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@zeta_globin "@amruthapotnuru @secretmeowth @rissaoffline oh I read this as asking for my hs bf's # because I didn't check the parent comment and because I am also very not intelligent I almost just directly posted the # for the chaos too"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:46:46 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"zoomer intern was reprimanded by millenial coworker for using the r word on friday and he just immediately responded he's allowed to use it because he was dyslexic as a kid it was as fast and direct as a lightning strike"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 21:39:28 UTC 14.4K followers, 2.1M engagements

"DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THEY USE ARGON PLASMA BEAMS TO STOP BLEEDS IN THE LIVER you probably did but"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 01:24:26 UTC 14.4K followers, 1948 engagements

"guess which nyc hospital site has the worst rate of post surgery multidrug resistant infections"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 02:51:18 UTC 14.4K followers, 1649 engagements

""ai is revolutionizing biology" meanwhile in biology:"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-17 00:58:42 UTC 14.4K followers, 1791 engagements

"@snuppydogg @yacineMTB you are from the second most inbred ethnic group on the planet"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 14:09:59 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"in 2018 my college boyfriend at seagen made me do a 23&me test after I had already done whole genome sequencing through a friend's startup and 23&me came back as so Finnish I was Chinese and I got targeted ads everywhere afterwards to be an Asian egg donor"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-17 05:04:39 UTC 14.4K followers, 11.6K engagements

"one time I gave a boyfriend one of my favorite books (man in the holocene) and his only comment was I should never let a daughter read it and I still don't know what he meant"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-26 02:11:58 UTC 14.4K followers, 2928 engagements

"does anyone know WHAT specific drugs the tech guy got into any friends know"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 02:11:38 UTC 14.4K followers, 4767 engagements

"planning my entire life around the availability of a centrifuge like the iranians"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-14 04:20:20 UTC 14.4K followers, 4548 engagements

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN I AM IUD FREE AND IT DID NOT REQUIRE SURGERY if you're in new york and have a maybe embedded iud I waited six months for an appointment with this doctor and she did what three other obgyns could not I would include a photo but it's super graphic"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 19:11:20 UTC 14.4K followers, 29.7K engagements

"@Gingercappe one time I was certain I had gallstones and turns out I just have one artery where I should have three"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-26 02:04:23 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"everyone says you have to reply to important cold emails from higher ups pretty immediately but I've actually found thoroughly fact checking the bullshit you're about to send and replying within a couple of hours leads to far fewer blunders"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:17:56 UTC 14.4K followers, 3928 engagements

"started the week with james bond level interstate travel to steal an organ and ended it with mass murder"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-26 01:46:22 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"ALSO she said how women respond to them immunologically actually seems to really depend on the partner which is wild"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 19:14:59 UTC 14.4K followers, 3122 engagements

"@rissaoffline do zoomers not memorize them like millenials do"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:29:04 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"@chadson_ @allgarbled wasn't daniel no fault evicted"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:04:19 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"honestly bless it's like live theatre and you just have to run with it one week they're a german romanticist the next week they're a neuroscientist the following week they're a botanist and the next week a civil engineer"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-25 05:06:22 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"@amruthapotnuru @rissaoffline I even remember my high school boyfriends number because I used his grocery account for food discounts all through undergrad"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:37:23 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"is it just me or did life science go from being XX% female to now like 95%"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 17:54:02 UTC 14.4K followers, 13.3K engagements

"what gives rich people the same joy of receiving something valuable useful and expensive for free"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-16 00:11:05 UTC 14.4K followers, 4887 engagements

"are there any major denial movements for relatively unimportant events in history"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 22:35:02 UTC 14.4K followers, 1674 engagements

"everyone talks about therapy meanwhile I'm like man I wish there were professional insulters that I could hire for the motivation"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 16:56:23 UTC 14.4K followers, 4710 engagements

"how unethical would it be to name my daughter bathsheba"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-17 01:57:49 UTC 14.4K followers, 3429 engagements

"one of the most lifesaving things a med resident ex told me is humans are notoriously bad at localizing internal pain and I've used that as an excuse to ignore as many random stabbing sensations or aches as possible and that generally always works"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-26 01:50:24 UTC 14.4K followers, 7299 engagements

"do you guys ever think about how much money time and planning goes into creating the average ephemeral vibe"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-24 04:52:53 UTC 14.4K followers, 2424 engagements

"@secretmeowth @amruthapotnuru @rissaoffline he was very not intelligent (but very kind) and married an older woman right before covid"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:44:18 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"what snacks should I take to pick up an organ in massachusetts tomorrow"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-20 17:50:12 UTC 14.4K followers, 2088 engagements

"the adult form of interacting with luna lovegood is every once in a while you meet a truly rich but aging kid who just decides to seriously be a different profession every fortnight and everyone around them just humors them because their parents are almost billionaires"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-25 05:03:30 UTC 14.4K followers, 4250 engagements

"friend asked why I never dated in new york and most of the men who grew up near here seem gay to me- like to my bones the core of my being registers them as homosexual- they frequently have the gay male speech accent and everything in addition to quite literally gay interests & mannerisms"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-06-26 23:54:46 UTC 14.4K followers, 599.9K engagements

"@ThatTimeYouSaw nah the device they let me take it home"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 19:27:32 UTC 14.4K followers, 2050 engagements

"zoomer girl in our lab says her method of birth control is only dating rh+ guys as rh-"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-26 02:05:50 UTC 14.4K followers, 4594 engagements

"somewhere in the last XX years it became politically incorrect to ask kids to memorize things & my most heretical belief is that this was one of the worst things that happened to science- you should regularly be pressed to perform rote memorization and entry should be based on it"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 21:25:58 UTC 14.4K followers, 220.4K engagements

"terminal cancer patient in our lab started a betting pool about whether she dies or our director's dog dies first and I love her more than words"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-19 00:14:48 UTC 14.4K followers, 10.1K engagements

"is there an official name for this aesthetic that will look super dated in XX years"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-06-22 02:32:58 UTC 14.4K followers, 564.8K engagements

"@chadson_ @allgarbled the only time I use google anymore is when I need to use twitter search"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:06:24 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements