off their share price"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1713823954060620205)  2023-10-16T07:47Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I cant believe Tory MP Peter Bone has been accused of bullying. He seems such a lovely bloke"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1713887471644111279)  2023-10-16T11:59Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I know the horse has bolted but wouldnt it have been nice if ownership of British football clubs had been restricted to people who pay income tax in Britain"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1713889086631461363)  2023-10-16T12:06Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Cricket in the Olympics How absolutely bloody ridiculous. See also football tennis and golf amongst others. Unless the Olympics is the pinnacle of your sport it shouldnt be included"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1713961364228563326)  2023-10-16T16:53Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"The cancellation of HS2 will now permit an upgrade of the A854 linking several of the [--] new hospitals and patrolled by [-----] new police officers along its entire length in order to prevent its use by small boats. And yet some people still arent happy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1714206411876339804)  2023-10-17T09:07Z 34.3K followers, 57K engagements


"Imagine going to vote this Thursday and deciding: You know what I think Ill give the Conservatives another go"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1714229919171990003)  2023-10-17T10:40Z 34.3K followers, 358K engagements


"Nadine Dorries doesnt even deserve her current title being neither right nor honourable"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1715641936621514915)  2023-10-21T08:11Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Bobby Charlton's last ever performance was at Gay Meadow in October [----]. He played the first half for Shrewsbury and the second half for Zambia #RIPBobby"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1715775606640497095)  2023-10-21T17:02Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Remember when completing your Self Assessment you can opt to send any monies owing either in full to HMRC or at a [--] per cent discount to the Conservative Party"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1716413086020575361)  2023-10-23T11:15Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Dont be fooled: what Steve Baker is really saying is that any vote to rejoin the EU should require a supermajority"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1716700884791411043)  2023-10-24T06:19Z 34.3K followers, 107.1K engagements


"After rent and utilities this bloke lives off [--] a day. That's for food clothes toiletries and washing his clothes. [--] a day. What an absolute disgrace this country is under the Tories"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1716918622860480974)  2023-10-24T20:44Z 34.3K followers, 41.7K engagements


""And now it's time for the Sick Ol' Cock News.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1717944315329089749)  2023-10-27T16:40Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Dominic Cumming's description of Boris Johnson as being like a supermarket trolley is so inaccurate. Supermarket trollies can serve a useful purpose are incapable of being full of shit and always give you your money back"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1718944303316185480)  2023-10-30T10:53Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I don't know why these witnesses at the Inquiry who can't remember things don't just blame Long Covid"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719001535282090274)  2023-10-30T14:41Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


""So Mr Reynolds can you really not recall why it was that you fed all of those potentially embarrassing documents through the office shredder""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719004738132296101)  2023-10-30T14:54Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"The #CovidInquiry report may be some way off but its main conclusion is surely already evident: tens of thousands of people died because of the Government's incompetence hubris and greed"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719270107929608635)  2023-10-31T08:28Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"#CovidInquiry evidence seems to have drawn two sets of responses from many high profile journalists either: "I'm shocked" (which means you weren't doing your job properly); or "That's what I thought at the time" (but you didn't report it so didn't do your job properly)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719281499596365946)  2023-10-31T09:13Z 34.3K followers, 75.5K engagements


""We got the big calls right The big calls to NHS Procurement on behalf of Michelle Mone Lord Ashcroft Matt Hancock's publican mate.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719305847237394880)  2023-10-31T10:50Z 35.3K followers, 11.1K engagements


"With the tsunami of the Covid pandemic looming Johnson prioritised taking holiday to complete his book on Shakespeare (and avoid repaying his publishers advance) over showing leadership and acting to save the lives of British citizens. Because thats the kind of bloke he is"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719424492903047415)  2023-10-31T18:41Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Johnson suffers yet more unfounded criticism. He spent the whole of each lockdown drinking over-eating lying and shagging. The Covid crisis was in fact perfectly suited to his skills set"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719626064618508361)  2023-11-01T08:02Z 35.3K followers, [----] engagements


"At what point did we delegate to Dominic Cummings responsibility to choose our Prime Minister"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719631892566171683)  2023-11-01T08:26Z 34.3K followers, 10.9K engagements


