# ![@mariana057 Avatar](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:26/cr:twitter::15284799.png) @mariana057 mariana Z

mariana Z posts on X about if you, in the, so i, word the most. They currently have [-------] followers and [---] posts still getting attention that total [-------] engagements in the last [--] hours.

### Engagements: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::15284799/interactions)
![Engagements Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::15284799/c:line/m:interactions.svg)

- [--] Week [-------] -60%
- [--] Month [---------] -62%
- [--] Months [----------] +254%
- [--] Year [----------] +629%

### Mentions: [--] [#](/creator/twitter::15284799/posts_active)
![Mentions Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::15284799/c:line/m:posts_active.svg)

- [--] Week [--] -33%
- [--] Month [---] +13%
- [--] Months [---] +406%
- [--] Year [---] +33%

### Followers: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::15284799/followers)
![Followers Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::15284799/c:line/m:followers.svg)

- [--] Week [-------] +0.16%
- [--] Month [-------] +0.60%
- [--] Months [-------] +7.20%
- [--] Year [-------] +4.90%

### CreatorRank: [-------] [#](/creator/twitter::15284799/influencer_rank)
![CreatorRank Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::15284799/c:line/m:influencer_rank.svg)

### Social Influence

**Social category influence**
[countries](/list/countries)  3.4% [finance](/list/finance)  1.36% [celebrities](/list/celebrities)  1.36% [stocks](/list/stocks)  1.36% [technology brands](/list/technology-brands)  1.36% [products](/list/products)  1.36% [musicians](/list/musicians)  0.68% [social networks](/list/social-networks)  0.68%

**Social topic influence**
[if you](/topic/if-you) 8.16%, [in the](/topic/in-the) 6.12%, [so i](/topic/so-i) 3.4%, [word](/topic/word) 2.72%, [end of](/topic/end-of) 2.04%, [watch](/topic/watch) 2.04%, [how to](/topic/how-to) 2.04%, [night](/topic/night) 2.04%, [star](/topic/star) 2.04%, [bag](/topic/bag) 2.04%

**Top accounts mentioned or mentioned by**
[@dorian_aurora](/creator/undefined) [@scrotes3](/creator/undefined) [@dorianaurora](/creator/undefined) [@docatcdi](/creator/undefined) [@z_klaus_e](/creator/undefined) [@darrenjohnhill](/creator/undefined) [@magicmark9](/creator/undefined) [@mockking_j](/creator/undefined) [@blunt_always](/creator/undefined) [@neilgerardo](/creator/undefined) [@wildfirechris1](/creator/undefined) [@davey12string](/creator/undefined) [@born_in_54](/creator/undefined) [@bunkaih](/creator/undefined) [@skyyyprincess](/creator/undefined) [@jill13141567](/creator/undefined) [@onedarkseed](/creator/undefined) [@theliamnissan](/creator/undefined) [@juliuskim](/creator/undefined) [@mdmoore23](/creator/undefined)

**Top assets mentioned**
[Spotify Technology (SPOT)](/topic/$spot)
### Top Social Posts
Top posts by engagements in the last [--] hours

"A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2008515015834517862)  2026-01-06T12:24Z 106.4K followers, 621.4K engagements


"Step 1: Start a beer company named Responsibly. Step 2: Watch as every other beer company promotes you for free at the end of their commercials. Step 3: Enjoy the 💰💰💰"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019239755834425420)  2026-02-05T02:40Z 106.4K followers, 856.1K engagements


"Very friendly service"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022472973773607057)  2026-02-14T00:48Z 106.4K followers, 14K engagements


"My wife has just told me that shes going to leave me over my obsession with Wham. I said "Okay wake me up before you go go""  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022806263931793746)  2026-02-14T22:52Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Apparently this weekend there will be constant rane hale gails drissle thundre litnin hy tydes tawnaydoes and frizzing colde. Really bad spell of wether"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1993283165797208247)  2025-11-25T11:38Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: Built in Antenna. I dont even know where that is"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1996276878567498059)  2025-12-03T17:54Z 106.2K followers, 216.2K engagements


"Just helped my neighbor bury a rolled up carpet in the woods. Her boyfriend would've done it but he's out of town"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1997395723495580073)  2025-12-06T20:00Z 106.3K followers, 175.3K engagements


