@fesshole Fesshole🧻

Fesshole🧻 posts on X about in the, nirvana, sweden, stockholm the most. They currently have [---------] followers and [---] posts still getting attention that total [-------] engagements in the last [--] hours.

Engagements: [-------] #

[--] Week [----------] +20%
[--] Month [----------] +33%
[--] Months [-----------] +0.85%
[--] Year [-----------] -64%

Mentions: [---] #

[--] Week [---] -13%
[--] Month [---] +8%
[--] Months [-----] +67%
[--] Year [-----] -16%

Followers: [---------] #

[--] Week [---------] -0.04%
[--] Month [---------] -0.19%
[--] Months [---------] -0.53%
[--] Year [---------] -0.49%

CreatorRank: [------] #

Social Influence

Social category influence musicians 5.18% travel destinations 4.38% countries 3.19% cryptocurrencies 3.19% technology brands 1.99% finance 1.2% stocks 0.8% celebrities 0.8% automotive brands 0.4% social networks 0.4%

Social topic influence in the #3526, nirvana 5.18%, sweden #155, stockholm #24, secret #4207, history 2.79%, all the 1.99%, to the #2274, band 1.99%, $btc 1.99%

Top accounts mentioned or mentioned by @wolf_bitcoin_ @qe4everyone @devengineoz @ladytraderra @datmorganx @cryptolandy @sailormancrypto @cvotrades @thinkinvest_ @junkenstein72 @wolf_financial @flea333 @wolfbitcoin @tonyseverinocmt @northstarcharts @crazyglazier @tradewrichard @aladepepe @wafflesinfo @the_komidian

Top assets mentioned Bitcoin (BTC) Cardano (ADA) Ethereum (ETH) Alphabet Inc Class A (GOOGL) Solana (SOL)

Top Social Posts

Top posts by engagements in the last [--] hours

"I do vegan December to get out of having to eat turkey which is a disgusting meat. I make up for it in January by having pork pies for breakfast AND lunch"
X Link 2026-01-30T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 81.1K engagements

"Husband has skanky old t-shirts he won't throw away. Leaves on the floor instead of in laundry basket. Guess what I'm using for puppy's new tug toys Plausible deniability"
X Link 2026-01-30T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 111.7K engagements

"DPD tells you the name of the driver that'll deliver your parcel. I quite like to thank them by name when they hand it over to freak them out a little. Always gets an awkward smile"
X Link 2026-01-30T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 100K engagements

"A messy night out ended with a random Chinese which was more swallowed whole than chewed due to my drunken state. After next days afternoon beer shit I went for my first wipe which in turn pulled out a whole semi digested shitty long stem of asparagus out of my puckered arsehole"
X Link 2026-01-30T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 225.8K engagements

"I occasionally visit a sex worker in an apartment in a suburban area in middle England I've just looked on google earth and noticed my car parked in its usual place by said apartment when I visit her"
X Link 2026-01-30T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 815.9K engagements

"Come to Fesshole Live in [----] Tickets on sale for Glasgow Leicester Luton Leeds & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malm Gteborg and Stockholm and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow. Best of Fesshole audience confessions secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole"
X Link 2026-01-31T04:25Z 1.1M followers, 62.8K engagements

"Wife was happy when our 36yo son moved out. When we visited him he had turned his dining room into a war hammer battle room & the spare bedroom a retro gaming room. Wife was furious saying his house is like a nerdy teen's bedroom. Secretly I'm jealous he is living my fantasy"
X Link 2026-01-31T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 926K engagements

"I am a woman in the process of setting my life up to avoid men. The Grok undressing women and children thing just solidified something for me. Every man who thinks that is ok should be on a register"
X Link 2026-01-31T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 247.5K engagements

"Make sure you show your tattoos in your dating profile please. Last week I wasted an hour and a coffee on a someone who had a knuckle tattoo"
X Link 2026-01-31T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 110.9K engagements

"It is a testament to the creativity and power of radio advertising that if my wife fancies a shag she now asks if I want to come upstairs to see her new Wickes kitchen"
X Link 2026-01-31T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 155.2K engagements

"When I have Eczema behind my ear I let my dog lick it and it heals it quicker than when using the cream the doctor gave me"
X Link 2026-01-31T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 144.2K engagements

"My [--] year old son is an absolute nightmare and will only sleep attached to my partner. When he wakes up crying in the middle of the night I take the opportunity to sleep downstairs in my office claiming there's 'no room'. I just love sleeping on the sofa like I'm back at uni"
X Link 2026-01-31T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 117K engagements

"Went camping in [----]. Didn't shit for [--] days. Driving home we stopped at a tearoom run by a little old lady. My bowels relaxed and I filled that poor woman's toilet to the brim. Leaving she wished us well and said how she was exhausted after a busy day. Sorry little old lady"
X Link 2026-01-31T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 283.1K engagements

"I've lost twenty five kilos last year dieting. People think they're complimenting me when they say I look so much better but it just hurts my feelings because I thought I carried it well"
X Link 2026-01-31T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 144.7K engagements

"My dad's fess. In the 80s he and my uncle left a bar in Edinburgh after a Christmas night out. He noticed a double decker bus parked up outside a social club and the driver had gone to collect his party. He took the bus home and left it on a residential street near the house"
X Link 2026-01-31T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 221.1K engagements

