# ![@NewbieSlt Avatar](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:26/cr:twitter::1122564490954969089.png) @NewbieSlt SLT Newbie

SLT Newbie posts on X about staff, if you, in the, academy the most. They currently have [------] followers and [---] posts still getting attention that total [---] engagements in the last [--] hours.

### Engagements: [---] [#](/creator/twitter::1122564490954969089/interactions)
![Engagements Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1122564490954969089/c:line/m:interactions.svg)

- [--] Week [------] +46%
- [--] Month [------] -2.40%
- [--] Months [-------] +108%
- [--] Year [-------] -53%

### Mentions: [--] [#](/creator/twitter::1122564490954969089/posts_active)
![Mentions Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1122564490954969089/c:line/m:posts_active.svg)

- [--] Week [--] -20%
- [--] Month [--] +11%
- [--] Months [---] +187%
- [--] Year [---] +19%

### Followers: [------] [#](/creator/twitter::1122564490954969089/followers)
![Followers Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1122564490954969089/c:line/m:followers.svg)

- [--] Week [------] -0.01%
- [--] Month [------] -0.21%
- [--] Months [------] -0.70%
- [--] Year [------] -1.80%

### CreatorRank: [---------] [#](/creator/twitter::1122564490954969089/influencer_rank)
![CreatorRank Line Chart](https://lunarcrush.com/gi/w:600/cr:twitter::1122564490954969089/c:line/m:influencer_rank.svg)

### Social Influence

**Social category influence**
[finance](/list/finance)  [travel destinations](/list/travel-destinations)  [countries](/list/countries)  [technology brands](/list/technology-brands)  [social networks](/list/social-networks)  [stocks](/list/stocks)  [automotive brands](/list/automotive-brands)  [currencies](/list/currencies)  [luxury brands](/list/luxury-brands)  [celebrities](/list/celebrities) 

**Social topic influence**
[staff](/topic/staff), [if you](/topic/if-you), [in the](/topic/in-the), [academy](/topic/academy) #1646, [money](/topic/money), [we are](/topic/we-are), [has been](/topic/has-been), [christmas](/topic/christmas), [to the](/topic/to-the), [book](/topic/book)

**Top accounts mentioned or mentioned by**
[@nigelfarage](/creator/undefined) [@julianleecomedy](/creator/undefined) [@misssnuffy](/creator/undefined) [@herring1967](/creator/undefined) [@headteacherchat](/creator/undefined) [@fuenteszuniga1](/creator/undefined) [@keirstarmer](/creator/undefined) [@oldtimers365](/creator/undefined) [@missk2713658693](/creator/undefined) [@musicedu4all](/creator/undefined) [@alandapre](/creator/undefined) [@teacherglitter](/creator/undefined) [@gwenelope](/creator/undefined) [@allisonchasemfl](/creator/undefined) [@lillyfed](/creator/undefined) [@mucollegeofcomm](/creator/undefined) [@arianesherine](/creator/undefined) [@valleseco](/creator/undefined) [@jdbakewell](/creator/undefined) [@thosethatcan](/creator/undefined)

**Top assets mentioned**
[Alphabet Inc Class A (GOOGL)](/topic/$googl)
### Top Social Posts
Top posts by engagements in the last [--] hours

"Hi all Some of our students are really struggling to open the home learning tasks. Please make sure when uploading work to the VLE that there is a version in all of the following formats: doc docx odt ott rtf txt sxw stw html xml uot jpeg and animated gif. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1253669604561424385)  2020-04-24T12:58Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all I assure you that Chantelle does not have Corona Virus. Her doctor says she is coughing due to of her [--] a day Woodbines habit and her high temperature is an allergic reaction to the Cuprinol Woodstain she has been using since Boots put up the price of fake tan. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1303333534497746944)  2020-09-08T14:05Z 43.5K followers, [---] engagements


"19000 followers. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1327611715782139907)  2020-11-14T13:57Z 45.5K followers, [--] engagements


"Hi all Weve updated the handbook with our new Wasp in the Classroom Policy. Please make sure that you read the [--] relevant chapters and write a risk assessment for every room you teach in. We will test this by randomly releasing bees and wasps during the school day. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1660290599306637312)  2023-05-21T14:25Z 45.8K followers, 27.6K engagements


"Hi all From September we have another new initiative: Trustwide Involvement in New Directives in Education Research. Each of you will be automatically signed up and have a link to your TINDER profile on The Academy website. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1678998872679493634)  2023-07-12T05:31Z 45.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Due to a shortage of teaching staff from September tutor groups will contain [--] to [--] pupils. They will also not have a tutor but a prefect a TA or one of the invigilators left over from the summer exams. What could possibly go wrong Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1683845810772135937)  2023-08-01T18:16Z 45.3K followers, 17.9K engagements


"Hi all Now that the unions have voted to accept your not fully funded pay rise we need to start looking at redundancies. Obviously well start with Humanities MFL and Art. If you can think of any others dont hesitate to inbox me. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1686020137822941184)  2023-07-31T21:32Z 45.2K followers, 89.7K engagements


"Hi all To save money and the environment weve replaced the staff room and library photocopiers with monks. Theyll copy out worksheets for you and even do the first letters in really big fancy writing. They need [--] months notice for a class set [--] if its in colour. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1686744913235656704)  2023-08-02T14:28Z 45.2K followers, 22.9K engagements


"Hi all Please remember that from September every piece of work will be marked using our new formula: Assess Review Share Evaluate Success. We will be regularly checking books and displays to check that pupils are aware of the real impact of ARSES on their futures. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1686971405697699840)  2023-08-03T06:45Z 45.6K followers, 31.7K engagements


"Hi all From September well be adopting a new mantra in our vain attempt to reach an Outstanding Ofsted grade. This time its Culture Respect Awareness Pride. The Academy will be so full of CRAP in September you wont recognise the place. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1687333793642762241)  2023-08-04T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 57.4K engagements


"Hi all Can the more ambitious among you please stop asking us to fund your NPQH courses We already have one Needy Pathetic Questionable Headteacher we dont need anymore. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1690232896555266048)  2023-08-12T05:25Z 45.6K followers, 16.5K engagements


"Hi all As today is #LeftHandersDay I thought it would be a good idea to remind you to familiarise yourselves with this publication before the new term starts. Remember that it is Academy policy to try to rid the world of these disgusting freaks. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1690731179987906560)  2023-08-13T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 13.6K engagements


"Hi all Today is Results Day and we are celebrating our best results ever. Our number of students receiving five 4-9 grades is almost in double figures. If we knew what Progress [--] meant wed probably be celebrating that too. Well done to SLT for all their hard work. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1694581550858551728)  2023-08-24T05:25Z 45.6K followers, 21.3K engagements