"Did you know if you lose a sock in the dryer it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2001727732879687895)  2025-12-18T18:54Z 106.2K followers, 494.6K engagements


"A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: - Jane ate her friend's sandwich. - Jane ate her friend's colon"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2005408412314808822)  2025-12-28T22:39Z 106.3K followers, 1.4M engagements


"I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your entire post is urined"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2008143516480983337)  2026-01-05T11:48Z 106.3K followers, 178.3K engagements


"Sing it with me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2010177042101469349)  2026-01-11T02:28Z 106.3K followers, 68.8K engagements


"Me: "Look. A flock of cows." Son: "Herd of cows." Me: "Of course I've heard of cows. There's a flock of them right there.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2014173381986267498)  2026-01-22T03:08Z 106.3K followers, 94.9K engagements


"The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an outstanding balance"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2015921581193613563)  2026-01-26T22:55Z 106.1K followers, 301.6K engagements


"So I think it's a disgrace on society and our education system when after [--] years most people have no idea who Neil Armstrong is. Or what kind of trumpet he played"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2016535950789144991)  2026-01-28T15:36Z 106.3K followers, 48.5K engagements


"The [--] second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a [--] second dog"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2016610801650487798)  2026-01-28T20:34Z 106.3K followers, 117.4K engagements


"Apparently its rude to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2017062443407614097)  2026-01-30T02:28Z 106.1K followers, 22.9K engagements


"I don't always carry all the groceries on one arm But when I do my keys are in the wrong pocket"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2017655629557399901)  2026-01-31T17:46Z 106.2K followers, 234.1K engagements


"What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to both sexes but neither are attracted to you Bi-yourself"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2017980516297777247)  2026-02-01T15:17Z 106.1K followers, 22.6K engagements


"Accordion to a recent survey [--] out of [--] people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2018122542221873364)  2026-02-02T00:41Z 106.3K followers, 499.7K engagements


"Can't believe anyone can just make babies but you need to have a license to fish"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2018657774323027995)  2026-02-03T12:08Z 106.1K followers, [----] engagements


"A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019195682033397843)  2026-02-04T23:45Z 106.2K followers, 32.3K engagements


"I have an emotional support spider. Well at least thats what Im calling him. Hes always in my corner"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019452671879499777)  2026-02-05T16:46Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane. We're currently filming the pilot"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019605919064289519)  2026-02-06T02:55Z 106.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Justice is a dish best served cold. If it was served warm it would be justwater"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019760691863781779)  2026-02-06T13:10Z 106.3K followers, 44.3K engagements


"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. Its called "lunch.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2019829066749415698)  2026-02-06T17:42Z 106.3K followers, 19.5K engagements


"I thought chiropractors were a waste of money but i stand corrected"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020167162346733982)  2026-02-07T16:05Z 106.2K followers, 16.9K engagements


"I hate it when I'm singing a song and the singer gets the words wrong"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020248705442673057)  2026-02-07T21:30Z 106.2K followers, 13.7K engagements


"I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020489727758024819)  2026-02-08T13:27Z 106.3K followers, 63.1K engagements


"@DarrenJohnHill I grew up in Rogers park Small world"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020652291225977093)  2026-02-09T00:13Z 106.2K followers, [--] engagements


"People who can't tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020865298677563860)  2026-02-09T14:20Z 106.3K followers, 90.1K engagements


"The sentence: "Are you as bored as I am" can be said backwards and still makes sense"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020940084963631231)  2026-02-09T19:17Z 106.3K followers, 61.8K engagements


"@Skyyy_Princess 😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020951832013480002)  2026-02-09T20:03Z 106.2K followers, [---] engagements


"My wife texted me Your great and I replied No you're great". She's been really happy and smiling at me all weekend. I just corrected her grammar. Don't need to get so excited"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020977259570696682)  2026-02-09T21:45Z 106.3K followers, 10.1K engagements


"@DocAtCDI Life is definitely getting better. If you told me [--] months ago Id meet someone new and start enjoying life again I dont think Id believe you but here we are ❤❤"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021009440208716138)  2026-02-09T23:52Z 106.2K followers, [--] engagements


"Mixed up my pizza app and my dating app Now theres a [--] inch vegetarian at my door"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021273086314627155)  2026-02-10T17:20Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@Dorian_Aurora Ew no thank you 😂😂😂 Hi honey"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021300625938522285)  2026-02-10T19:09Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"If an email shows up titled "Knock knock" don't open it Its a Jehovah's Witness working from home"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021357949969670168)  2026-02-10T22:57Z 106.3K followers, 12.3K engagements