"The best thing about moving to the countryside is getting a log burner but we get through loads of newspaper. So I now take midnight walks to the local train station and steal the newspapers they leave out. The best time is Saturday night with all the dense weekend papers"
X Link 2026-01-31T21:25Z 1.1M followers, 142.4K engagements

"I'm dead against the proposed new housing development near us but the group formed in opposition to it is so full of flag-shaggers illiterates reactionaries and general numpties that I'm actually coming around to the idea that some new neighbours might be a good thing"
X Link 2026-02-01T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 201.8K engagements

"Lost my cat in the divorce. He's "run away" because "he's not getting on with the new girlfriend's dog". I have just "found" him curled up in the back of my car asleep"
X Link 2026-02-01T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 681.6K engagements

"At my last job there were tales of a "phantom shitter" going back years. Some unknown person who used to shit in random places. It had apparently not happened for a while so I secretly took up the mantle knowing as it pre-dated me I'd be beyond suspicion"
X Link 2026-02-01T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 715.2K engagements

"Went into dominos to pick up my order. Wasn't ready yet noticed someone called David hadn't picked theirs up yet. Messaged my mate out in the car and he came in and collected David's order. We ended up with double the pizza"
X Link 2026-02-01T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 479.5K engagements

"Only child. Parents gone. Diagnosed with stage [--] cancer recently. One of the many thoughts that then was swirling around my head was an excited "oooh I'm going to be the centre of attention again""
X Link 2026-02-01T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 324.6K engagements

"If you're sitting in front of me on a flight and without giving a polite cursory look over your shoulder you recline your chair back into my face I will be rolling up and dropping bogeys in your hair for the remainder of the flight"
X Link 2026-02-01T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 161.5K engagements

"I hated my replacement wheelchair at first. But then I realised the metal rims stick out further than my old one and are great for scratching the paint off of any cars and vans parked across a pavement I'm using. Had it a month and racked up [--] cars and [--] works vans. [---] stars"
X Link 2026-02-02T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 264.7K engagements

"If I had a pound for every football league ground I'd wanked in I would have [--]. Which might not sound like much but I'd imagine it's more than you'd have"
X Link 2026-02-02T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 215.2K engagements

"No one told me it wasn't cider in the brown plastic bottles being thrown around at Reading Festival [----]. Soon learned"
X Link 2026-02-02T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 143.3K engagements

"I work from home. I would never be so unprofessional as to play video games on a 2nd screen during work hours. Instead I stay up all night playing Football Manager in bed and sleep at my desk during work hours"
X Link 2026-02-03T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 187K engagements

"Been basically vegetarian for years but sneak the occasional Greggs or KFC. The thrill of being caught and shamed adds to the flavour so the closer to our place the better. Decided to tell the wife I've gone full veggie officially so I can ride a bigger high"
X Link 2026-02-03T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 96.9K engagements

"Software engineer here. It was pretty obvious the volume of spam calls was going to go through the roof with AI being ubiquitous. So I always try some prompt injection when they call me. Proudest achievement was a [--] minute recital of the digits of pi"
X Link 2026-02-04T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 249.5K engagements

"We use a spreadsheet at work where cells are coloured to show status. Two members of the team will just colour the entire row - all 16k columns - rather than just the necessary cells. It's a petty thing but I want to murder both of them"
X Link 2026-02-05T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 172.2K engagements

"My ex passed away last year I found out a month later. Ever since I have been going to his then girlfriends social media accounts everyday because she's my last connection to him it's now become an obsession. We've never met and I had to make a spam account to do it"
X Link 2025-06-16T07:25Z 1.1M followers, 249.4K engagements

"Married for [--] years we've spiced up our sex life by writing erotic fiction to each other. Discovered we're both far more depraved than either previously realised. Highly recommended"
X Link 2026-01-01T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 524.4K engagements

"Years ago I developed shooting pains down my left arm and went to A&E on the insistance of my Dad who had heart problems. I was given the all clear by a heart specialist who said it was a muscular issue. Only then I realised it was due to excessive masturbation"
X Link 2026-01-30T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 136K engagements

"I was in my 40s before I realised that 'absent friends' at weddings were actually dead rather than unable to make it"
X Link 2026-02-03T21:25Z 1.1M followers, 195.1K engagements

"Everytime I'm cooking or preparing food I imagine Gordon Ramsay next to me going OTT with praise about my techniques and ingredients even if I'm just buttering toast"
X Link 2026-02-04T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 69.2K engagements

"Got a recurring abscess on the roof of my mouth. Can't bring myself to go to the dentist because I love the feeling of popping it every couple of days"
X Link 2026-02-06T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 94K engagements

"I've had sex with dozens of men many of whom said sexy things to me and asked me to do sexy things. The hottest thing a man said to me was this simple and sincere request: "Can you please let your hair down It's so pretty." I think about it frequently"
X Link 2026-01-24T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 1.4M engagements

"Agreed to a threesome with my wife. Mid spit-roast I decided I wasn't into it as she was enjoying the blow job a bit too much so thrust harder to make it harder for her. Of course I soon finished so had to sit in the corner watching her nosh off for another ten minutes. Grim"
X Link 2026-01-26T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 446.1K engagements