"Hi all Now the GCSE results are in I can start to create the new duty rota. If you achieved a positive residual your duty point will be inside close to your classroom. The Geography department will be on duty outside the Coop in the next village when its raining. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1695079834328690967)  2023-08-25T14:25Z 45.6K followers, 30.1K engagements


"Hi all We still havent managed to find a new SENDCO for September so we have asked Carole in the Main Office to do it. How difficult can it be Its just a matter of ordering different coloured exercise books. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1695804610265370783)  2023-08-27T14:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We start back at The Academy in exactly one week. This week would be a good time to start practising not eating all day not going to the toilet between the hours of 7am and 4pm and yet still managing to drink [--] huge Sports Direct mugs of lukewarm instant coffee. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1696031102379467049)  2023-08-28T05:25Z 45.6K followers, 21.6K engagements


"Hi all Thanks to Tina and Janice for taking the time out of their holidays to try to improve 9Zs literacy skills. I hope the Reading Festival lived up to their expectations and that they managed to find a lot of new books for The Academy library. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1696166998181318922)  2023-08-28T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 19.8K engagements


"Hi all We have decided to make duty points more accurate and will be using the What Three Words app to tell you where you need to go on duty. Sadly due to a typing error the History Department will be on break duty on the big roundabout on the ring road in Copenhagen. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1696393490299756923)  2023-08-29T05:25Z 45.3K followers, 16.5K engagements


"Hi all Our website has been hacked again. The letters NPQH after the Principals name stand for National Professional Qualification for Headship and not Never Present Quite Horrible. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1696529386051404250)  2023-08-29T14:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Thanks to those who sent in planning for the first term. Sadly you didnt check this mornings email with the new format. The new layout must be landscape narrow margins comic sans [--] in dark grey (not black) and with The Academy logo in colour on every page. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1697254161484583100)  2023-08-31T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 26.2K engagements


"Hi parents You have exactly [--] days to get your kids ready for school. Fake nails must be removed coloured hair back to normal acceptable shoes (not trainers) and just because the woman in Ann Summers said it was a school uniform doesnt make it an Academy uniform. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1697978937316606111)  2023-09-02T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 11K engagements


"Hi all To help the environment and keep the car park looking more like Fortnum and Mason and less like Home Bargains we will be taking a leaf out of of Mr Khans book and charging anyone in a non ULEZ Compliant car [-----] to access the Academy car park from tomorrow. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1698205429610766551)  2023-09-03T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 13.5K engagements


"Hi all Thanks to the eagle eyes of Mr Johnson we managed to avoid a serious attack and remove these dangerous weapons from one of our new year [--] students during form period today. The pupil was arrested and she has been permanently excluded. Please stay vigilant Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1699066100833464663)  2023-09-05T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 11.8K engagements


"Hi all In order to keep the smokers and vapers out of the toilets during lessons our new caretaker Mr Johnson will be releasing a dozen or so wasps in there at the end of each break time. If it works well try it out in the pupils toilets too. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1699790876610805843)  2023-09-07T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 29.1K engagements


"Hi all Thanks to all of you who sat patiently and politely in yesterdays CPD when Mr Johnson told us how to make excellent soups roasts frittatas and omelettes. We thought we had booked him to talk to you all about Coping with Aspergers not Cooking with asparagus. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1701466920304668858)  2023-09-12T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 26.7K engagements


"Hi all The third week back sounds like a good time to have a crackdown on shoes. Girls should be wearing black Clarks T-bar sandals and boys should be wearing Clarks Wayfinders. Please check that the compasses in the Wayfinders heels are calibrated to magnetic north. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1703641247574000083)  2023-09-18T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 14K engagements


"Hi all Remember that in The Academy we never say that a child is failing an exam or a course we always use the phrase Working Towards. Also tomorrow afternoon we will be publishing a list of all the staff who are Working towards UPS. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1704366023208546504)  2023-09-20T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Just a reminder for teachers of 7Z: Brodie cant sit near Cody Bodie or Jodie but can sit with Neve Caimh and Steve. Sarah hates Zara and Sara but not Cara. Skyler Tyler and Taylor should be OK together and Jeremy bites so needs to be alone or have a dog toy. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1707265126145859981)  2023-09-28T05:25Z 45.6K followers, 27K engagements


"Hi all Can you please make sure that when you are not near your school computer that you log out of The Academy network. We dont want any more incidents of 9Z using your departmental budgets to bulk buy strawberry marshmallow vapes Monster energy drink or Lambrini. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1707401021709070673)  2023-09-28T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Todays Year [--] Spelling Bee didnt go quite to plan. The pupils were unaware that theyd be asked to spell other words not just bee. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1707763409691844998)  2023-09-29T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 17.2K engagements


"Hi all We have decided to follow the Governments advice and ban mobile phones for all pupils in all classrooms in The Academy from today. Were also banning drugs smoking vaping knives and wasps. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1709077065646141847)  2023-10-03T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 10.5K engagements


"Hi parents Our social media accounts have been hacked again. Please do not send in any more urine samples. We are not really drug testing pupils before the Inter House Sports Day. The empty jars have been donated to the Food Tech Department for when they do jam making. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1709439453364945376)  2023-10-04T05:25Z 45.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Tomorrows CPD has been cancelled so that you can prepare for Tuesdays Year [--] Open Evening. You will spend the three hours cleaning polishing and redecorating your classrooms and Departmental areas. SLT will inspect them before you will be allowed to go home. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1710889004789612732)  2023-10-08T05:25Z 45.6K followers, 17.4K engagements


"Hi all Please congratulate Mr Johnson on becoming our new Assistant Associate Assistant Associate Vice Principals Assistants Vice Principal. He will be off tomorrow to get fitted for a shiny blue suit and some scruffy brown shoes one of which will have a black lace. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1711749676402172023)  2023-10-10T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 41.1K engagements


"Hi all Yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day. We asked you to watch three [--] hour mental health videos and complete the feedback sheets for each one. Some of you still havent done this. Dont go home until you have done it. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1711976168390549987)  2023-10-11T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 13.6K engagements


"Hi all We have redefined the term specialist in the Staff Handbook. From next term anyone with a GCSE in any subject or if they did it at primary school will be considered a specialist and will be expected to teach those subjects like an outstanding practitioner. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1712700944209924493)  2023-10-13T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 43.2K engagements


"Hi all From Monday one lucky teacher will get extra time each week to study new education incentives. This Weekly Hour Of Research into Education could help to further your career. If you are interested in The Academy WHORE scheme speak to Janice our resident expert. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1712836839793701000)  2023-10-13T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 19.3K engagements