"@Dorian_Aurora 😂😂😂😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021612918761025889)  2026-02-11T15:50Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@Jill13141567 I did I borrow 90% of stuff I post and I say it on my profile. I just want to make people smile"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021707107653783735)  2026-02-11T22:05Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@Dorian_Aurora @Scrotes3"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021787887285809179)  2026-02-12T03:26Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"Stop killing Alligators to make Gatorade"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021804643408289856)  2026-02-12T04:32Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@Scrotes3 @Dorian_Aurora Whos fondling whom"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021825766950940877)  2026-02-12T05:56Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"@Dorian_Aurora @Scrotes3 Ouch. What happened to taking it easy for a while"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021832401874256114)  2026-02-12T06:23Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"The fact that some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in ways I can't put into words"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1464697922851946497)  2021-11-27T20:49Z 106.4K followers, 29.6K engagements


"I watched a documentary on weed last night. I think thats how Ill watch all documentaries from now on"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1502463668864303108)  2022-03-12T01:57Z 106.4K followers, 17.3K engagements


"My 75-year-old mother just informed me that she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring. After some awkward questions I said "Gender reveal. You're going to a gender reveal.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1671269634375577601)  2023-06-20T21:31Z 106.4K followers, 1.8M engagements


"When I was a little kid I used to think "this little pig went to market" meant it was going shopping"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1944134334652592469)  2025-07-12T20:38Z 106.4K followers, 12.1M engagements


"I've just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1950690491797827624)  2025-07-30T22:50Z 106.4K followers, 500.6K engagements


"The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1966229037581480425)  2025-09-11T19:55Z 106.4K followers, 17.4M engagements


"My co-worker said - "You should never eat donuts for breakfast to me today. I told her "My Grandmother lived to [---] years old." She asked "Did she eat donuts for breakfast I said "No she minded her own business.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1971942715429658911)  2025-09-27T14:19Z 106.4K followers, 152.4K engagements


"Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1998073801687654451)  2025-12-08T16:54Z 106.4K followers, 475.7K engagements


"My wife told me: Sex is better on vacation. I wasn't expecting that on the postcard she sent from Greece"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2010106709520666961)  2026-01-10T21:49Z 106.4K followers, 1.3M engagements


"There's no way everybody was kung fu fighting"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2017042134398877957)  2026-01-30T01:08Z 106.4K followers, 706.8K engagements


"The fact that hemorrhoids aren't called asteroids is a major missed opportunity for science health and the English language"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020309303174045972)  2026-02-08T01:30Z 106.4K followers, 266.4K engagements


"If you watch the movie "Jaws" backwards it becomes the heartwarming story about a shark who swims around giving arms and legs to disabled people"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021582723404415104)  2026-02-11T13:50Z 106.4K followers, 296.6K engagements


"Three hardest things for a man to say: 1: I need help. 2: I was wrong 3: Worcestershire Sauce"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022333040324927517)  2026-02-13T15:32Z 106.4K followers, 11.9K engagements


"Her: At least invite me out to dinner. Him: I don't go out with married women. Her: But I'm your wife. Him: I make no exceptions"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2023081228560183385)  2026-02-15T17:05Z 106.4K followers, 29.7K engagements


"Has anyone tried unplugging the United States and plugging it back in again"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2023129640957620226)  2026-02-15T20:17Z 106.4K followers, 95.6K engagements


"Apparently you cant use beef stew as a password. Its not stroganoff"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020132169788657953)  2026-02-07T13:46Z 106.3K followers, 515.7K engagements


"The whole salad dressing industry exists because people really just don't like the taste of salad"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020994298934648907)  2026-02-09T22:52Z 106.3K followers, 30.4K engagements


"Wife: sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can't find it. Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet his jacket on the hanger and his keys on the key hook"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021206971127353597)  2026-02-10T12:57Z 106.3K followers, 12.1K engagements


"If there is soup of the day is there a sexier soup of the night somewhere"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022029837544935812)  2026-02-12T19:27Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@DocAtCDI Why is it always John Damnit 😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022091828531748912)  2026-02-12T23:33Z 106.3K followers, [---] engagements