"I wrote off my car because I was distracted by a woman's chest. I'm a happily married mum of two but I was suddenly mesmerised by them. I can't even say I was looking at her top she just had a wonderful pair of boobs"
X Link 2026-01-30T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 156.7K engagements

"I'm a lollipop lady. I always make sure I stop the Teslas. Fuck Elon Musk"
X Link 2026-02-02T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 190.6K engagements

"I am from a country formerly colonised by the British one famous for tea. I have found that the best way to annoy British people is to casually drop a teabag in a mug of cold water and stick it in the microwave. I don't even like tea. I do it just for the trolling entertainment"
X Link 2026-02-02T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 177.7K engagements

"I have a thing for a type of shoe I've noticed their popularity follows a [--] year cycle and always preceded by one brand becoming popular. In the last year they have been popular again this is bittersweet as my age means this will be the last time I'll see people wearing them"
X Link 2026-02-03T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 326.4K engagements

"Work colleague is obsessed with Prince Harry and his rapidly balding head. Getting regular updates on the level of bald with every new image published. Can't tell her H's head looks like my ex's ballsack as I'm trying to forget about him"
X Link 2026-02-03T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 100.5K engagements

"On behalf on my [--] year old daughter whose teacher says she dawdles and daydreams. Apparently she is doing this so she is kept in at break time and doesn't have to go out in the cold. I fear she may be an evil genius"
X Link 2026-02-03T12:25Z 1.1M followers, 181.7K engagements

"I am a runner. When I go uphill I move my right arm in a forward circular motion. I'm pretending to be a train. I'm also I'm my mind going choo-chooooooo"
X Link 2026-02-03T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 77.8K engagements

"I find it hard to find greetings cards for my mum that express how I really feel. There a lot of 'Best mum ever' cards not many say 'Thanks for fulfilling your legal obligations' or 'At least you weren't violent'"
X Link 2026-02-03T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 144.4K engagements

"My work building is on an enclosed site with no shops. They have never reopened the canteen since Covid so there's no way to buy lunch on site. I therefore take 20mins out of work time every day to drive out to the shops"
X Link 2026-02-03T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 177.4K engagements

"I have a tendency to fart at the point of orgasm. Embarrassed at first but my boyfriend now takes it as confirmation that he's done a good job and is very disappointed when I don't corroborate my climax with a trumpet blast"
X Link 2026-02-04T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 167.4K engagements

"I sniff my cat's bum because I read somewhere it increases bonding. Not sure if it worked pretty sure it's not necessary"
X Link 2026-02-04T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 76.5K engagements

"Brother and I got a McDonalds and landed number [--] ticket. We stood pretending to zone out on our phones while the poor guy had to call it out repeatedly louder each time to a packed restaurant. We're both in our mid-40s. Sorry"
X Link 2026-02-04T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 175.2K engagements

"I work at a major body. As a good deed we regularly give our old computers to local cash-strapped schools. I used to assign only the best to my child's school. Due to their poor response to my child being bullied I now ensure that school only gets the shittiest machines"
X Link 2026-02-04T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 182.3K engagements

"I've been a stage hand for a while now. Every time I do a mic check I say something like "hey google set an alarm for 3am". Serves them right for enabling a stupid feature with no secuirty"
X Link 2026-02-04T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 176.2K engagements

"While unemployed I've picked up a hobby that involves receiving a ton of parcels. I've grown so embarrassed by how often the postie sees me in sweatpants and disheveled hair that I now regularly pretend I'm out when he knocks"
X Link 2026-02-04T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 109.2K engagements

"I own a pair of polyester socks that i absolutely hate. They are the most uncomfortable ugly socks one could imagine. I do however wear them all the time as I am too cheap to throw away a perfectly fine pair of socks before they are worn out"
X Link 2026-02-04T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 92.9K engagements

"Just finishing my third week as a senior leader in a really great tech job. Feeling on top of the world. Today I realised I have mistakenly been using the ladies loo"
X Link 2026-02-04T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 97.8K engagements

"My [--] year old son is receiving lots of praise from my wife for telling his teacher that an older student was selling sweets in the playground. I praised him too but truthfully I'm ashamed of him the little grass"
X Link 2026-02-05T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 219.5K engagements

"I once stayed silent during sex because correcting them on my name felt more awkward than letting them finish confidently calling me the wrong one"
X Link 2026-02-05T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 111.8K engagements

"At work I manage a team. I was asked to give up a couple of team members to help other departments and have some interns as replacements. Managed to get rid of the more useless members of the team whilst passing them off as vital to me. Win win"
X Link 2026-02-05T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 113.7K engagements

"Son turns [--] next week.Went into the toilet after him and saw a huge jobby staring up at me. Got emotional when I realised that I hadn't seen one of his jobbies since he was a toddler.Then I had a rush of pride as I realised how big it was.Went through and gave him a big hug"
X Link 2026-02-05T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 327.6K engagements

"My wife caught me lying to her. Can't remember what. Something fairly trivial. She was horrified & declared I never used to lie & this was an awful moment in our marriage. Reader. I've always lied about minor stuff like why I'm late etc I'd clearly just never been caught"
X Link 2026-02-05T21:25Z 1.1M followers, 145.4K engagements

