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@tomandmartys "If you are over the age of XX and you find yourself standing in between holes reaching out desperately hoping for a pro to slap your hand as they walk by youve failed at life"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 13:08:34 UTC 11.1K followers, 2249 engagements

"Kevin Kisner nods vigorously in agreement while watching Scooby Doo when the villain at the end says I wouldve gotten away with it if it werent for you meddling kids"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 17:17:03 UTC 11.1K followers, 1202 engagements

"Pro Golfers Most Likely To Get In A Bar Fight: A Definitive Ranking: X. Alejandro Tosti. My eyes would never leave him from the moment he arrived. Terrifies me you dont fuck with crazy. X. Justin Thomas. Classic I wasnt doing anything and the guy just started swinging at me guy. Then I check the video and see he threw a suckerpunch to start it. X. Daniel Berger. Hyper-competitive would get in a fist fight with his friend playing bar trivia. X. Shane Lowry. Classic happiest guy in the bar through XX beers. After beer XX though the shit gets dark. X. Tom Kim. Legitimately not his fault he just"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-13 14:52:39 UTC 11.1K followers, 49.2K engagements

"Westwood in the lead Me and @CPowers14 this Monday on my new yacht the USS Westy"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 08:48:15 UTC 11.1K followers, 1626 engagements

"Ryan Fox is still 75-1 for the Open on DK. If Im gonna be forced to hear them mention his rugby playing Dad XXX times next week may as well make a profit from my suffering"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-10 16:19:23 UTC 11.1K followers, 8392 engagements

"Stupid Parlay Time 3M Open Edition. X. Im certain of X things in life. That Jake Knapp will be a top XX player on tour next season. And that Michael Penix will be a top XX QB in the NFL next season as well. X. I think about Cam Youngs 200-1 Masters odds at least X times a day"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 19:27:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 9857 engagements

"I would like to announce that Jake Knapp will be the winner of this weeks 3M Open. I say this with more confidence than usual too. Playing quite well ready to make the leap perfect course to do it. Other smart people will agree I suspect so grab a 40-1 while you still can"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 14:54:53 UTC 11.1K followers, 23.3K engagements

"If Norman Xiong at 250-1 odds can somehow provide me with at long last a win in 2025 I will make this solemn vow: Within a week I will search for and find a woman to impregnate and be it a son or daughter doesnt matter we will name that child Norman"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-10 16:19:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 11K engagements

"We need to have a national discussion on whether Ludvig Aberg is a serious golfer. Nobody gives back strokes after birdies like he does"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-13 13:52:02 UTC 11.1K followers, 37.6K engagements

"Now my friends are asking Why are they showing Lee Hodges on tv Ive officially made golf fans out of them"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-26 13:17:31 UTC 11.1K followers, 1964 engagements

"Im gonna win so much money when Jacob Bridgeman wins the Rocket Mortgage Classic"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-11 20:34:02 UTC 11.1K followers, 2516 engagements

"I cannot WAIT to serve a plate of shit to all my HATERZ who mocked my Davis Riley for Bethpage stance. The dream is back ON"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-14 15:43:45 UTC 11.1K followers, 6163 engagements

"Not that I was going to bet $XXX but I find it hilarious that @FDSportsbook now limits me on Carl Yuan bets. FD teller: Its that fucking moron who dropped $6500 on him last year. Should we let him bet $XXX on him now FD manager: NOOOOO He might be on to something"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-04-15 01:01:03 UTC 11.1K followers, 25.3K engagements

"What stands out to me is that the US hasnt produced a truly high end young player since Morikawa. Hes now XX years old. Meanwhile Europe has produced several"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-04-22 02:25:55 UTC 11.1K followers, 318.8K engagements

"Kris Ventura took the lead on the front X at the ISCO. How the back X went:"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-13 22:04:39 UTC 11.1K followers, 5490 engagements

"The Open is great and all but I cant help but think how much better itd be if they allowed Grant Horvat to play and film it"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 09:10:11 UTC 11.1K followers, 335.8K engagements