""And if you want a cure for Covid: Hold a chicken in the air Stick a hairdryer up your nose Eat some donkey cheese And then rip off all your clothes Give your mates a bung And then wear a silly hat Lie right through your teeth And pretend your name is Matt""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1719746176927359042)  2023-11-01T16:00Z 34.7K followers, [----] engagements


"I think its pretty clear that Hancock decided it was people in care homes who should die. #CovidInquiry"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1720121577415524614)  2023-11-02T16:51Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"You wont know Tony Pender but I did. And he was one of the most remarkable people I have ever met as well as being my mentor and a great friend. Tonight I learnt of his passing yesterday and am devastated. 1/4"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1720222112416194596)  2023-11-02T23:31Z 34.3K followers, 10.1K engagements


"Reportedly the Govt plans to brand you extremist if you undermine UK values/institutions. So dont criticise the monarchy dont seek the abolition of the House of Lords and dont advocate independence from the UK amongst other things. Or there will be consequences"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1721078894344753603)  2023-11-05T08:15Z 34.3K followers, 22.9K engagements


"Paracetamol + ibuprofen + co-codamol + alcohol and I can still feel the pain of toothache"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1721256519067447791)  2023-11-05T20:01Z 34.3K followers, 36K engagements


"So adjusting for inflation thatll be a decline in exports then. And this Remainer is still here laughing at and despairing of you"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1721610778157949263)  2023-11-06T19:29Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Robin McAlpine Common Weal Think Tank: Last year [----] children in Scotland were taken to hospital by ambulance because of malnutrition. What an absolute disgrace. #IEDConf2023"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1721843972425834854)  2023-11-07T10:56Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I can confirm that I too would be perfectly willing to inject Boris Johnson with Covid live on TV. Provided I got to choose the size of the needle"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1721950347248218329)  2023-11-07T17:58Z 34.3K followers, 13.4K engagements


"I have every confidence in Suella Braverman. Becoming even more repugnant"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1722993844625584543)  2023-11-10T15:05Z 34.3K followers, [----] engagements


"The primary role of a Home Secretary is to keep people safe. So how is Suella Braverman allowed to say and do things that make people unsafe and still keep her job"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1723261486875717794)  2023-11-11T08:48Z 34.5K followers, 18K engagements


"Go on bring Truss back as well just for a laugh"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724015997370147081)  2023-11-13T10:46Z 34.5K followers, 26.6K engagements


""My first task is to try to achieve peace in the Middle East. I thought a referendum might settle it.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724018427998687484)  2023-11-13T10:56Z 34.6K followers, 150.3K engagements


""He's given who a seat in the Lords""  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724049296763285973)  2023-11-13T12:59Z 34.9K followers, 1.4M engagements


"Look if you don't like David Cameron as Foreign Secretary then at the next General Election you can vote him ou. oh"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724050836714655793)  2023-11-13T13:05Z 34.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Once upon a time Twitter used to send you a special hat if you got more than [-----] likes. But since @elonmusk took over the joint now all you get is a @Tesla"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724103164108947496)  2023-11-13T16:33Z 34.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Oh my God I hope shes not going to reveal that integrity transparency and accountability are a complete sham. Im not sure Id ever recover"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724410481920618520)  2023-11-14T12:54Z 34.5K followers, 18.5K engagements


"I think Id rank my surprise at the Supreme Courts decision on the Governments Rwanda plan somewhere between the disclosure of the Popes religion and the revelation of bears toilet habits"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1724859871118447018)  2023-11-15T18:40Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Passing emergency legislation doesnt make Rwanda any safer"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1725040478356193662)  2023-11-16T06:37Z 34.6K followers, 10.6K engagements


"Small point but in addition to breaches of international law the Supreme Court ruled that the Governments Rwanda plan broke five UK laws. Fancy"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1725047109877944610)  2023-11-16T07:04Z 34.6K followers, 39.4K engagements


"@pjcboro So easily it's embarrassing. Cheerio"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1725179164062331351)  2023-11-16T15:48Z 34.5K followers, [--] engagements


"Define 'refusing to work'. Will it include turning down a job that: - you cannot do/makes you ill due to a physical disability/a long-term physical health condition/a mental health condition - is on a zero hours contract - requires you to relocate at great expense"  
[X Link](https://x.com/carryonkeith/status/1725202713951039529)  2023-11-16T17:22Z 34.6K followers, [----] engagements

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