"I go to a 'private club' about once a month [--] miles from home to make sure everything is discreet. Last month I saw my son's maths teacher there. Parents evening is going to be awkward but what happens in the club stays in the club"
X Link 2026-02-05T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 356.7K engagements

"Girlfriend emailed me a marriage proposal. Thought she was joking so said sure why not. Been happily married more than a decade now my misunderstanding worked out great"
X Link 2026-02-06T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 156.3K engagements

"When I had to write up my dissertation as a university student I went to Argos and purchased a decent word processor. Spent [--] weeks typing it up and once I'd finished I took it back and got a 100% refund under their '16 day returns policy'. Thank you Argos"
X Link 2026-02-06T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 144.3K engagements

"When I'm in the queue at Greggs and can see the wait is going to be more than [--] minutes I order through the app for a collection slot [--] minutes ahead leave the queue take a seat and wait for my order to be called skipping past the queue entirely"
X Link 2026-02-06T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 127K engagements

"Each night I bid my daughters (5 and 8) goodnight with "goodnight sleep tight don't let the rats eat the skin off your face". In my mind I'm being a silly "fun dad" but part of me wonders if I might actually be a daft cunt who shouldn't have been allowed to raise children"
X Link 2026-02-06T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 168.7K engagements

"As a teenager made the local paper as a "hero" for tripping up some smackhead after he robbed an old lady's handbag. In reality I didn't even know he'd robbed anyone I was just a twat who thought it would be funny to stick my leg out when I saw him running"
X Link 2026-02-06T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 175.5K engagements

"I've managed to convince my [--] year old he shouldn't touch the hoover. Now all he wants to do is the hoovering. He's just asked if he can do the whole house on Sunday I replied "if you have to" Not sure if this is a cleaning hack or gas lighting and child abuse"
X Link 2026-02-06T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 147.8K engagements

"Relations give my kids far too many toys every Christmas most of which are quickly forgotten about. The discarded toys get added to a bag in the attic and regifted at kids birthday parties throughout the year. Saves a fortune and clears the house of plastic crap so win win"
X Link 2026-02-06T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 98.2K engagements

"I feel as though me the Beckhams and the my fam move in different circles if they think Brooklyn's mum dancing weird ruined the wedding. I've been to a wedding where the bride's mother got her tits out and punched the cake"
X Link 2026-02-06T21:25Z 1.1M followers, 185.2K engagements

"I've left my half full piss bottle in the supermarket delivery box twice now. Both customers have been too kind to complain or the office team don't bother passing those complaints along"
X Link 2026-02-06T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 138.7K engagements

"Couldn't understand why so many of my socks were getting holes in so blamed my wife for loading the washing machine badly. The realised I badly needed to trim my toenails"
X Link 2026-02-07T12:25Z 1.1M followers, 82.8K engagements

"I kept all my family's wrapping paper one Christmas. Then I went back to university in January and literally wallpapered it onto the walls. It was a terrible choice done badly. But it made me happy for a solid [--] months. Then I got charged for taking it down and redecorating"
X Link 2026-02-07T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 101K engagements

"Afflicted with misophonia since a teen. Loud eating drives me up the wall. My son chomps and chews with reckless abandon slapping his chops gleefully. Mrs says I can't say anything because it will shame him but I think he needs to learn to eat in a more civilised way. Raging"
X Link 2026-02-07T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 142.7K engagements

"Moved to London from Scotland after Uni. Recently came across the death notice of an old friend online. Couldn't attend the funeral so I got all of the London-based school friends together for a drink in his honour. Turned out it wasn't him just someone with the same name"
X Link 2026-02-07T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 205.5K engagements

"Despite being together a long time I've only just noticed that my husband can't use a knife and fork correctly. He uses the knife to tear food apart rather than cut it and I die a little more inside every time"
X Link 2026-02-07T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 107.5K engagements

"Back at uni my flatmate just pissed me off. No idea why but he just rubbed me up the wrong way whenever we spoke. So one night I got totally wasted and shat in his teapot. Woke up with so much guilt that I spent the whole morning scrubbing it shiny clean before the prank landed"
X Link 2026-02-07T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 163.6K engagements

"Got something to admit Head here to fess up: http://b3ta.com/addfess http://b3ta.com/addfess"
X Link 2026-02-08T12:00Z 1.1M followers, 44K engagements

"I've recently changed my Siri voice to Irish Female. My wife has basically accused me of having an affair"
X Link 2026-02-08T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 105.2K engagements

"I was [--] when I learned that REM hadn't named themselves after Rare Earth Minerals like our GCSE chemistry teacher told us"
X Link 2026-02-08T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 103.3K engagements

"I have an unhealthy interest in the Amazon Firestick screensaver photos. I can identify 99.9% of the locations. I have categorised them in various different ways. My family does not share my interest"
X Link 2026-02-08T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 87.9K engagements

"Sat in a small welfare cabin at work farted and it set off the CO2 alarm on the wall just behind me. Gutted there was nobody there to witness my life's crowning moment"
X Link 2026-02-09T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 126.1K engagements

"I'm really bad at my job beyond the usual imposter syndrome. I used to worry about this but if you manage to blag your way through probation truth is most people including managers are nearly always either too bad at their own jobs or too busy to notice anybody else"
X Link 2026-02-09T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 167.9K engagements