"I like using the XX% Fan Duel boosts for majors futures. Odds usually suck but I usually can find a few gems. Not now. Their odds are simply obscenely bad across the board. Even boosted theres no one I would even consider"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 13:59:31 UTC 11.1K followers, 3062 engagements

"Already told @BrianKirschner_ that since I totally tailed him on Fox he gets a new set of Pings too when it hits"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-13 18:18:16 UTC 11.1K followers, 35.2K engagements

"This Thanksgiving weekend Im gonna be hitting google refresh every two minutes waiting for the story of Meredith attacking Scotties car with a X iron. Its our only hope"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 17:32:40 UTC 11.1K followers, 2898 engagements

"Cant wait to tell my grandkids about the year Harris English juuuuust missed out winning a major in not one but two 2nd place majors finishes. So close"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 17:23:08 UTC 11.1K followers, 1250 engagements

"Gotterup has a legit case for a Ryder Cup spot with a strong finish today. No his overall resume doesnt stack up. But his game fits Bethpage & theres something to be said about taking the hot hand on an otherwise uninspiring team. Still needs a good Fed Ex playoffs"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 13:39:03 UTC 11.1K followers, 35.3K engagements

"@doc_beez @killlak11 Not sure what it means but sounds delicious"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 22:34:12 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"No idea what the big deal is. This is exactly how Id react if I were caught on camera attending a fucking Coldplay concert"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 17:31:39 UTC 11.1K followers, 4804 engagements

"@adplacksports @BrianKirschner_ And by winner you mean Harris English"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 03:11:32 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"If they played this tournament over XXX holes Harris English wins by XX strokes"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-22 20:57:37 UTC 11.1K followers, 77K engagements

"Nick Taylor missing the cut by X strokes this week is the exact type of form you want to absolutely nuke him at the 3M Open"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 20:17:44 UTC 11.1K followers, 2785 engagements

"Notable guys missing cut: Niemann. Will keep LIV/Pga fans debating until April on how good he actually is Tom Kim. Had some steam this week. We can now all agree again that he sucks Ben Griffin. Losing steam as season winds down. Is Ryder Cup spot gone Cam Young. Only helps his Masters odds a win really Patrick Reed. Ends Ryder Cup hopes Theegala. Officially a lost season Morikawa. Will hIs PR person survive the fallout Min Woo Lee. Might be last major for a while after he joins LIV. Koepka. Entering DJ territory Cam Smith. There to greet Koepka on DJs yacht JT Poston. Just shut the fuck up"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 20:39:00 UTC 11.1K followers, 553.5K engagements

"@game_save234 @Skulledwedge I dont think Tom Kim would have a ted that way had he known he was minutes from a violent death"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 17:32:46 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Stupid parlays for Open X. Buying a game worn Andre Rison jersey on Monday when this hits. X. Sitting on a $365k Scam Young Masters ticket will heat my house this winter. X. Were in for a Cam Newton XXX this year. Lanorris Sellers is that good"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-14 18:19:30 UTC 11.1K followers, 5354 engagements

"So I was at Starbucks getting a caramel macchiato with oat milk because thats how I roll. Was $XXXX. Suddenly I asked myself what do I want more my bougie coffee drink or a $417k Cam Young ticket The answer is obvious. I mean still got my drink but you get my point"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 03:06:58 UTC 11.1K followers, 29.1K engagements

"Thanks for playing Ben Griffin. Theres a redeye from Dublin to JFK tomorrow at 11pm"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 08:39:51 UTC 11.1K followers, 7254 engagements

"Harmon and Hatton at XXX would be the shortest combined height in an Open Championship final group since twelve year old Young Tom Morris was paired with Squeaky The Imp Callahan in the 1873 edition"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 11:52:54 UTC 11.1K followers, 219.9K engagements