"I played Stairway to Heaven for the 1000th time today. I think that was a record"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022320637960658956)  2026-02-13T14:43Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"I just mashed up some Kelloggs Frosted Flakes into a paste & used it between my bathroom tiles. Theyyy'rre GROUT"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022454197799825533)  2026-02-13T23:33Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"@MagicMark9 @OneDarkSeed Thanks Mark"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022491946619670587)  2026-02-14T02:03Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"@theliamnissan Tupac"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022524333940416770)  2026-02-14T04:12Z 106.3K followers, [---] engagements


"Ate an edible last night and cooked a pizza at [--] degrees for [---] minutes"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/1999164639448334799)  2025-12-11T17:09Z 106.3K followers, 3.2M engagements


"I love the phrase "bear with me" because it can either mean "be patient" or "the zoo heist was a success""  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2011839182927204663)  2026-01-15T16:33Z 106.3K followers, 1.4M engagements


"The next Star Wars movie will introduce Darth Vaders annoying brother: Aggra Vader"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022393115316007149)  2026-02-13T19:31Z 106.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Before I die Im going to eat a bag of unpopped popcorn. That should make the cremation a little more interesting"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021772161166578132)  2026-02-12T02:23Z 106.4K followers, 56.6K engagements


"Sometimes its just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022071990300082252)  2026-02-12T22:15Z 106.4K followers, 11.5K engagements


"I've been told that I need professional help So I'm looking for a Butler a Maid and a nanny"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2022692422770143504)  2026-02-14T15:20Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1581439586781184001)  2022-10-16T00:19Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"My twin sister called me from prison. She said: You know how we finish each others sentences"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1587882475350638597)  2022-11-02T19:00Z 106.4K followers, 35.1K engagements


"Eggs are great for a diet. If you don't like the taste just add cocoa baking powder flour sugar and butter. bake at [---] degrees for [--] minutes"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2018047041516040575)  2026-02-01T19:41Z 106.4K followers, 437.9K engagements


"The first rule of Condescension Club is complex and I don't think you'd understand even if I explained it to you"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2020648649639051313)  2026-02-08T23:59Z 106.4K followers, 64K engagements


"If you serve frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner you are a terrible parent. I dont care how busy you are Find the time to microwave the stuff"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2021424530854752699)  2026-02-11T03:22Z 106.4K followers, 48.8K engagements


"It's been raining cats and dogs ALL DAY I just stepped in a poodle"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2023050162608738635)  2026-02-15T15:01Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Buying something nice for myself because today would've been my birthday if I was born today"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2023154218358706588)  2026-02-15T21:55Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"@Dorian_Aurora @Julius_Kim 😂😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2023418384067842112)  2026-02-16T15:25Z 106.3K followers, [--] engagements


"I bought a Christmas tree today and the salesman asked if I was going to put it up myself. I said no Im going to put it in the living room"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1472321793029558276)  2021-12-18T21:44Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1473758725701877762)  2021-12-22T20:53Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1474078631387402245)  2021-12-23T18:05Z 106.4K followers, 16K engagements


"Say got if you get it"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1474123204851601412)  2021-12-23T21:02Z 106.4K followers, 10.7K engagements


"Today I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. As I went to walk away with it I thought "What would Jesus do" So I went to a store and turned it into wine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1477784771245793283)  2022-01-02T23:32Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Changed all my passwords to Kenny. Now all I have are Kenny Loggins"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1479656149049823234)  2022-01-08T03:28Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"My wife and I have decided we don't want to have children. So we are going to tell them tonight at dinner"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1480728747917643780)  2022-01-11T02:30Z 106.4K followers, 19.9K engagements


"I have questions 😂😂😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1481779324617437189)  2022-01-14T00:04Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of worcestershire sauce"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1487623865316655109)  2022-01-30T03:09Z 106.4K followers, 17.8K engagements


"Milli Vanilli just announced that theyre pulling someone elses music from Spotify"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1489035428573454339)  2022-02-03T00:38Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I asked my daughter to give me a phone book. She laughed at me called me a boomer and lent me her iPhone. So now the spider is dead her iPhone is broken & my daughter is furious"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1492208501749424139)  2022-02-11T18:46Z 106.4K followers, 58.5K engagements


"Say got it if you get it"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1494863135538360324)  2022-02-19T02:35Z 106.4K followers, 17K engagements