"Hubby has worried for years about my knife skills & how I might cut off a finger. I laugh it off but he bought me a new (very sharp) knife set for Xmas. I've lost a nail & my hands look like I've been high fiving Edward Scissorhands daily. Can't tell him. He'll be insufferable"
X Link 2026-02-09T19:25Z 1.1M followers, 144K engagements

"I've no idea why one end of the gusset on knickers isn't sewn shut but it's dead useful. When I worked a market stall I'd pop into the loos at the end of the day and put a roll of [--] notes in there for safe keeping on my way home"
X Link 2026-02-10T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 232.3K engagements

"Most exciting day of my life was when I overslept for college so I had to ninja sneak around the house to avoid my mum until 3pm when I jumped out my bedroom window and came in the front door as if I was coming home. I'm [--] soon and I think about that day at least once a week"
X Link 2026-02-11T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 152.4K engagements

"The man from Laser Quest didn't use the word shoot when he explained the rules. I knew I'd have terrible aim so didn't even try and just used the rifle like a cudgel. He said that I was the most violent girl he'd ever seen. Three boys got bloody noses and I broke one's wrist"
X Link 2026-02-11T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 162.4K engagements

"Years ago my allotment neighbour caused us huge amounts of trouble saying part of our plot was theirs complaining about my kids robbing stuff and just being shits. Since then I sign them up for every subscription email list I see. Hopefully their email is unusable by now"
X Link 2026-02-11T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 122.5K engagements

"As I get into my mid 60s some people think it funny or embarrassing that I still wear my old punk gear including studded wristband and bullet belt. It's actually for leaving the odd scratch on one particular posh car that parks right outside my driveway. Vive le rock"
X Link 2026-02-12T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 109.2K engagements

"I'm [--] and live at home. Came home blocked after a night out with the girls and got undressed. I needed to spew so staggered to bathroom starkers. Spewing woke my Dad who held back my hair and helped me get into my jammies and into bed. Hasn't mentioned it since. Love you Dad. x"
X Link 2026-02-13T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 585.3K engagements

"A calculation website told me that today I have lived exactly the same amount of years and days that my mother lived. Assuming I wake up tomorrow morning I will begin a day she never experienced. That makes me feel far weirder than actually getting old"
X Link 2026-02-13T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 164K engagements

"Every time one of my friends announces yet another pregnancy I internally scream because it means more years of them being extremely boring to hang out with as they literally have nothing else to talk about or the kids are there too and we have to amuse them"
X Link 2026-02-14T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 141.5K engagements

"Wife bought me a shirt for Christmas it's the colour my football team's rivals wear. She didn't do it on purpose but I die a little every time I have to wear it"
X Link 2026-02-14T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 81.9K engagements

"I weigh myself before and after taking a shit then log the resulting daily shit weight in a little book. I have ten years data on my output which I regularly analyse. Otherwise I'm a regular guy Conservative Parish Councillor and justice of the peace"
X Link 2026-02-14T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 105.5K engagements

"I know it's petty but the way my husband holds a fajita absolutely pisses me off. He cups the bottom squishes it then shoved it in his mouth. I can't even look at him when he has one any more"
X Link 2026-02-15T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 87.7K engagements

"I'm [--] and still don't know my right from my left. I routinely make an L shape with both hands to work out which side is left"
X Link 2026-02-15T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 80.6K engagements

"I am a lorry delivery driver. I tell you that we can see what you are doing in your car. There are many people who eat to much whilst driving and there are many gross peoples who are naked at the waist or touching themself. We take photos and share at end of day"
X Link 2026-02-15T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 234.3K engagements

"I was so pissed off with the nib that came with this otherwise good fountain pen that I've decided to brush off my O-Level metalwork skills and make my own. Just spec'd up a shed. This is going to cost me north of 10k but I'll show those bastards at Bock"
X Link 2026-02-16T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 123K engagements

"I had a phase in the late 80s when I did a load of drugs and booze. Rented a room in North London and moved all my stuff in went on a bender lost my paperwork and could not find the place afterwards. My car was outside too never found that either"
X Link 2026-01-28T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 806.4K engagements

"I've got a literal wank bank - A Post Office savings account I pay [--] into every time I knock one out. It's a nice little savings pot of about [--] grand a year"
X Link 2026-02-01T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 239.5K engagements

"Recently bought a used Audi A3 hybrid because it was a surprisingly good bargain. I now spend my days being outrageously courteous to other road users because I don't want to be lumped in with those other shit heads"
X Link 2026-02-02T11:25Z 1.1M followers, 117.5K engagements

"I've boycotted a florist/greengrocer in my home town for 30+ years after they treated my brother like shit on a Saturday job. No idea if it's the same owners but fuck em"
X Link 2026-02-02T12:25Z 1.1M followers, 138K engagements

"Got divorced [--] years ago. It was the right decision. Celebrating with a lower back tattoo now feels like a bad choice though. Very expensive to remove"
X Link 2026-02-02T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 109.6K engagements

"I have been a shift worker since I was [--]. It has gotten me out of countless family events birthday parties or things that I just don't want to go to. Don't fancy doing something I'll just say I'm at work even if I'm not. Best decision I've ever made"
X Link 2026-02-02T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 149.7K engagements