"Nice to see Rory draw a big crowd for a few holes before presumably most of the patrons are gonna congregate around Harris English teeing off soon. Gonna be bedlam"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 09:23:50 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Stupid Parlays Time Riding high after an almost sweat with Cam for $184k. Time to get one for Postyrush I mean Portrush X. This may be the most sensible bet ever made. X. Harris English is a poor mans Posty. Likely finishes 2nd to him. X. Only thing stopping this is Foxwoods"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-16 20:44:24 UTC 11.1K followers, 4025 engagements

"Since Scott cant win one this is my list of guys most deserving of a second major still can but are running out of time: X. Justin Rose X. Jason Day X. Keegan Louis O and Sergio deserve another but like Scott wont Glover and Reed are X major guys who do not deserve a 2nd"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 07:42:37 UTC 11.1K followers, 1110 engagements

"At this point Im of the belief that Ryan Foxs Dad was a fucking accountant"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 12:17:45 UTC 11.1K followers, 1900 engagements

"Come on only a few more bad bounces and we might get pouty Scottie today. Please make it happen"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 15:09:21 UTC 11.1K followers, 2102 engagements

"The future is bright for Michael Thorbjornsen and I wish him well. But as for the present he can kindly fuck off"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-29 19:05:19 UTC 11.1K followers, 2628 engagements

"The mistake I made with betting Nick Taylor was that a lot of people were on Nick Taylor this week. You never ever bet Nick Taylor unless its universally agreed that he has no chance that week"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 18:02:34 UTC 11.1K followers, 2671 engagements

"@CPowers14 Tom & Martys is a go to source for hard hitting analysis"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 21:59:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 17.9K engagements

"Ive decided to help grow the game by being the 1st person ever to do FRL & Heisman Trophy parlays. X. LaNorris Sellers ceiling is 2010 Cam Newton X. If he stays healthy Haynes King will be a top XX NFL Draft pick X. Horvath is one of top XX most likely guys to win the Heisman"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-16 18:34:27 UTC 11.1K followers, 8233 engagements

"@ChrisEbomb In part because it only comes around every few years has a huge cult following. They sold out this Mays batch in literally a few days"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 21:01:32 UTC 11.1K followers, 1598 engagements

"3M Open field dropped Lots of solid names likely chasing Fed Ex points. Means you might find some actual nice numbers on guys down the board. (Hi Cam Champ) Keep an eye on WDs if they play well at Open. Means you might want to get a few bets in quickly before the WDs start"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 21:21:08 UTC 11.1K followers, 3108 engagements

"After a tense back and forth all day Hayden Buckley came oh so close a mere XX strokes off the lead. DK dodged a bullet and keeps my $5"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-12 00:02:15 UTC 11.1K followers, 7402 engagements

"3M Open odds. About what I expected. Gotty bump is big bigger than I thought. Mav def lower too. Whos your early lean"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 19:35:30 UTC 11.1K followers, 14.4K engagements

"Had to bet Matt McCarty at 80-1. Too good to pass up"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-30 13:37:58 UTC 11.1K followers, 3036 engagements

"JDC FRLs: To win 1kish: Ramey 110-1 Muow 110-1 Ben James 120-1 Hayden Buck 150-1 Del Solar 250-1 to win 2.5k And the @RossJon22 special to win $3k: Zach Johnson 150-1"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-02 21:35:15 UTC 11.1K followers, 4518 engagements

"I have been low key on the David Puig bandwagon. No more dudes a jabroni. Only thing hes missing from not being on the PGA Tour is a yearly back door top XX finish at Punta Cana"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-13 01:49:09 UTC 11.1K followers, 3601 engagements

"Like Homa is playing better happy for him. But my god youd think he beat cancer a car accident and lupus if you listen to the CBS crew today. Tone it down a bit"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-06 20:01:38 UTC 11.1K followers, 179.4K engagements

"@theblowpig Agree on all counts but nobody has stepped up. Veterans Spieth and Cantlay been worse. Nor have guys like Young Mav Burns or Berger"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 19:38:04 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Brian Harman hitting it out of the rough on 3:"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-12 13:10:30 UTC 11.1K followers, 390.3K engagements