"I've just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1499501151653404680)  2022-03-03T21:45Z 106.4K followers, 68K engagements


"Sometimes I think Im buying organic vegetables but when I get home I realize theyre just regular donuts"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1499930073343963139)  2022-03-05T02:09Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Beethoven. Van Damme: I'll be Mozart. Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1501345080430448642)  2022-03-08T23:52Z 106.4K followers, 62.8K engagements


"HEY WALMART DON'T GET PISSED AT ME IF I FORGOT TO SCAN SOMETHING. YOU LITERALLY GAVE ME ZERO TRAINING BEFORE MAKING ME A CASHIER"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1505312440912863242)  2022-03-19T22:37Z 106.4K followers, 111.9K engagements


"I was today years old when I found out that if you hold down the [--] button/key you get the degree sign"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1508178061086363649)  2022-03-27T20:24Z 106.4K followers, 18.7K engagements


"What did the police at the oscars find when they dusted Chris Rock's face Fresh Prints"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1508428705755975685)  2022-03-28T13:00Z 106.4K followers, 21.4K engagements


"Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So I grounded him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1511447540033626125)  2022-04-05T20:55Z 106.4K followers, 16.9K engagements


"Why is Iron Man called Iron Man and not Fe-Male"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1511869391557873667)  2022-04-07T00:52Z 106.4K followers, 92.8K engagements


"My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1512923026437853184)  2022-04-09T22:38Z 106.4K followers, 165.7K engagements


"Elon Musk bought twitter for $43 Billion. Didnt he know that he could download it for free from the App Store"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1519143956935806977)  2022-04-27T02:38Z 106.4K followers, 17.1K engagements


"The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1520941169378832384)  2022-05-02T01:40Z 106.4K followers, 31.1K engagements


"Cooking for [--] hours just to eat for [--] minutes is the biggest scam in the world"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1533555095257980928)  2022-06-05T21:03Z 106.4K followers, 52.2K engagements


"As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season. I would LOVE you to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1542558142923509760)  2022-06-30T17:18Z 106.4K followers, 127.4K engagements


"If you're cremated after you die you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1545881755470675969)  2022-07-09T21:25Z 106.4K followers, 466.9K engagements


"A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1545938153906790402)  2022-07-10T01:09Z 106.4K followers, 20.5K engagements


"FYI: It's no longer "box wine" The classy term is "cardboardeaux""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1548859962788552704)  2022-07-18T02:39Z 106.4K followers, 56.5K engagements


"I got carded at the liquor store & my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said"Never mind.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1557541353772523523)  2022-08-11T01:36Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"How to cook crack and clean a crab. Step 1: Use fucking commas"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1565027185534140417)  2022-08-31T17:22Z 106.4K followers, 15.6K engagements


"Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1567190091663130630)  2022-09-06T16:36Z 106.4K followers, 17K engagements


"I found $20 laying in the parking lot and thought to myself What would Jesus do So I turned it into wine"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1568442903051001856)  2022-09-10T03:35Z 106.4K followers, 61.8K engagements


"My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1570931451146936320)  2022-09-17T00:23Z 106.4K followers, 16.3K engagements


"That moment when you drive your Chevy to the levy and the levy isnt dry. This is what happens when you drink whiskey and rye"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1570936976324579328)  2022-09-17T00:45Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"The only thing flat earthers have to fear. .is sphere itself"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1571348442495983617)  2022-09-18T04:00Z 106.4K followers, 36.1K engagements


"The walk from my house to the bar is [--] minutes. The walk from the bar to my house is [--] minutes. The difference is Staggering"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1574905205686247462)  2022-09-27T23:33Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"If you lose your Khakis in Texas it means you can't find your pants. If you lose your Khakis in Boston it means you can't start your car"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1578411216338403328)  2022-10-07T15:45Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I asked my daughter to give me a phone book. She laughed at me called me a boomer and lent me her iPhone. So now the spider is dead her iPhone is broken & my daughter is furious"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1579530264271024128)  2022-10-10T17:52Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"So this was a Zoom meeting this whole time"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1579668177084370945)  2022-10-11T03:00Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"BREAKING NEWS: Sting has been kidnapped. The Police have no lead"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1581385773945073664)  2022-10-15T20:45Z 106.4K followers, 46.5K engagements