"I was about [--] or [--]. My mum was acting weird she looked in the mirror in the hall and spoke out loud saying that she looked pale. Then she went for a nap. I decided to be a good girl and make her look pretty. I painted pink nail varnish circles on her cheeks as she slept"
X Link 2026-02-02T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 1.1M engagements

"Sainsbury's year end review made me realise how much of a fatty I am number [--] item was caramel tarts. Number [--] buyer in the whole of England"
X Link 2026-02-03T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 186.4K engagements

"Guy iI worked with and have on Facebook was jailed for being a nonce. Only reason I haven't unfriended him is to laugh at the people who wish him Happy Birthday every year and are blatantly unaware of why he's not replying"
X Link 2026-02-03T18:25Z 1.1M followers, 203.1K engagements

"I bought some satin bed sheets because I thought they'd be sexy. I went to bed went to sleep and then slid onto the floor. I'm now trying to book physiotherapy for my shoulder"
X Link 2026-02-05T10:25Z 1.1M followers, 99.4K engagements

"I only found out about the "six sevennnnn" phenomenon when the Prime Minister did it at that school and it got on the news. I am less cool than Keir Starmer"
X Link 2026-02-05T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 91.6K engagements

"Staying with boyfriend at his brother's house I started my period during the night and drenched the mattress. We flipped the mattress and never confessed"
X Link 2026-02-05T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 124.8K engagements

"Female teacher here. When in real life I accidentally let slip something inappropriate for the company I'm in like the fact that I know what Fake Taxi is I blame it on spending too much time with teenagers. It's actually because I spend too much time on the internet duh"
X Link 2026-02-06T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 212K engagements

"I work from home. My husband sometimes also works from home & my peace & freedom is shattered (he won't let me put radio or tv on etc) so when he's home I've now invented calls I need to go to & spend the day doing me things. I've been to a spa shopping lunch cinema beach etc"
X Link 2026-02-06T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 167K engagements

"I'm an English teacher. My perspective is that all of Shakespeare's comedies are appalling sub Benny Hill shit and they're all the same. His tragedies are great. Furthermore people who laugh at the "jokes" at theatres are possibly even worse than "Live Laugh Love" dullards"
X Link 2026-02-07T14:25Z 1.1M followers, 143.3K engagements

"I score weddings and funerals on a scale of [--] to [--] stars. Funerals always score more highly. They're cheap you get time off work there's free food and you don't have to buy a present. You get to meet all the same people as at weddings and there's no shitty disco"
X Link 2026-02-07T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 534.2K engagements

"I share an unusual name with a famous actor. On three occasions hundreds of thousands of pounds meant for him have turned up in my bank account. I always wait about five days before reporting it. I usually earn about [--] interest in that time"
X Link 2026-02-07T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 724.9K engagements

"Not mine but my old man didn't find out women got periods until he was 28"
X Link 2026-02-07T22:25Z 1.1M followers, 97.2K engagements

"My local newspaper has been sharing non-local news for some time. I play a fun game where I measure the furthest area covered on their site away from the area. It was [---] miles away Edinburgh but it's just been smashed by a news story in Bangkok [----] miles away"
X Link 2026-02-08T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 103K engagements

"Girlfriend dumped me on account of my chronic farting. I was depressed for a few days and didn't go out and didn't have any milk or cheese in the fridge. No farting. I've since cut out Yazoo and Nesquick and barely fart at all these days. Who says men can't gain self knowledge"
X Link 2026-02-08T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 353.9K engagements

"Our cat's dying and will have to be put down. But the vet's assured me that we can have the body back. I want to remove her sweet little nose cast it in transparent acrylic and display it on our coffee table"
X Link 2026-02-11T09:25Z 1.1M followers, 99.7K engagements

"I work for a well known multinational corporation that makes a number of household cleaning products. I can confirm that those powdered shake on the carpet and vacuum up deodourisers and cat litter tray deodouriser powder are exactly the same product"
X Link 2026-02-11T13:25Z 1.1M followers, 88.2K engagements

"Lad got off the bus & forgot his coat. I ran after him to give him it & not even a thank you. AND the bus almost drove away as I got back. Two weeks later he forgot his coat again this time I didn't run after him and left his coat on the seat. Should've thanked me first time"
X Link 2026-02-11T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 201K engagements

"Use grocery delivery services when they have good discount codes. Sometimes just want to have wine but embarrassed to order only that so I add to the order all kinds of healthy food to look like I have a nutritious diet or about to cook nice meal. Probably not the only one"
X Link 2026-02-11T17:25Z 1.1M followers, 70.7K engagements

"Upgraded the WiFi gear in the house to some top stuff. Unexpected consequence is that I can now see all the porn sites visiting family members visit when they're on our WiFi and how much data they view. Not cool"
X Link 2026-02-12T20:25Z 1.1M followers, 338.8K engagements

"I work a specialist admin job in a large university. After several restructurings I was left without a line manager. I think they just forgot about me. Not been given any work in three years. I just turn up occasionally and work a few side hustles from the office"
X Link 2026-02-13T23:25Z 1.1M followers, 565.2K engagements