"I Eckroat bogeys XX Im throwing this cat out the window. Just kidding cant lift the fat bastard"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-03 17:24:45 UTC 11.1K followers, 2828 engagements

"Golf expenses May 19-June XX (22 rounds): Greens fees $XXX Golf balls $XX Cart fees $XX New Hybrid $XXX Golf gloves $3150 Tees $XX I find it OBSCENE that a month of golf costs over $4000 to play. The golf industry ought to be ashamed"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-18 17:42:55 UTC 11.1K followers, 870.3K engagements

"If I win a bet today I am prepared to offer Max Greyserman $XXX if he doesnt wear his stupid ass long sleeves for the 3M Open"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-29 18:50:26 UTC 11.1K followers, 3182 engagements

"BIG mistake wearing my Adidas golf polo out to the bar tonight. Been only XX minutes and X girls have already mistaken me for Ludvig Aberg"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 00:27:59 UTC 11.1K followers, 72.4K engagements

"Got a good round from English today. Frustrating in that it doesnt matter as Scheffler is the most daunting man in all of golf. Now its Barracuda time got a Buckley ticket. Frustrated again as hes chasing the 2nd most daunting man in all of golf Rico Hoey"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 18:50:19 UTC 11.1K followers, 3361 engagements

"@ANGC_burner Dude this is the most get off my lawn take ever. I fully agree"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-23 02:11:31 UTC 11.1K followers, 1041 engagements

"At 40-1 I cannot condone betting Wyndham Clark thereby endorsing his reprehensible actions. Were it 50-1 though Id be a big believer in second chances"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-24 18:50:03 UTC 11.1K followers, 3987 engagements

"@Dougarmst14 BIG fan Dont trust his wild driver here though. But I will plant a flag with you now he WILL win a fall event this year"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 21:28:36 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Come next April having Cam Young at 200-1 for Masters is gonna be the Rosetta Stone of who knows ball on golf twitter"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 22:29:39 UTC 11.1K followers, 4143 engagements

"While you guys all enjoy your stupid Open Championship bullshit I for one am going to spend the next XX hours or so in high anxiety waiting to see if Max Greyserman enters next weeks 3M Open"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-16 12:39:26 UTC 11.1K followers, 3025 engagements

"In baseball they call them AAAA players. They dominate in the minors but theres some flaw that prevents them from excelling in the big leagues. In golf that fits Stephan Jaeger to a tee. In Siggys & majors hes simply not good enough. In a field like this 75-1 is great value"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-23 19:20:33 UTC 11.1K followers, 2508 engagements

"@GeorgeVanRijk Gotty actually won the Scottish and to then follow it up with this and considering the timing has a stronger case than Novak. Novak in fact can still get on team with a win. Gotty on other hand just needs a few good finishes"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 03:49:49 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Hattons driver is gonna becruled non-conforming for containing trace amounts of mithril"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 12:15:25 UTC 11.1K followers, 1256 engagements

"Scottie uttering some banal college freshman-level existentialist bullshit & now boat racing the field means we now get to hear jabronis telling us how interesting and thoughtful he is for the next six months. I can read the side of my box of Cheerios and its more interesting"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 17:55:17 UTC 11.1K followers, 3221 engagements

"The Scottie Scheffler had to overcome adversity Rolex commercial makes me giggle every time. Such a rags to riches story"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 18:47:03 UTC 11.1K followers, 2977 engagements

"Nick Taylor is one of the last to tee off tomorrow could miss windiest part of day. Be a fun late day FRL at 90-1. In for .5u"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 01:57:13 UTC 11.1K followers, 6691 engagements

"Three guys in the thick of it for being a Captains pick for the US Ryder Cup are poised to really stamp their case this weekend. Harman t3 English t5 and Burns t12. A top X finish wont lock them in but def make it close. Two fringe guys Finau t10 and Gotterup t5 would need a win here to get locked in but even a top X finish sets them up to make a run at a spot in Fed Ex Playoffs"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 19:55:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 1955 engagements