"Hi all After half term we are restructuring again. We are going to put everyone with a TLR on the management scale at L1. Itll look great on their CV we wont have to give them PPA time holidays or a lunch break and well save an absolute fortune. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1713199227491496144)  2023-10-14T14:25Z 45.2K followers, 31K engagements


"Hi all To save time with marking and feedback we are going to start to use Whole Class Feedback sheets. There is a sample on the VLE for you to adapt. Make sure that each pupil is given their own Whole Class Feedback sheet with their name and personal targets on it. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1713425719861317936)  2023-10-15T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 29K engagements


"Hi all Due to an increase in complaints against teachers we have decided that you should all wear body-cams during lessons. This will improve behaviour and also stop the need for SLT to do lesson observations or learning walks. You can get them on Amazon for about [--]. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1713788107739332700)  2023-10-16T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 40.1K engagements


"Hi all Please check that pupils have the correct shoes after PE lessons. Weve had complaints about kids going home in the wrong shoes. Also can you check that PE staff have the correct shoes. Mr Johnson was walking round in circles all day with two left Nikes on. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1714150495668031668)  2023-10-17T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 11.6K engagements


"Hi all Half term is approaching and some departments still havent put their KS4 revision and catch up lessons onto The Academy Calendar. Each subject should offer half a day of lessons. Students who attend every session will get to go to the Prom. If we organise one. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1715011166957646312)  2023-10-19T14:25Z 45.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all After much thought we have decided to stop putting a red dot on our PP students exercise books. The main reason is that every time Boy Jayden was given his maths book he saw the red dot and thought he was being targeted by a sniper on the bike shed roof. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1715237659482968501)  2023-10-20T05:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We hope youre enjoying the half term break and spending some quality time with loved ones rewriting those Schemes of Work planning lessons and drawing those Learning Journeys See you all tomorrow for GCSE Revision. Well not me. Obvs. Im in the Seychelles. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1715962435000013245)  2023-10-22T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 18.4K engagements


"Hi all There have been complaints at how intensely weve been inspecting departments so weve made a new scale: 1) the dipping of the toe 2) the quick paddle 3) the up to the knees 4) the pleasant swim 5) the Deep Dive 6) the fight to the death with a Kraken Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1717049598605234542)  2023-10-25T05:25Z 45.2K followers, 15.8K engagements


"Hi all If anyone can remember how to change The Academy bell timer from BST to GMT can you please get in touch with the Site Team as he has forgotten. If this problem cant be rectified registration will be at 7:40am tomorrow. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1718514249490743702)  2023-10-29T06:25Z 45.2K followers, 18.1K engagements


"Hi all Our new toilet policy starts tomorrow. Due to recent vandalism no children are to go to the toilet during lessons. Except those with a medical pass. Or those with a note from their parents. And girls they must be allowed to go. And boys. But no one else. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1718650145150009841)  2023-10-29T15:25Z 45.2K followers, 31.2K engagements


"Hi all If you go away on holiday at half term please dont take any marking with you. This is partly due to us caring for your well being and also the fact Mr Johnson was arrested at Heathrow on Sunday with 9Zs maths books and charged with smuggling chemical weapons. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1719239025406427647)  2023-10-31T06:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We are updating our IT provision and will be giving out new devices tomorrow morning. SLT will get a new state of the art Mac Book Pro UPS and TLRs will get laptops teachers without responsibility will get iPads and the PE Department are getting a new whistle. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1720099698768318906)  2023-11-02T15:25Z 45.3K followers, 30.7K engagements


"Hi all We are looking for a new SLT member to join our team. This time its the Secondary Curriculum Research and Organising Teaching Under-Manager. If you can see yourself as The Academys new SCROTUM please see Carole for more details. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1720824472071295144)  2023-11-04T15:25Z 45.3K followers, 22.4K engagements


"@MissK2713658693 Youll spend a lot of time hanging around feeling useless"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1720855856638570782)  2023-11-04T17:29Z 45.3K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Thank you so much for all of your interest in our latest SLT post. We know how long you spent on your applications and we were really impressed. However we just found out that our CEOs niece got her PGCE in July and hasnt found a job yet so shes getting it. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1723587679575760921)  2023-11-12T06:25Z 45.4K followers, 87.3K engagements


"Hi all We have so many SLTs that we are running short of office space. Our new Head of Year [--] Mr Johnson and his assistant will therefore now be based in the lift by the main doors. To make an appointment to see him press the Up arrow and wait for the doors to open. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1725173126751781280)  2023-11-16T15:25Z 45.5K followers, 32.4K engagements


"Hi all We have a vacancy for a TA. We have enough nice friendly ones so were looking for one of those grumpy eye-rollers who brings a magazine to lessons for when they get bored. The ability to tut loudly and say I actually have a degree you know would be great. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1728434617403822498)  2023-11-25T15:25Z 45.5K followers, 25.7K engagements


"Hi all The menu for The Academy Christmas Lunch is as follows: Roast turkey pigs in blankets potatoes roasted in goose fat sprouts and carrots in butter. The vegan menu is sprouts and carrots with the butter rinsed off. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1728722766529204731)  2023-11-26T10:30Z 45.5K followers, 12.3K engagements


"Hi all Today is Christmas Jumper Day. Please make sure that all seasonal attire is appropriate. We dont want a repeat of Tinas Squeeze my baubles jumper or Mr Johnson tying mistletoe to his belt buckle. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1732647376383517083)  2023-12-07T06:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all To accommodate the new corporate SUVs all of SLT been gifted by The Trust we have had to make our parking spaces bigger. To do this we have had to make all of the other spaces smaller. If youre planning on replacing your car a Fiat [---] would be a great idea. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1734096927804018745)  2023-12-11T06:25Z [--] followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Weve been in your classrooms (not me Im in the Seychelles) and discovered that some of you have left behind some books. Please come into The Academy this week and collect them. There are book checks in January. Theyre not going to mark themselves are they Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1736769538455457972)  2023-12-18T15:25Z 45.6K followers, 13.9K engagements


"Hi all Our Bursar Mr Johnson says that due to a cash flow issue you wont be getting your pay rise in this months salary payment. Its not entirely his fault: the jockey won by eight lengths but was disqualified for overusing the whip. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1738581477649228093)  2023-12-23T15:25Z 45.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The advertising for the refurbished Academy canteen has an error. The posters which read Come and eat at the new look Academy canteen. It has got lots of pizzazz should of course say pizzas. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1741480580796371137)  2023-12-31T15:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have scrapped todays planned VAK CPD and will be completing various team building activities where staff can show their initiative and planning skills. Yes were cleaning the ground floor classrooms after the flood in the holidays. Bring a mop. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1742069460876607863)  2024-01-02T06:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Now weve changed the Academy Day to start at 8:20 it means all the children who arrive on the [---] bus from the housing estate will be [--] minutes late every day. As a tutor you must put them in detention every time theyre late. Their parents will be furious. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1743156624557277528)  2024-01-05T06:25Z 45.6K followers, 14.5K engagements