"I feed my toenails to the dog and my earwax to the cat thought nothing of it as we all do it in my family. First time my girlfriend saw this she mental apeshit and dumped me"
X Link 2026-02-16T15:25Z 1.1M followers, 69.1K engagements

"My robot hoover recognises and avoids shoes. So rather than tidy other stuff off the floor I build a defensive barrier of shoes"
X Link 2026-02-16T16:25Z 1.1M followers, 46.7K engagements

"NIN: "Cars" with Gary Numan"
X Link 2026-02-10T02:26Z 17.3K followers, 47.7K engagements

"Pearl Jam on SNL '94 This was about a week after Kurt Cobain had died. Eddie wrote KURDT on his guitar headstock as homage"
X Link 2026-02-15T02:25Z 17.3K followers, 135.2K engagements

"Top [--] bands you've seen live Depeche Mode R.E.M. NIN U2 [---] The Cure Garbage Tears for Fears Jane's Addiction Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers"
X Link 2023-07-02T02:42Z 17.2K followers, 409.7K engagements

"Smashing Pumpkins released [----] on this day 1996"
X Link 2026-01-23T03:08Z 17.3K followers, 168.2K engagements

"Pat Smear's first time live with Nirvana was on SNL '93"
X Link 2026-02-01T03:05Z 16.9K followers, 40.5K engagements

"Nirvana's last tv performance '94"
X Link 2026-02-02T02:58Z 17.3K followers, 25.9K engagements

"Alice In Chains released Sap on this day '92"
X Link 2026-02-04T03:06Z 17.2K followers, 12.6K engagements

"What's the first CD you played over and over"
X Link 2026-02-08T03:25Z 16.9K followers, [----] engagements

"90s tours. Pick one Deftones/Black Sabbath Alice In Chains/Van Halen Radiohead/R.E.M Marilyn Manson/NIN Foo Fighters/RHCP Soundgarden/Guns & Roses The Breeders/Nirvana Limp Bizkit/Faith No More Mudhoney/Pearl Jam Blind Melon/Pearl Jam Garbage/Smashing Pumpkins Pixies/U2"
X Link 2026-02-14T02:38Z 17.3K followers, 10.6K engagements

"Flea and John with Omar from The Mars Volta 2004"
X Link 2025-03-15T02:13Z 17.3K followers, 278.6K engagements

"Living Colour on Late Show with Letterman '93"
X Link 2025-02-09T02:17Z 17.3K followers, 102.7K engagements

"Tool might be the best band around these days"
X Link 2025-07-07T02:11Z 17.3K followers, 557.2K engagements

"Them Bones was released on this day '92"
X Link 2025-08-31T01:07Z 17.3K followers, 26.4K engagements

"The Smashing Pumpkins Muzzle Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness '95"
X Link 2025-10-05T01:53Z 17.3K followers, 28.5K engagements

"Nirvana's MTV Unplugged was released on this day '94"
X Link 2025-11-01T02:04Z 17.3K followers, 69.6K engagements

"Pick one '92"
X Link 2026-02-07T03:12Z 17.3K followers, 44.8K engagements

"Name guitarists who excel at both lead and rhythm guitar"
X Link 2026-02-08T02:34Z 17.3K followers, 34.8K engagements

"Kurt met Scott in '93 backstage and said "so your the guy they say sounds just like me" with a smile on his face "so where's my cut" Scott reached in his pocket and handed him a crinkled up dollar"
X Link 2026-02-16T02:48Z 17.3K followers, 226.8K engagements

"@SmashingPumpkin @Billy Trent Reznor"
X Link 2026-02-05T22:57Z 16.8K followers, [---] engagements

"The first ever Lollapalooza took place on this day '91"
X Link 2021-07-18T04:03Z 17.3K followers, [----] engagements

"Dave Grohl with Nirvana for the first time live '90"
X Link 2023-04-23T02:50Z 17.3K followers, 96.1K engagements

"Pearl Jam '91 Tower Records"
X Link 2025-02-25T02:09Z 17.3K followers, 35K engagements

"Ozzy '92 Mike Inez from AiC came up with this riff. First album Ozzy did sober. Zakk shines on this album"
X Link 2025-07-26T03:13Z 17.3K followers, 123.2K engagements

"Nirvana on this day '91 Reading One month before Nevermind was released"
X Link 2025-08-23T00:40Z 17.3K followers, 223.3K engagements

"One of the best songs by Nirvana"
X Link 2025-09-29T02:28Z 17.3K followers, 38K engagements

"What's your favorite song by Led Zeppelin"
X Link 2021-11-21T01:47Z 17.3K followers, [----] engagements

"@flea333 And there's millions of people To offer advice and say how I should be But they're twisted and they will never be Any influence on me Real lyrics. The Emperor's New Clothes"
X Link 2023-07-27T01:32Z 17.3K followers, 174.5K engagements

"30 years ago"
X Link 2025-10-23T01:36Z 17.3K followers, 16.9K engagements

"Released [--] years ago"
X Link 2025-11-07T01:49Z 17.3K followers, 17.7K engagements

"30 years ago today Douglas J. 'Needles' played by @flea333 punks Marty McFly in Back To The Future II"
X Link 2019-11-22T17:17Z 17.3K followers, [----] engagements