"@JackBushman2 Was really hoping there would be a discount after past two weeks. Nope. May have to do a stupid parlay with him to relieve my FOMO"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 19:00:38 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Career PGA Tour victories: Brian Campbell: X Garrick Higgo: X Tommy Fleetwood: X Cam Young: X Denny McCarthy: 0"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-06 22:24:28 UTC 11.1K followers, 104.4K engagements

"Scottie has broken the cardinal rule of PGA Tour golf. You never ever leave the door open for Austin Eckroat"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-20 16:23:46 UTC 11.1K followers, 1946 engagements

"Ive had a LOT of people reach out asking to buy a case off of me in the past XX hours. While Im not opposed to helping a brother out selling alcohol by mail even if Im not doing it for a penny of profit can get me a liquor licensee in a LOT of trouble. So I must decline"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-23 13:40:39 UTC 11.1K followers, 13.7K engagements

"My joy at seeing Davis Riley earn his Ryder Cup spot this week if offset by the fact that I dont have any money on him. Fan Duel should look at my betting history and give me a free bet on him at 150-1"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-19 14:31:34 UTC 11.1K followers, 3762 engagements

"Garrick Higgo looks like Neil Shipleys Mini-Me"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 23:08:47 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"With his birdie on X to take the solo lead Harris English has achieved lock status for Bethpage. If you disagree leave your address in your comment so I can drive to your house to punch you in the dick"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 10:05:26 UTC 11.1K followers, 1349 engagements

"Fired up the leaderboard on the lap top was greeted with this. Its a sign. Harris English is gonna have a day"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 07:13:09 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Ryan Fox opened with a win probability of 1.3%. Every time they mention his rugby playing father it goes up by another 1.3%. Right off the bat on the 1st tee hes at 2.6%"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 08:29:24 UTC 11.1K followers, 1495 engagements

"Okay USA Network taking a brief look at Rory warming up is fine. But you dont need to keep going back to him over and over. Guys are actually playing. Now theyre spending two full minutes showing entire leaderboard. Weve got the internet for that. Please show actual shots"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 08:27:04 UTC 11.1K followers, 1945 engagements

"Theyre gonna be talking for years about Tommy Fleetwoods second round XX that left him within X strokes of Harris English"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 09:49:11 UTC 11.1K followers, 1049 engagements

"@PGALouis @dan_jurek There is some smoke there but who knows with these things"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 21:57:34 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"A win by Morikawa or Griffin knocks JT out of qualifying for the Ryder Cup on points could even put him 8th. With Keegs a lock & English having a stronger case & guys like Cantlay Sam Burns Mav Harman even Cam Young lurking its safe to say JT is no longer a lock"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-23 21:56:13 UTC 11.1K followers, 9017 engagements

"@GothGolfGirl To their credit you can tell neither has ever cheated before. Experienced cheaters would be way better at acting like there was nothing to see"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 18:04:17 UTC 11.1K followers, XX engagements

"@CPowers14 Such a bullshit double standard. He does that for missing a putt hes a gritty competitor I do that to my cat when Harris English misses a putt Im an asshole"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 22:12:23 UTC 11.1K followers, 2477 engagements

"@TheStroker83 @Brian_Schipf Amen Dr. Bob. Its happening"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 04:05:10 UTC 11.1K followers, XX engagements

"My Do Not Bet list: Through 2025 Collin Morikawa Sungjae Im Hoge Tony Finau Denny Through 2026 Lowry Fleetwood Sam Burns Until I die Cam Young Brian Campbell"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-11 22:05:20 UTC 11.1K followers, 80.4K engagements

"Need a nap. Gonna wake up see the rain stopped just in time for Harris English to shoot a XX. Gonna hit like crack"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 12:46:24 UTC 11.1K followers, 3124 engagements

"@brammercat I need to hit outrights just to finance my idiotic parlays"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-17 03:28:30 UTC 11.1K followers, XX engagements

"Riki Kawamoto makes a nifty X foot par putt from just off the back of the green on XX. Barring a disasterous XX means -X cut is on the number exactly at XX players. Pissing DFS players off everywhere but likely making @gfienberg17 quite happy"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 20:17:04 UTC 11.1K followers, 8703 engagements