"Hi all This weekends Year [--] camping trip is a practice camp for those working towards the Duke of Edinburgh Award and not as it says in the pupil newsletter the Puke of Edinburgh Award. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1745829235074416742)  2024-01-12T15:25Z 45.3K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Each time a child attends a lesson they get a TWAT Point. They also get points for equipment answering questions and completing homework. The pupil with the most points each week gets a certificate and a [--] minute trolley dash in the confiscated vapes room. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1746055727322681557)  2024-01-13T06:25Z 45.5K followers, 24.2K engagements


"@MusicEdu4all @AlanDapre @Teacherglitter Yes you should 😉"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1746240581653729321)  2024-01-13T18:39Z [--] followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all You may notice when you get your next payslip that you have been paid less this month. This is mainly because as a part of the restructuring we no longer pay you for the holidays. As we started back on the 8th of January youll be a few hundred pounds short. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1748365950078894519)  2024-01-19T15:25Z 45.2K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all If you are teaching Year [--] Sex Ed today please be aware that there is a mistake on the worksheet. That specific part of the female body is not called the Volvo. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/anyuser/status/1749679605974229189)  2024-01-23T06:25Z [--] followers, 12.2K engagements


"@Gwenelope Why are Toblerones triangular So they fit in the box 😉"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1751002029923639751)  2024-01-26T21:59Z 45.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The Head of Food Technology has discovered that his TLR3 payment is much less than all the other Heads of Department are getting. With this in mind we are restructuring and from September all Heads of Department will get TLR3 instead of their current 2b. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1751265053129707838)  2024-01-27T15:25Z 45.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all There has been yet another incident of cyber bullying in The Academy. This involved name calling and threats of physical violence. We take this thing very seriously and as a result we have taken the IPads off the PE department until further notice. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1754164155861393762)  2024-02-04T15:25Z 45.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Our current Boss of Information Technology Computing and Humanities Miss Johnson is leaving at the end of the year. This means there is a vacancy for a new BITCH. If you can see yourself stepping into her shoes see the VLE for more details. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1760188854147940503)  2024-02-21T06:25Z 45.6K followers, [----] engagements


"@AllisonChaseMFL Bayern May From Queen 😉"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1760309713328083180)  2024-02-21T14:25Z 45.6K followers, [---] engagements


"@LillyFed @MUCollegeofComm Congratulations 🥳 Now you can buy some new jeans 😉"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1761370481918140566)  2024-02-24T12:40Z 45.6K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all We all want The Willows to best the Academy in the country. For this reason we ask you to report for any untoward behaviour by any of our staff. Wed like you to send SLT screenshots of any social media posts which mention us and report any gossip you hear. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1764899896480428442)  2024-03-05T06:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi Subject Leaders The next GCSE Mock Exams are due to start tomorrow. Make sure your staff and students are aware of the consequences of not achieving at least a grade above their aspirational targets. Students wont be allowed to go to Prom. Staff will be made to go. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1765035791888367635)  2024-03-05T15:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Even though this is the final week of the term we will not be taking our feet of the gas. We expect to see everyone teaching [--] part lessons all pupils showing progress and all books marked up to date. Monday is twilight CPD and Tuesday and Wednesday Mocksted. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1771785014201483378)  2024-03-24T06:24Z 45.7K followers, 12K engagements


"Hi all All the ICT Technicians will be leaving The Academy at the end of the week. They will however be returning after the Easter Break on a newly negotiated agency contract where theyll be paid less for more hours. You can contact them at The Willows IT Agency. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1772510041943478461)  2024-03-26T06:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please let your classes know that our Social Media Accounts have been hacked yet again. Tomorrow is not Bring your granny to school day. Any grannies left unattended in Reception will be given Exam Invigilator jobs. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1772645937262788892)  2024-03-26T15:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The GCSE catch up lessons seem to be going well. There have been morning and afternoon sessions in core and Ebacc subjects. Staff have been pleased with the quality of the work produced and both the students have been working really hard. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1775529940567662722)  2024-04-03T14:25Z 45.7K followers, 11.3K engagements


"Hi all The most recent book check has shown that not all pupils are using the Official Academy Approved Writing Equipment. All pupils should be using a Montblanc Pix Black Rollerball in their neat books. These are available from our official suppliers from [---]. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1776617104076333432)  2024-04-06T14:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@ArianeSherine Im going to tell British Gas that I wont be paying them but I will give them free advertising on my social media next time they send me a bill"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1779474079508263169)  2024-04-14T11:37Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Remember that we really care for your mental health and well-being. Why do you think we do that yoga and you get a [--] fingered Kitkat (or similar) twice a year However we can no longer allow staff time off after-school revision sessions for medical appointments. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1786265681090289908)  2024-05-03T05:25Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We are changing the procedure for staff phoning in sick. We will no longer accept phone calls; you must fill in a Google Form at least [--] weeks in advance. Compassionate leave for bereavement will require a pathologists report and photographic evidence. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1786990456683085881)  2024-05-05T05:25Z 45.7K followers, 21K engagements


"Hi all Here is the list of people banned from attending Prom so far: Stevo Gazza Shazza Kyla Kayla Sniffer and Wonk. The rest of the Science Department will be allowed to go. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1788938291674333689)  2024-05-10T14:25Z 45.7K followers, 16.2K engagements


"Hi all We have a new starter on Monday. A Managed Move from St Hildas Institute of Technology. As you know we have an arrangement with them so its not the first time we have taken a SHIT pupil. He wont be in uniform and is allowed to wear jewellery swear and vape. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1789164784060862585)  2024-05-11T05:25Z 45.7K followers, 17.1K engagements


"Books. By me. And now a SFW teacher planner. The planner costs less than a pint of lager* * if you live in Edinburgh"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1789272825041125524)  2024-05-11T12:34Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@valleseco Thats the reason we had to let Miss Johnson go"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1790140425933607295)  2024-05-13T22:01Z 45.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Tomorrows Parents Evening will start at 3:15 and finish at 9pm. This is to give all carers the chance to attend. If you get to see all the parents of the children you teach you can mark books in your classroom. You obviously cant leave its Directed Time. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1790387843165987246)  2024-05-14T14:25Z 44.7K followers, 12.6K engagements


"Hi all As it is Mental Health Week Ive been putting up these in every office and classroom. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1790477905727783029)  2024-05-14T20:22Z 45.7K followers, 28.4K engagements