"Who is the best guitarist you've ever seen live"
X Link 2020-12-23T00:18Z 17.3K followers, 18K engagements

"Foo Fighters ❤"
X Link 2022-04-15T02:05Z 17.3K followers, [----] engagements

"Red Hot Chili Peppers kick off their Blood Sugar Sex Magik tour on this day in [----]. Their opening acts are Smashing Pumpkins and a new band called Pearl Jam"
X Link 2022-10-16T01:21Z 17.3K followers, [----] engagements

"Rope is one of the tightest songs by Foo Fighters"
X Link 2022-12-27T02:01Z 17.3K followers, 73.6K engagements

"Who's seen Tom Petty live"
X Link 2023-03-17T02:24Z 17.3K followers, 50.4K engagements

"Beastie Boys '92 rip MCA"
X Link 2023-05-04T01:39Z 17.3K followers, 75.7K engagements

"Alive by Pearl Jam was released on this day '91"
X Link 2023-07-07T12:55Z 17.3K followers, 75.7K engagements

"Sinead O'Connor live debut on Letterman '88"
X Link 2023-07-27T01:56Z 17.3K followers, 80.3K engagements

"Unplugged by Alice In Chains was released on this day '96"
X Link 2023-07-30T02:22Z 17.3K followers, 138.2K engagements

"Pearl Jam released Ten on this day '91. Favorite song"
X Link 2023-08-27T03:09Z 17.3K followers, 115.9K engagements

"Best debut album by a band"
X Link 2023-11-12T03:55Z 17.3K followers, 53.8K engagements

"Dave Grohl first time playing Everlong live on acoustic '98"
X Link 2024-01-07T04:10Z 17.3K followers, 91.8K engagements

"Best album '89"
X Link 2024-03-29T02:32Z 17.3K followers, 264.9K engagements

"When Pearl Jam did SNL in April of '94 we had just lost Kurt Cobain. Eddie wrote KURDT on his guitar headstock. Shortly after Mike McCready took a break and formed Mad Season"
X Link 2024-04-12T01:49Z 17.3K followers, 332.6K engagements

"It's been eight years today. Prince 💜"
X Link 2024-04-21T02:34Z 17.3K followers, 39.8K engagements

"INXS should be in the Rock Hall Yes or No"
X Link 2024-04-28T02:20Z 17.3K followers, 97.4K engagements

"This song didn't make it on In Utero as Kurt said there's already too many noise songs. Most know where it ended up under a different working title. Producer Steve Albini"
X Link 2024-05-09T01:41Z 17.3K followers, 544.4K engagements

"Pearl Jam Whip It"
X Link 2024-05-11T01:22Z 17.3K followers, 162.8K engagements

"These albums will turn [--] this year. Pick one"
X Link 2024-05-19T02:24Z 17.3K followers, 170.8K engagements

"Albums turning [--] next year Pick one from '95"
X Link 2024-05-26T02:33Z 17.3K followers, 281.8K engagements

"Five bands that should be in the Rock Hall. Soundgarden Pixies Alice In Chains Smashing Pumpkins Jane's Addiction"
X Link 2024-07-20T02:36Z 17.3K followers, 107.3K engagements

"Favorite blue album"
X Link 2024-08-27T01:53Z 17.3K followers, 178.5K engagements

"Favorite red album"
X Link 2024-08-28T01:36Z 17.3K followers, 378.1K engagements

"Favorite black and white albums"
X Link 2024-08-30T01:57Z 17.3K followers, 222.7K engagements

"On this day '91"
X Link 2024-11-01T02:04Z 17.3K followers, 31.2K engagements

"The last tv appearance by Nirvana '94"
X Link 2025-01-18T03:50Z 17.3K followers, 42.5K engagements

"Dave Grohl with Nirvana for the first time live '90"
X Link 2025-01-27T02:37Z 17.3K followers, 32.2K engagements

"Garbage on Late Show with Letterman '96"
X Link 2025-02-06T01:52Z 17.3K followers, 140.6K engagements

"Eddie Vedder '92"
X Link 2025-02-15T02:08Z 17.3K followers, 36.3K engagements

"Pearl Jam SNL '94"
X Link 2025-02-17T03:46Z 17.3K followers, 75K engagements

"Nirvana '92 SNL"
X Link 2025-02-18T03:58Z 17.3K followers, 438.1K engagements

"The Toadies on MTV [---] Minutes '95"
X Link 2025-02-21T02:53Z 17.3K followers, 52.7K engagements

"Should Alice in Chains be in the Rock Hall"
X Link 2025-02-22T02:33Z 17.3K followers, 67.8K engagements

"Living Colour SNL on this day '89"
X Link 2025-04-01T01:30Z 17.3K followers, 33.4K engagements

"Turning [--] this year. Pick one"
X Link 2025-04-05T02:31Z 17.3K followers, 87.9K engagements

"Pearl Jam on this day (SNL '92)"
X Link 2025-04-11T01:08Z 17.3K followers, 169.8K engagements

"Rage Against the Machine on this day (SNL '96)"
X Link 2025-04-12T15:27Z 17.3K followers, 159.5K engagements

"Do you like this band"
X Link 2025-04-13T00:43Z 17.3K followers, 139.8K engagements

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