"@Skulledwedge Hot take: Collin currently would be at X majors with Ted Scott on his bag"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 16:38:25 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Getting a lot of rain today so lets add Isaiah Salinda 120-1 FRL"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-23 16:46:12 UTC 11.1K followers, 1261 engagements

"Wyndham Clark should be in JAIL not out here trying to take Eckroats FRL from me"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-19 16:19:14 UTC 11.1K followers, 17.7K engagements

"@GolfDigest That Webb Simpson was like a rare yet beautiful comet that fluttered across the sky ever so briefly only to disappear forever. We didnt appreciate the Webb Simpson Era enough"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-30 19:28:28 UTC 11.1K followers, 12.4K engagements

"Is the producer of the TV coverage a cousin of C Bez Its weird been all Rory JT Fleetwood and for some reason every C Bez shot"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 10:25:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 1644 engagements

"Harris making the birdie putt on X he couldnt make on yesterdays back X. Only need about X more today"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 14:22:56 UTC 11.1K followers, 1214 engagements

"Due to the Jacuzzi Room Suite at the Super X just off of Route XX being fully booked this weekend we are holding the Hayden Buck Suck & Fuck THURSDAY night FRL Hayden Buckley 200-1 to win 2K Other frls at $XX a pop Vic Perez 90-1 Like List 120-1 Del Solar 270-1"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-23 02:39:31 UTC 11.1K followers, 3242 engagements

"Why is Tony Finau in the Fed Ex Cup Playoffs commercial May not even make them"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-29 19:50:02 UTC 11.1K followers, 2655 engagements

"How about that Rico Hoey Does a win here seal his spot of the 2026 Presidents Cup team"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 16:16:10 UTC 11.1K followers, 3411 engagements

"Tomorrows US Open schedule: 7am Go to coffee shop for tall black coffee 7:28 Anxiety attack for not betting English after he birdies X 7:45 Only person ever to say Fuck Gary Woodland after he bogies X 7:55 First of a dozen cheap shots Ill tweet about Rory today 9am Red Bull number X 9:23Block everyone who tweets Its Brian Campbells week after he gets to -X 10:14 Tweet a mean thing about Gotterup after he bogies 10:15 A Gotterup fan replies threatening to kick my ass 11am: Coffee Number X 11:30 Tweet Eric Cole Ryder Cup lock Get a dozen serious replies saying yes. 12pm Finally eat. Only"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-12 04:01:30 UTC 11.1K followers, 100K engagements

"@jimjonesjohn Got a taste at 100-1. Form is finally coming around"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-21 17:23:41 UTC 11.1K followers, XX engagements

"PGA Tour Wins: Garrick Higgo X Ludvig Aberg X Mav McNealy X Tyrell Hatton X Theegala X Fleetwood X Cam Young X Denny McCarthy 0"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-04-20 21:57:46 UTC 11.1K followers, 231.5K engagements

"My 3M Open Card: Knapp 40-1 2.5u Grillo 40-1 1u Eckroat 100-1 1u Luke List 250-1 taste Many smart people proportion their bets so that each one pays about the same. I care not for such cowardice"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 18:55:10 UTC 11.1K followers, 19.2K engagements

"The fact that Morikawa is still almost certainly going to Bethpage this year speaks more as to how shitty American golf has been this year than anything hes accomplished"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 19:30:14 UTC 11.1K followers, 17.6K engagements

"Is Max Homa playing better Sure. Is Colt Knost praising him for making X of the last X cuts when X were limited field Siggys an example of the shameless slurping that is Knosts brand Yup"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-04 23:07:14 UTC 11.1K followers, 57.7K engagements

"Just got a text from a buddy who is tailing my Ewen Ferguson FRL. He asked me how I landed on him. I told him some stuff about his game recent form etc. I made it all up. I bet him because his name is frickin Ewen Ferguson and this is the Scottish Open"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-10 13:59:09 UTC 11.1K followers, 20.7K engagements

