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@blondehotcoffee "hey maam could you please put your crying child on vibrate"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-13T02:23Z 8749 followers, 9780 engagements

"i swear the whole point of benadryl isnt that it relives any symptoms it works because you cant suffer if youre unconscious"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-04T00:48Z 8749 followers, 14.7K engagements

"how do people even get constipated like just push harder"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-08T21:03Z 8747 followers, 19.1K engagements

"@tradfurwife what happened to this"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-14T23:24Z 8749 followers, 39.9K engagements

"do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-09T20:48Z 8749 followers, 280K engagements

"how do people cook with just stuff they have in their house just whip something up with no recipe how do you know what tastes good and how much and how long to cook it and h"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-06T04:06Z 8749 followers, 58.2K engagements

"alternate universe where it wasnt foggy that one christmas eve and rudolph now works a regular 9-5"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-15T21:51Z 8748 followers, 1260 engagements

"@finiteopencover nuh uh i think its the microsoft excel causing cancer not being sedentary"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-14T23:24Z 8749 followers, 77.7K engagements

"what if we just sorted bathrooms by pee bathrooms and poop bathrooms instead of by gender"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-13T04:53Z 8749 followers, 1.3M engagements

"@kumee this should impact your credit score"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-10T05:19Z 8748 followers, 203K engagements

"@anekin777 @Dave35168167 bruh its a joke ofc not every job is X hour shifts 💀"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-15T03:08Z 8749 followers, XXX engagements

"every job is either X hours of getting exposed to cancer causing chemicals or X hours of staring at a microsoft excel sheet"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-14T03:33Z 8749 followers, 6M engagements

"@DiabolicalSpuds easiest Hozier chord"
X Link @blondehotcoffee 2025-10-13T18:57Z 8727 followers, XXX engagements