"Apparently there is a Patron Saint of copying people on an email. It's St. Francis of a CC"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1585023596375683072)  2022-10-25T21:40Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Caught my son chewing on electrical wires so I grounded him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1586465320134246400)  2022-10-29T21:09Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I've just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1586510037501214720)  2022-10-30T00:07Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you're on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1586530030804295680)  2022-10-30T01:26Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"I was at the library when people began throwing Stephen King novels around. I could not figure out why. Then IT hit me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1588725115734306816)  2022-11-05T02:49Z 106.4K followers, [----] engagements


"How to speak Irish WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED (say it fast)"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1589068608348753921)  2022-11-06T01:34Z 106.4K followers, 12K engagements


"Just helped my neighbour bury a rolled up carpet in the woods. Her boyfriend would've done it but he's out of town"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1595261073925734401)  2022-11-23T03:40Z 106.4K followers, 14.8K engagements


"Don't forget to turn your bathroom scales back [--] pounds tonight at 1AM for Thanksgiving"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1595466772781703172)  2022-11-23T17:18Z 106.4K followers, 39.8K engagements


"I was today years old when I found out that if you hold down the [--] button/key you get the degree sign"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1595963710102974464)  2022-11-25T02:12Z 106.4K followers, 21.6K engagements


"Does anyone else tell their pets "I'll be back soon" when they leave the house Just me"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1599487149241380864)  2022-12-04T19:33Z 106.4K followers, 42.8K engagements


"Which wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying a day longer than I thought"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1612860044449841152)  2023-01-10T17:12Z 106.4K followers, 884.9K engagements


"If someone from ziplock could contact Literally anyone in the cereal Business that would be great"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1613370984635195393)  2023-01-12T03:03Z 106.4K followers, 1.9M engagements


"Back in my day there was so much Toilet Paper and Eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1615076482983886848)  2023-01-16T20:00Z 106.4K followers, 489.5K engagements


"QUICK QUESTION: Is it "for fucks sake" or "for fuck sake" It's for a work email so has to sound professional"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1630616370428755968)  2023-02-28T17:10Z 106.4K followers, 677.4K engagements


"I was arguing with a guy at a bar. He said he was a big pop star in the 80s. I didnt believe him but he was adamant"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1634675600278339586)  2023-03-11T22:00Z 106.4K followers, 11.9M engagements


"Parenting is buying [--] yogurts and watching them all get eaten In one day. Then buying [--] yogurts and watching them expire because Nobody likes yogurt"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1727433395385577783)  2023-11-22T21:06Z 106.4K followers, 333.6K engagements


"When I was a kid bedtime was [--] pm and I couldn't wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed any time I wanted. turns out that's [--] pm"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1729318515830587671)  2023-11-28T01:57Z 106.4K followers, 323K engagements


"Cassette tapes had an A side and a B side so it makes sense that their successor would be the CD"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1765414425232634330)  2024-03-06T16:29Z 106.4K followers, 626K engagements


"We DO NOT throw perfectly good food away in this house. We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad THEN throw it out"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1803835623809191986)  2024-06-20T17:01Z 106.4K followers, 5.4M engagements


"My 76-year-old mother just informed me that she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring. After some awkward questions I said "Gender reveal. You're going to a gender reveal.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1940971358181380495)  2025-07-04T03:10Z 106.4K followers, 1.5M engagements


"@MDMoore23 It didnt come back from the market"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1944136828430221603)  2025-07-12T20:48Z 106.4K followers, 360.5K engagements


"Accordion to a recent survey [--] out of [--] people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1945920985393172926)  2025-07-17T18:58Z 106.4K followers, 831.2K engagements


"Which wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying a day longer than I thought"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1969081232001536108)  2025-09-19T16:48Z 106.4K followers, 544.9K engagements


"Please pray for my daughter who had to empty the dishwasher when she "just did this yesterday and she's tired.""  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1984729959319945443)  2025-11-01T21:11Z 106.4K followers, 2.3M engagements


"I cant 😂😂😂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1987620803127509148)  2025-11-09T20:38Z 106.4K followers, 172.7K engagements


"loud knocking "Open up. its the police". Me: "prove it". "How". Me: "Sing Roxanne""  
[X Link](https://x.com/mariana057/status/2009996377376591885)  2026-01-10T14:30Z 106.3K followers, 26.1K engagements

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