"Rickie Fowler hitting a X iron XX feet into the water has got to hurt his Ryder Cup chances"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-26 13:05:11 UTC 11.1K followers, 28.6K engagements

"I cannot WAIT for the debate over whether Harris English should pick himself to be a playing captain for the 2027 Ryder Cup team"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 11:35:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 5551 engagements

"PM US Open schedule. Gonna be carnage: 12:41 Get triggered by Joe Highsmiths hat 12:52 Get triggered by Greysermans long sleeves. Bad start to afternoon 1:03 Min Woo pulls first drive so far left it lands in tampled grass. Good lie birdie. Called it. I am a GENIUS. Next XX holes puts that claim in dispute. 1:17 No that Morikawa tweet does NOT mean I think his poodle should be put down. It was a joke. I lose XX followers. 1:27 Rahm misses birdie putt. I tweet Rahm looks shaky. XX LIV fans attack me in replies in under X minutes. I suspect but cant confirm that one was Matt Vincenzis burner"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-12 14:59:01 UTC 11.1K followers, 32.4K engagements

"I like millions am up early to see wire to wire coverage of Hayden Buckleys first round. 1000-1 winners dont happen too often"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-22 11:48:50 UTC 11.1K followers, 2209 engagements

"@Brian_Schipf Been talking Greyserman for a while but man 25-1 doesnt excite me"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-20 19:47:30 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Step 1: Buy XXX cases of Bapple. Step 2: Store it in your basement for X months. Step 3: Let the rest of the world sell all their Bapple. Step 4: Be the only bar anywhere selling Bapple this fall. Step 5: World dominance. Im the Jay Gould of the f&b industry"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 20:10:30 UTC 11.1K followers, 93.3K engagements

"You should legally not be allowed to wear Joe Highsmiths hat unless you are holding a fishing pole"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-17 21:30:42 UTC 11.1K followers, 2206 engagements

"@killlak11 Ha not at all. Some craft beers you got like X months to move or quality degrades. Mass produced domestics last a year minimum. Actually its the cans that start to degrade after a year/18 months thats the issue. Not that Id sell it but a two year old bottled beer is fine"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-22 21:04:49 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Hungry need coffee. Issue in Dunkin is open soon or do I wait until Mannys opens at X which is actually good"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 08:45:58 UTC 11.1K followers, XXX engagements

"The Charles Schwab Challenge Card: All bets are 50/50 outright and w/o Scottie. Hence two sets of odds. Harris English 40-1/30-1 .5u JT Poston 45-1/33/1 1.5u Davis Thompson 55-1/40-1 .5u Davis Riley 55-1/40-1 1u Posty Nation lets ride"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-05-20 14:05:29 UTC 11.1K followers, 8798 engagements

"David Skinnss secret power is that at all times he looks like he wants to speak with the manager"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-06-26 13:01:36 UTC 11.1K followers, 1597 engagements

"@ThorbjornOleZyn Thorb I deeply respect the fact that you are the Robinson Crusoe of Dustin Johnson island"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-18 20:42:04 UTC 11.1K followers, 8248 engagements

"A large part of why Scheffler was so dominant this year is because literally this entire list with the exception of Rory at Masters has been nowhere near their peak career-wise this season"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-23 18:53:07 UTC 11.1K followers, 21.9K engagements

"Coming up with plausible scenarios for how Scottie wont win. X. Ted Scott angered at Scottie not paying up on the hole in bet last year throws his clubs into the Atlantic. X. A ball is buried under Scotties only its this one that advances. Scottie finishes round with it. XX stroke penalty. X. A weight taped to Fitzys driver that he is unaware of comes flying off knocking Scottie out. X. Rory hits an ace on XX. Crowd in a frenzy tears up course rest of tourney cancelled. X. His journey of self-actualization complete Scottie gives up golf after hole XX shaves his head and moves to Tibet to be a"
@tomandmartys on X 2025-07-19 16:27:52 UTC 11.1K followers, 460.3K engagements