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@emzanotti
"This is a joke humorless scolds"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-30T14:40Z 110.9K followers, 29K engagements
"@SJCarey @guypbenson The cost of tariffs is on you"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T19:38Z 110.9K followers, 1855 engagements
"@KellieCeline @grizzlymamabear What is wrong with you guys Its literally the Ball canning tongs and theyre upside down. The green part is contoured for the jars"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-05T01:21Z 110.9K followers, 11.1K engagements
"I am outdoorsy yes in the sense that I enjoy drinking wine on patios"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-23T13:21Z 110.9K followers, 8790 engagements
"This means theyre sending the robots right Like those Boston Dynamics dogs"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-23T17:11Z 110.9K followers, 5586 engagements
"A few people have asked for a full shot of my kitchen so here it is weirdos"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-03T16:28Z 110.9K followers, 24K engagements
"My husband sweetly offered to come with me to Brentwood to pick up a uniform order. But then I found out what he really wanted. Cherry bomb"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-04T17:28Z 110.9K followers, 3533 engagements
"This is hardly the first time this Fr. Casey guy has publicly embarassed himself even if he fails to completely realize what hes doing. Someone needs to stage an intervention"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-06T14:13Z 110.9K followers, 25.7K engagements
"No one has barfed in almost XX hours now which is a relief and a credit to these activated charcoal pills that @bethanyshondark recommended which allowed me to hose down the boys room without any sympathy puking"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-06T14:17Z 110.9K followers, 6694 engagements
"Does Temu Sammy Hagar here actually sell books How desperate do those guys have to be lol"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-06T18:03Z 110.9K followers, 4436 engagements
"Okay Twitter if I have an event that is semi-formal do I go left or right"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-07T02:21Z 110.9K followers, 50.8K engagements
"@brandnewfaghag Yes well take that up with Jason Wu. This is what were working with"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-07T13:10Z 110.9K followers, 2643 engagements
"What @benshapiro did wasn't "destroying" anyone which is the genius of it. He just brought the issue into the light. He put it on a public table. And the tide will turn because these are uncomfortable questions that people will now feel safe asking because he asked them first"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-07T17:29Z 110.9K followers, 97.5K engagements
"Someone should tell them to smile more"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-08T15:39Z 110.9K followers, 25.3K engagements
"@DKnierim63392 @RationalMale Somehow I doubt someone who doesnt grasp the use of capitalization to designate proper nouns has even the slightest understanding of any of the named subjects"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-08T19:20Z 110.9K followers, XXX engagements
"I see Temu Sammy Hagar is back with Deep Thoughts and Randomly Capitalized Words a pep talk for the divorced dad set"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-08T19:31Z 110.9K followers, 6751 engagements
"the internet is freaking out over women voting but the White House got the actual Mamdani message: the cost of living has become a primary concern among voters across the board"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T15:28Z 110.9K followers, 6560 engagements
"I NEED THIS"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T15:35Z 110.9K followers, 5452 engagements
"Good morning everyone this is my least favorite week of the year when I have to switch out all the clothes from summer to winter which just means buying all new clothes for a bunch of children"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T15:36Z 110.9K followers, 4151 engagements
"@Tracelator I mostly just shop in person thrift but ThredUp is a godsend for my daughter"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T16:23Z 110.9K followers, XXX engagements
"Is there a good Edmund Fitzgerald documentary somewhere to stream The new one isfine But its mostly diving the wreck and Im looking for cheese"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T18:32Z 110.9K followers, 4531 engagements
"Look I love Stevie Nicks and theres a lot to say about this interview especially given that Fleetwood Mac was already very successful by the time she was banging Don Henley but no one is looking at her and going you know she made a lot of good choices. The only thing a baby would have kept Stevie Nicks from doing is a mountain of cocaine"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T16:10Z 110.9K followers, 5355 engagements
"@getty_a96716 I like his little basket. I get it. Put the cheese and the wine in the basket see you when the snow falls"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T04:01Z 110.9K followers, XX engagements
"@allie__voss I firmly believe that the suburbs are the worst of all possible options for people who want community. Its a soul-crushing nightmare. But also thats just me. 😂"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T14:25Z 110.9K followers, XXX engagements
"Im taking a page out of my kids book and circling what I want for Christmas in the snail mail catalogs. But its like Costco and King Arthur Flour. But I want that little Bissell steam cleaner and a new brle torch"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T04:12Z 110.9K followers, 4395 engagements
"The videos arestrange. Shes asking whoever picks up the phone for cash and if they refer her to another office or like a food pantry she claims they arent helping. Most places have the formula and will give it to you or they can find it for you; they dont give cash"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T03:45Z 111K followers, 137.3K engagements
"Guys I cannot stress this enough. Do not take life advice from anyone in Fleetwood Mac"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T03:24Z 110.9K followers, 271.5K engagements
"Italian pasta (and some American pasta) is mostly made with durum wheat grown in the northwest (MT ND etc.) and we export it in return for pasta. Without warning farmers be stuck with wheat which means inevitable new farm bailout. 😡 So dumb"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T18:12Z 111K followers, 9965 engagements
"Look we all need a little good news"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T17:42Z 110.9K followers, 7658 engagements
"If you cant stand up for whats right how can you expect to stand up at the gates of heaven You dont get along with a cancer as it metastasizes in your body hoping to one day bring it into your system you do what it takes to survive"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T20:38Z 110.9K followers, 4310 engagements
"@maryfiorito To be fair the person who installed it learned plumbing from YouTube so youre probably fine"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T20:32Z 111K followers, XXX engagements