"@JDBakewell Bleach"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1791787143154581584)  2024-05-18T11:05Z 45.8K followers, [---] engagements


"@thosethatcan The Mario Conde Havana crime series by Leonardo Padura"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1792125311619920378)  2024-05-19T09:29Z 45.8K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all I just had a meeting with our feeder primaries. They tell me that last weeks SATs went well. I told them that we dont really take any notice of SAT results as they are just a measure of how Year [--] children have had their education ruined for the last [--] months. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1792562170292572249)  2024-05-20T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"@RachelOrr @Framheadteacher I love the fact youre thinking the Tories might win the election"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1794658670204399872)  2024-05-26T09:15Z 45.8K followers, [--] engagements


"Hi all It has come to our notice that some of you dont have a First Class Degree. How can we expect excellence from our pupils when our teachers are second rate It turns out the new Head of Dance only has a 2:2. Some of you will have to retrain at your own expense. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1794736497339306096)  2024-05-26T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Now that our Year [--] pupils have left some of you will have a lot of non-teaching time. Your line manager will give you a list of tasks to do which will take at least [--] times longer to complete. Therell be CCTV cameras in classrooms to check you are doing this. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1794962989734379715)  2024-05-27T05:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"@joncoupland It looks like youve already bought the James Bond Aston Martin Van(qu)ish"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1795143304671027595)  2024-05-27T17:21Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Thanks for all your hard work and cooperation with todays scheduled Lockdown Drill. Now we know which classrooms need new electronic locks. We hope to release Miss Johnson and 7D before their oxygen runs out. If only the windows werent painted shut. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1800897091171934343)  2024-06-12T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Dont forget that for tomorrows [--] hour CPD you have to bring [--] paper clips [--] treasury tags a yellow sharpie [--] yoghurt pots an empty matchbox and two dozen coloured pipe cleaners. No Ive no idea whats going on either but I wont be there and you will. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1802346642756018453)  2024-06-16T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Now that the weather is improving heres a reminder that you can find The Academy Dress Code on the VLE. The term smart business attire is used a lot. We are all professionals and we work in an Academy not down the docks after closing time on a Friday Tina. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1804022686454043018)  2024-06-21T05:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have had a lot of staff off sick today. Just to let you know we have paid the IT guys to go through the Taylor Swift concert footage and if we see any of you there youre going to be in so much trouble youll wish wed given you 9Z as your tutor group. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1804158581786481111)  2024-06-21T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"@Nigel_Farage How #askingforafriend"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1805602403405762670)  2024-06-25T14:02Z 45.8K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all We are looking for someone to take over the Eco Club in September. We had high hopes when Miss Thunberg took over but the kids have been disappointed. They just want to grow flowers and vegetables not attend protests and glue themselves to Mr Johnsons Hummer. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1806332908996612471)  2024-06-27T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all With all of the new investment in IT equipment Mr Johnson has decided to form a working party to plan best how to move forward. His group Continuing Understanding of New Technologies will meet on Tuesday at [--] in his office. Theres already a sign on the door. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1806921789349470552)  2024-06-29T05:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have been looking at your predicted GCSE Grades for the current Year [--] and [--] pupils and have decided that most of them will have to come in every day during the summer break to do catch up lessons in core subjects. I hope you havent booked any holidays. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1807782460476026954)  2024-07-01T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Dont forget today the Library moves to its new premises. We still need to empty the new room and are looking for volunteers. If you have a free [--] minutes to help move the books and know somewhere we can move the mops and buckets to wed be most grateful. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1808008952845676970)  2024-07-02T05:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all There was an error in The Academy Newsletter. The piece about Mr Johnson our Head of PE retiring which says He is outstanding in the field of sports should read He is out standing in the sports field. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1809594400097382851)  2024-07-06T14:25Z 45.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have a new Behaviour Policy which youll follow to the letter recording all positive and negative behaviour in triplicate in all of our different software (if we get a free [--] months trial). You will only be supported if all reports are filled in correctly. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1821417304204439634)  2024-08-08T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We know that many of you struggle with your Mental Health and have decided that we will check in on all employees before The Academy reopens in three weeks. Your line manager will contact you on a daily basis and give you short tasks to do for the return. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1821915587334799387)  2024-08-09T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all You may have seen on the news that Colin from 9Z took the Gold medal for skateboarding at the Paris Olympics. Sadly for him he was caught by the Gendarmerie and forced to give it back. They decided not to press charges but he did get a swift clip round the ear. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1823002751464550729)  2024-08-12T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"@FuentesZuniga1 Google"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1824741752927821950)  2024-08-17T09:35Z 45.5K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all I have almost sorted the duty teams for September. Im just waiting for the GCSE results to come in to finalise them. Basically there are two teams: PADI and FADO. Passed Appraisal Duty Inside and Failed Appraisal Duty Outside. Invest in a waterproof coat MFL. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1826264241797496890)  2024-08-21T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 19.3K engagements


"Hi all Due to some very poor GCSE results we have a vacancy for a touch freely learning mentor. Because what could improve the results of our less cooperative pupils more than letting them vape and taking them to McDonalds instead of doing MFL Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1828665061705175368)  2024-08-28T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 10.8K engagements


"Hi all From next week pupils will have to provide their own exercise books. They cost [--] per subject and are available from the office while stocks last. PP students are to be given free exercise books pens pencils rulers Red Bull lattes doughnuts and back rubs. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1829163344789414241)  2024-08-29T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Dont forget that this term we are following the advice of Paul Dix from his book When the Adults Change Everything Changes. Everyone should have a copy and we expect to see staff with their Dix out in class at all times. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1829389837037699504)  2024-08-30T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 34.3K engagements


"Hi all Even though tomorrow is a CPD Day and there are no children expected on site we would like to remind you about The Academy Dress Code: professional business attire. Your profession is Education not Porn or Prostitution Tina. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1830114613050163656)  2024-09-01T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Due to a calendar mix up the Maths Department is having a Deep Dive Learning Walks a Book Check Appraisal Observations [--] new projectors installed [--] Capability Meetings and its their Duty Day. Just another normal day in The Academy. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1834463267047023066)  2024-09-13T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The main reason we failed our last Ofsted inspection was the fact that our displays were not triple-backed and laminated. The inspector also may have commented that the vertical staples were not always at exactly [--] degrees. Please rectify this by Monday. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1834825654925169046)  2024-09-14T05:25Z 45.5K followers, 13K engagements