"Stop letting hysterical Christian Nationalist pastors lead the partys approach to women. Stop telling women theyre worthless and stupid and should get married at XX and start popping out kids. It wouldnt solve your problem immediately but it would stem the bleeding somewhat"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-06T14:59Z 110.9K followers, 80.9K engagements
"I have a good friend who retired from the theater got married to his husband and now does drag as Carol Channing and hes still not nearly as gay as these two"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T18:53Z 111K followers, 239.1K engagements
"post you and your celebrity lookalike :)"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T04:00Z 110.9K followers, 11.9K engagements
"Well one twin had won the toilet wars. RIP primary bathroom toilet"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T23:44Z 110.9K followers, 4031 engagements
"I thought I lived near the Nashville murder Kroger but apparently I live near the kidnapping Kroger which not to be confused with the assault Kroger or the stabbing Kroger in case you were wondering how we identify our grocery stores"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-13T02:02Z 111K followers, 6066 engagements
"@LeahLibresco The Kidnapping Kroger is quite nice to be honest. And murder Kroger has a Starbucks"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-13T02:04Z 111K followers, XXX engagements
"Every Tucker Carlson promo photo looks like hes a toddler who is trying to poop"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-13T03:30Z 111K followers, 4717 engagements
"Guys shes using the canning tongs upside down. The rubber part goes around the jars so they dont slip"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-04T21:19Z 110.9K followers, 1.1M engagements
"Okay now that I have yalls attention if you were to hypothetically rent an RV and take a three()-week road trip around the west with X kids (7 X 5) over the summer where would you go National Parks roadside attractions awesome side quests all possible"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-10-25T14:22Z 110.9K followers, 32K engagements
"As someone who has happily been in these losers crosshairs for a while let me suggest that explanation and reason are pointless because they justhate women. You cant ingratiate yourself to them in hopes of being targeted last because it isnt driven by logic"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-08T14:49Z 110.9K followers, 27.9K engagements
"Galette time"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T22:55Z 110.9K followers, 4202 engagements
"Oh Julia Child"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-09T23:03Z 110.9K followers, 8842 engagements
"The calculus was that SNAP would break people and that Dem target demographics would respond with a wave of anger at the White House. But what broke people were the airline delays and passengers arent a voting bloc"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T03:29Z 110.9K followers, 49.4K engagements
"Lets switch gears. Im in charge of catering/spoiling our schools teachers and staff with a coffee bar in December. What should I make Obvs flavored K-cups syrups cream and sugars but mini breakfast ideas"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T22:58Z 110.9K followers, 8313 engagements
"@SouthernKeeks Its not us eating each other. Its a body purging itself of a cancer. You dont respect the cancers right to be there you just do what you need to survive and heal"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T23:29Z 110.9K followers, 2100 engagements
"Look Im not saying Mothman is real but I am asking the questions no one else will"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T14:26Z 110.9K followers, 5650 engagements
"Im glad to see the tide turn with some of the more postliberal among us but theres a bit of I-told-you-so here. Now that institutions feel threatened its suddenly okay to admit whats been happening all along"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T14:41Z 110.9K followers, 13.4K engagements
"Getting a degree and learning how to keep a home arent mutually exclusive. Dale wouldnt know because Dale has no formal collegiate education"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T19:38Z 111K followers, 20.1K engagements
"@sourpatchlyds My neighbor posted a photo but all I got was pink tinge"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T04:37Z 110.9K followers, XXX engagements
"Look Ive been thinking about this since all of a sudden Poso and others are on it and Im starting to think this has nothing to do with groypers. No one at any national party level is ever going to welcome groypers even if they do get a foothold at some think tanks where the young interns and whatever are always deeply radicalized and have been since I was one. Charlie presided over for lack of a better word a sort-of cult. It stayed in lock step so long as there was leadership and camaraderie and that meant money and power for a lot of people. Now that cult is fracturing. In some ways its"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T15:44Z 111K followers, 12.8K engagements
"@OyVeyIzhMir I also think this comes from an assumption on his part that he will justtake over MAGA. I think hes counting on a cult of his own to inherit. I think thats a bad calculus but it explains why he just cant say this is bad to anyone"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T15:53Z 111K followers, XXX engagements
"THATS THE SAME FRIDGE THAT DESTROYED MY KITCHEN"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T19:57Z 110.9K followers, 59.7K engagements
"What tweeting fruit names at them and threatening to take their vote away isnt working"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-07T14:35Z 110.9K followers, 54.7K engagements
"I think were done here"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-07T23:48Z 110.9K followers, 41.8K engagements
"She said no over the fact that he bought the first ring he could find despite knowing what she wanted and didnt even bother to take the price tags off. She never mentions the cost just the lack of care"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-10T23:23Z 110.9K followers, 45K engagements
"I recently discovered that I was on a list called fat dumb broads and like if youre going to take the time to curate that youre definitely a fan"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-11T01:10Z 110.9K followers, 7301 engagements
"So if I make more than $100K I pay extra for everything because of tariffs and then my money that Ive paid is given to someone who is not me Isnt that wealth redistribution Like theres an extra step but WTF"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T18:05Z 110.9K followers, 186.3K engagements
"Like if youre going to ease the burden on consumers because they got caught in the middle of your trade war just give me back my money dont give it to someone else. Also stimulus checks are stupid and economically disruptive"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T18:20Z 110.9K followers, 4876 engagements
"@AZRetirees @guypbenson They were absolutely passed on. This is your money thats being called revenue"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T19:38Z 110.9K followers, 1614 engagements
"uhhhh were cooked right"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-12T19:48Z 111K followers, 19.3K engagements
"@JTownGip None of them are anything like they were when they earned their nicknames The names were set in the 90s when things weredifferent"
X Link @emzanotti 2025-11-13T03:32Z 111K followers, XX engagements