"Hi all To save time our Vice Assistant Principals Assistant for Quality of Learning has decided that we will judge pupils work by the number of pages they fill during a lesson. We expect [--] pages per lesson in an A4 exercise book to be the minimum expectation. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1835188043034374394)  2024-09-15T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"@MarkHamill Happy birthday. Live long and pro. oh no wait ermno thats not you is it Erm use the force yes thats it yes the force thing anyway erm yes have an awesome day 🥳🎂🎈"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1839050689986679098)  2024-09-25T21:13Z 45.5K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Todays Staff Well-Being Great Willows Bake Off was a resounding success. All of the entries were outstanding. The Food Tech teachers Miss Johnson and Miss Johnston took a long time deliberating over the results and in the end declared themselves winners. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1839310255592772048)  2024-09-26T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Now that weve been back [--] weeks the Year [--] should now be working at [--] full grades higher than at the end of Year [--]. Pupils not working at this level will attend more Catch Up sessions and anyone achieving this will have a statue of them erected in the LRC. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1839899085660451115)  2024-09-28T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all If you have a TA in your lessons you must use them properly. They should not just be doing the kids work for them. They should be creating resources planning keeping order covering lessons and planning for absent colleagues. They get almost minimum wage Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1840034980803575978)  2024-09-28T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The Health Inspectors paid their fortnightly visit to the canteen kitchens this week and gave us a [--] star hygiene rating. This has never happened before and the staff were so pleased. To celebrate they have replaced the old sponge they use to clean the plates. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1840261473295315117)  2024-09-29T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We are currently looking for a new sponsor for the boys football team. The last sponsor was UKIP and we feel the shirt slogan you lost get over it is probably not really appropriate for the Under 12s team. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1840759756769628595)  2024-09-30T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have noticed that some classes after writing the date title and learning objectives have no time to actually do any work in lessons. Therefore we have decided that teachers should get in earlier and write it all in before the day starts. HoDs will check. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1841846920425398366)  2024-10-03T14:25Z 45.5K followers, 53K engagements


"Hi all There have been some supply problems in The Academy canteen this week. Yes the pupils were accidentally served dog meat on Wednesday. This was a one off and anyway it was meat for dogs not meat from dogs. Nobody complained and Mr Johnson even went for seconds. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1842435800698614174)  2024-10-05T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Great news: Mr Johnson has received a coveted The Official Secondary Schools Educational Researchers award and is now a member. We are so proud to let everyone know something that weve known for years. Mr Johnson is officially a TOSSER. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1842934084106076417)  2024-10-06T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Happy birthday to Mr Askwith. A fine member of our SLT and the best man to be in charge of Sex Ed and Relationships at The Willows Academy Trust. @Robin_Askwith"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1845051589037273462)  2024-10-12T10:39Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Our Employee of the Half Term Award only has [--] more weeks before we choose a winner. The prize is a bottle of alcohol free Lambrini and a Freddo. The SLT of the Half Term Award will be announced of the same day with the winner getting a [--] day city break to Dubai. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1845470799073099980)  2024-10-13T14:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Our socials have been hacked again. Tomorrow is definitely not wear your pants outside your trousers day. Please inform all pupils today. If any of the PE Department comes in with their pants on the outside they probably just dressed themselves again. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1846059679186600301)  2024-10-15T05:25Z 45.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The data from this weeks GCSE Mock Mock Mocks needs to be added to the tracker before 5pm on Sunday in time for the next set of practice exams on Monday. Please make sure you have completed and emailed your latest exams analysis before Countryfile starts. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1847509230628045079)  2024-10-19T05:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Were looking for volunteers to help out at Fridays Halloween Disco. It promises to be a veritable mix of hormones tongue-kissing cheap perfume THC vapes and Lambrini. Thats enough about Tina and Janice. I imagine some of the kids might misbehave too. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1847871618413969484)  2024-10-20T05:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Can you please remind your classes that when we have a collection for the local Old Folks Retirement Complex we ideally want them to bring in money. Not relatives. Or the prematurely grey supply teacher who keeps coming back no matter how mean we are to him. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1848007514077495653)  2024-10-20T14:25Z 43.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The feedback from the most recent Student Voice tells us the canteen is not popular with all pupils. From Monday it will only serve chips Doritos Pringles cheese strings and Monster. Staff will still be able to buy their vapes from Tanya by the fire exit. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1851872984417386542)  2024-10-31T06:25Z 43.5K followers, [----] engagements


"The MFL Trip to Bruges is going well I see"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1852392235213447611)  2024-11-01T16:48Z 45.4K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We are having an immediate ban on Stuffed Support Animals. There are far too many people turning up to The Academy with teddy bears otters capybaras (whatever that is) and tigers. Its bad enough when the kids do it: we expect better from the Head of Maths. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1857308802577584563)  2024-11-15T06:25Z 44.9K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all For Children in Need Day 9Z decided to wear fancy dress and come into The Academy dressed as their favourite rapper. Boy Jayden was Eminem. Chantelle came dressed as Missy Elliott (yeah we know) and Colin was Cadburys Dairy Milk. Thanks x #ChildrenInNeed"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1857444698392002890)  2024-11-15T15:25Z 45K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Chantelle has lost her backpack. Its a Louis Vuitton Montsouris in brown. It contains her medication a big bag of Tangfastics her nunchucks a litre of foundation and her vapes. If found please take it carefully to reception. If its ticking dont touch it. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1860932681233838185)  2024-11-25T06:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Due to yet another nervous breakdown we have a vacancy for a Head of Year [--]. Theres no money in it but you get an extra hour free and youll share an office with the Head of Year [--] the Head of Year [--] the Eco Warriors Club the Samba Band and Janice. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1861430965282955438)  2024-11-26T15:25Z 44.8K followers, 24.5K engagements


"Hi all Due to us settling out of court with yet another former Willows employee we will be having non-uniform days every Friday until Christmas. [--] for the kids and [--] for staff. Were losing two TAs as well. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1861657457367621816)  2024-11-27T06:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all As you all know we RAG rate data departments and exam results with some success so were going to do it with staff appearance too. Some of you need to sort yourselves out. You get paid in a few days. Go to the Black Friday sales. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1861793353353842840)  2024-11-27T15:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Its a Black Friday Special My new book is FREE on Amazon Kindle tomorrow for one day only From around 8am for [--] hours #BlackFriday https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hi-all-Thanks-Support-Plan-ebook/dp/B0DKYTYZG7/ref=pd_ci_mcx_mh_mcx_views_0_titlepd_rd_w=kymC0&content-id=amzn1.sym.d63274d0-bf52-45e7-ae69-2bcf85c5865c%3Aamzn1.symc.ca948091-a64d-450e-86d7-c161ca33337b&pf_rd_p=d63274d0-bf52-45e7-ae69-2bcf85c5865c&pf_rd_r=4W7N6WK8D1Y964ZDJEK7&pd_rd_wg=fnH8x&pd_rd_r=e2fefc92-21ca-4c22-a08d-e16b3030e1bd&pd_rd_i=B0DKYTYZG7"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1862218336173453409)  2024-11-28T19:33Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please make sure you have your ID badge with you at all times when on the premises. This is important for two reasons: firstly for fire regulations we need to know who is in the building and secondly we need to know which teachers are not putting in the hours. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1862744620708634811)  2024-11-30T06:25Z 44.8K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Due to a number of complaints from middle-class teachers of a certain age our Head of Cookery Behaviour and Sex Education Mr Wallace is taking some time away from The Academy. Please do not contact him or chat about him to pupils or the press. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1863312110178140237)  2024-12-01T20:00Z 44.8K followers, 19.9K engagements


"Hi all As there are just [--] more weeks to go until the winter break were having a crackdown on uniform. This weeks focus is ties. They must be fastened with a Windsor knot with top buttons fastened. Some of the more popular KS4 girls seem to be wearing them as skirts. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1864330067737739334)  2024-12-04T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The link to the Health and Well-Being Advent Calendar appears to be wrong. It is a link to the Hunky Firefighters Advent Calendar. Apparently this is much better for your well-being than the original link so were keeping it. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1864556559772029058)  2024-12-05T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Congratulations to Simon Johnson in Year [--] who has been selected for the England Under [--] cricket team and will be touring Australia in January. This of course will go down as an unauthorised absence and his parents will be fined for taking him out of school. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1864918947772141836)  2024-12-06T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all The Johnson twins Vicky and Nicky in Year [--] have decided that they dont want to be called that any longer and want to be called by their proper first names from now on. Please adjust your registers to read Victoria and Nictoria. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1865281335574528063)  2024-12-07T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please ignore Colin Johnson in 9Z if he asks you where babies come from. He is doing it deliberately to embarrass staff and to make the PE department look stupid. If you have to respond tell him they come from Temu. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1865417231137743207)  2024-12-07T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@floboflo I love graphic novels and Im really looking forward to reading the Manga Carta"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1865525811832586485)  2024-12-07T22:36Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Dont forget that SEND kids are entitled to extra time in the GCSE mocks. We think its 10% extra for every issue they have. Some of them get so much extra time theyre having to bring sandwiches flasks and a sleeping bag for Mondays English exam. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1865779619707691315)  2024-12-08T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all A psychic investigator has done a study for us as to why pens explode within seconds of being given to Year [--] boys. We thought it might be to do with the aura around the growing limbic system but preliminary reports show its inks reaction to bodily fluids. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1866368499247206603)  2024-12-10T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Storm Darragh caused a lot of damage to The Academy; the bike sheds were last seen blocking the roundabout on the ring road but we know that it did not destroy all of the Geography Departments exercise books. We have CCTV of you putting them in a skip Tina. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1866504394906484827)  2024-12-10T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please remember there are to be no Christmas activities at all this term. In fact you are contractually obliged to teach right up until the final bell on the last day of term. Anyone caught teaching anything fun will have their contract terminated immediately. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1866866782864351645)  2024-12-11T15:25Z 44.7K followers, 14.5K engagements


"Hi all Chantelles mother has given us a giant tin of Quality Street for the staffroom. I shall put them in there as soon as Ive taken out all of the purple ones and swapped them for the miniature Bounty bars from my Celebrations advent calendar. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1867229170838970547)  2024-12-12T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@SteveJuggler @ukpunoff @whoelsebutalf @ScottMo68256087 @JulianLeeComedy @RichardPulsford @maxharvey79 @imacpun @colinleggo @pauleggleston Thanks for the plug Ive reposted to boost salesfor everyone 🙂👏"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1867287194056241575)  2024-12-12T19:15Z 43.9K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all If youre leaving next Friday please make sure you attend Briefing at 7:30am. The CEO will be reading out the names of those [--] staff members who are leaving us while Miss Johnson from Music plays The Last Post sarcastically on a Stylophone. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1867455662827221246)  2024-12-13T06:25Z 44.7K followers, 12.7K engagements


"Hi all There is a list of all the Year [--] pupils we think (we not you) might not achieve their targets at the end of Year [--]. They will be in for [--] days in the Christmas holiday for Catch Up Sessions. Youre all rostered to do [--] days each. They probably wont come. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1867602886009479197)  2024-12-13T16:10Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Thanks to you all for staying and taking part in last nights pushing the laptop trolley safety CPD. We honestly thought youd all get a go and be finished by 6pm. Four hours is a long time to watch people pushing a trolley safely but we got there in the end. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1867818050570911790)  2024-12-14T06:25Z 44.7K followers, 10.9K engagements


"Hi all Sadly we must say goodbye to Mr Johnson from History. To motivate the children he did an ancestry DNA test and when the results came in it seems hes wanted for questioning for [--] murders. Turns out hes not even called Johnson but Johnston. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1868316334125150504)  2024-12-15T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@TweeetsOfDogs Hercule Poirot"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1868411859021504629)  2024-12-15T21:44Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Tomorrow is The Academy Christmas Lunch. Traditionally the SLT are on hand to serve pupils and staff which brings lots of nice comments like who are the new dinner ladies and I think I saw her on Open Evening. Sadly I have an appointment elsewhere. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1868542826792792193)  2024-12-16T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all After the holidays we are updating the Toilet Pass list. Only pupils with serious medical conditions heavy smokers and Chantelle will be allowed on the list. Janice and Tina will not be added to the list. Teachers with medical conditions shouldnt be teachers. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1868678722078880136)  2024-12-16T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all From January we will no longer support you giving detentions to pupils for not completing their homework. Your lessons should be so interesting that they should want to do the homework for you. Its not the pupils who are the problem here its you. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869267602268364892)  2024-12-18T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We have decided that The Academy will be open every day in the holidays for the Pupil Premium children to get a hot lunch. Each morning at 6:30 there will be a lottery to find out which members of staff will be going in. Its the least you can do. You not us. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869403497906794742)  2024-12-18T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@CountDraculaIM"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869496076761453003)  2024-12-18T21:32Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Be careful what you say over the next few days. We have had a complaint from Stephen Johnsons mother that he heard Tina say that there was no Santa Claus and now his Christmas is ruined. To be fair we didnt expect that from the parent of the Head of Maths. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869629989915668779)  2024-12-19T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Januarys first book check is on the first day back. We will be checking random books from each year group from each member of staff. There will be Year [--] prefects staying back tomorrow to help you carry all your books to your cars. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869765885595963428)  2024-12-19T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all If youre leaving The Academy today please take your belongings because you wont be allowed back in. You can download an AI created photo of you meeting the CEO at various locations as long as you do it before 11am. This is when your password stops working. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1869992377865375892)  2024-12-20T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@ConcernedofBri1 Yup"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870105932513861713)  2024-12-20T13:56Z 44.7K followers, [--] engagements


"Hi all I hope you all have a restful and relaxing break. Also were planning deep dives for all subjects a Mocksted for the first week back in January and some of you will be going on Support Plans. Happy Christmas. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870128273767776620)  2024-12-20T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Last nights Academy Carol Service was a great success. However there were a couple of typos in the programme: Shepherds Pie Carol should have read Shepherds Pipe Carol and it should have said Little Donkey not Little Monkey. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870354765399343547)  2024-12-21T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@Ashy_slashee"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870400161140105559)  2024-12-21T09:25Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Dont forget that January 10th is the final date for Year [--] pupils to change their options subjects. If theres anyone you dont feel will achieve their target grade in your subject let us know and well put them in for French or Spanish. Or both. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870717153676329011)  2024-12-22T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@Miss_Snuffy The most interesting thing about Michaela is that I taught them everything they know"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870773403801759832)  2024-12-22T10:08Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all As part of The Academys Well Being Wednesdays were restarting Diet Club next term. Anyone we think should join has already been sent the email. Also bags will be searched for sugary snacks crisps vapes cigarettes and happy pills as you enter The Academy. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1870853049704476806)  2024-12-22T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Now you have a couple of weeks off you should probably get a shift on writing your presentations for Options Evening. You must produce an Oscar winning script. Its all about performance. Look at History. They get hundreds of pupils and none of them ever passes. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871079541491544271)  2024-12-23T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@BookTasters We had one at The Willows. It became much more popular when we swapped the books for Monster Munch and Haribos"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871182059517149630)  2024-12-23T13:12Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all Therell be some building work in The Academy next term. If you teach in one of those damp dilapidated tiny demountable classrooms youll soon have a wonderful view of our new build SLT Office block from your damp dilapidated tiny demountable classroom. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871215437176078400)  2024-12-23T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all We know that Christmas time can be a terrible time for those who live alone and have no family or close friends to share the day with. If you are in this situation there are things you can do to alleviate the stress. We recommend marking your Year [--] mock exams. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871441929533321465)  2024-12-24T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please remember that The Academy Campus will be all locked up tomorrow so dont even think of going in there for a warm or to do your laundry in the Food Tech Rooms. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871577825037471842)  2024-12-24T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Thanks so much for all your kind wishes and all the lovely gifts. Especially Tom. How did you know This still doesnt mean youre going to pass your Appraisal though. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871804317016998362)  2024-12-25T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all A Happy Christmas to all Academy Staff Now if youve got time to waste on social media you should probably make a start marking all those GCSE mock papers and Year [--] Assessments. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1871940212747800804)  2024-12-25T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Just wanted to say a huge thanks to those of you who put on the [--] hour Zoom lessons for Year [--] yesterday morning. It is much appreciated. Shame no pupils bothered to turn up. Or Maths teachers. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872166705210024240)  2024-12-26T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please sign up to six out of the eight CPD sessions on the first day back. Its the same as last year so make sure you fill in the correct Google Form. We have a lot of new staff starting [--] I think so well be doing a lot of ice breakers too. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872231003949060581)  2024-12-26T10:40Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@Baddiel Some decent competition too. 👏🙂"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872250067958247898)  2024-12-26T11:56Z 44.7K followers, [---] engagements


"Hi all From January we are restructuring the way we pay our TAs. They will only be paid for the time they are in the classroom. This means that its your responsibility to sign their time sheet marking not just their time of arrival but how much work they do too. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872302600684785769)  2024-12-26T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"@aanistotle Get your roots touched up. Dark blue skirt suit. Not too short. Not too long. [--] inch heels. Black. Patent leather. Flutter eyelashes. Wear your reddest lipstick. Works every time"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872392865642590370)  2024-12-26T21:23Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Sims is open for completing KS3 reports from [--] oclock tomorrow morning. They must be finished by 2pm. Before you start complaining this is [--] hours longer than last year. To make sure you finish them all on time you should probably type them out in Word today. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872529092811084255)  2024-12-27T06:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Starting next term weve paid some highly respected edu-celebrities to come into The Academy to provide some Ofsted Training CPD. Theyll tell us were doing great sell us their latest book cash the cheque and disappear leaving us requiring improvement again. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1872664988730405223)  2024-12-27T15:25Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please be aware that we are no longer doing end of year reports but weekly reports throughout the year. Continuous Reporting of Assessment and Progress starts in January. We think CRAP is the way forward for The Academy. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1873027377342640220)  2024-12-28T15:25Z 44.5K followers, [----] engagements


"@RevRichardColes Which look do you prefer The more formal or the chasuble 😉"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1873343478949879923)  2024-12-29T12:21Z 44.7K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Our Vice Principal in charge of MFL has been researching the positives of Languages and will present her latest findings next Monday. Benefits for All of Language Learning Skills starts at 9am. We expect her to be talking BALLS for a couple of hours. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1873752152264282399)  2024-12-30T15:25Z 44.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all To make Appraisal sound less threatening weve renamed targets New Years Resolutions. Anyone not adhering to their resolutions will find themself meeting our newly appointed Resolutions Manager who will put you on a Resolution Plan before sacking you. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1873978644718293185)  2024-12-31T06:25Z 44.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Our Assistant Vice Assistant to the Assistant Vice Principals Assistant Head of Unnecessary Paperwork has created a new pdf format for Schemes of Learning and Lesson Plans. They are to be completed in triplicate from next week. Theyll be available from Monday. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1874703420151734625)  2025-01-02T06:25Z 44.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Contrary to popular belief we will not be breathalysing staff as they enter The Academy next week. This has nothing to do with trust its just that when we last used the breathalyser at the Christmas Party Janice breathed into it and it started to dissolve. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1874839315890532506)  2025-01-02T15:25Z 44.6K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please remember that all lesson plans must include a seating plan which needs to be colour coded to identify all the different groups of students. Also from Monday due to budget restrictions you are only permitted to print in black and white. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1875065807668985902)  2025-01-03T06:25Z 44.5K followers, [----] engagements


"Hi all Please inform groups that Mr Johnsons Philosophy Club will not be continuing in the new term. There was absolute chaos last time when Boy Jayden said that his philosophy was like that of Wittgenstein and Chantelle said in her opinion he was more of a Kant. Thanks x"  
[X Link](https://x.com/NewbieSlt/status/1875201703668285569)  2025-01-03T15:25Z 44.5K followers, [----] engagements

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