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@zeta_globin "@amruthapotnuru @secretmeowth @rissaoffline oh I read this as asking for my hs bf's # because I didn't check the parent comment and because I am also very not intelligent I almost just directly posted the # for the chaos too"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:46:46 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"zoomer intern was reprimanded by millenial coworker for using the r word on friday and he just immediately responded he's allowed to use it because he was dyslexic as a kid it was as fast and direct as a lightning strike"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 21:39:28 UTC 14.4K followers, 2.1M engagements

"DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THEY USE ARGON PLASMA BEAMS TO STOP BLEEDS IN THE LIVER you probably did but"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 01:24:26 UTC 14.4K followers, 1889 engagements

"the main reason smart people should have kids has nothing to do with eugenics but rather the reality that their kids are way more tolerable and interesting tbh"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-22 00:55:35 UTC 14.4K followers, 6166 engagements

"once I was working in a biotech outreach program where this unhinged lady wanted to teach viral plaque assays to high schoolers using live unattenuated hsv2 and instead of reporting her to the state (didn't have time)- I just autoclaved the virus before putting it back at -80c"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-07 01:00:30 UTC 14.4K followers, 17.1K engagements

"guys you can memorize amino acid codons while also being aware of strategic misacylation in certain environmental states- it's not hard to learn rules and understand they can be broken"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-22 16:26:37 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"guess which nyc hospital site has the worst rate of post surgery multidrug resistant infections"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 02:51:18 UTC 14.4K followers, 1634 engagements

"there was a ton A TON of blood and I can literally taste copper in my mouth like when I first got it put in in 2019"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 19:54:59 UTC 14.4K followers, 2961 engagements

"in 2018 my college boyfriend at seagen made me do a 23&me test after I had already done whole genome sequencing through a friend's startup and 23&me came back as so Finnish I was Chinese and I got targeted ads everywhere afterwards to be an Asian egg donor"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-17 05:04:39 UTC 14.4K followers, 11.5K engagements

"does anyone know WHAT specific drugs the tech guy got into any friends know"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 02:11:38 UTC 14.4K followers, 4741 engagements

"@mjr1114 oh can you give the technical medical definition of retard to clear that up"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-13 07:04:01 UTC 14.4K followers, 123.3K engagements

"planning my entire life around the availability of a centrifuge like the iranians"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-14 04:20:20 UTC 14.4K followers, 4535 engagements

"the older I get the more I strongly feel point X should always be what clinical data do we have for humans AT ALL because in vitro models are terrible and mouse models are terrible glp drugs would likely have never made it to market had they been intensively studied in mice"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 01:59:33 UTC 14.4K followers, 2678 engagements

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN I AM IUD FREE AND IT DID NOT REQUIRE SURGERY if you're in new york and have a maybe embedded iud I waited six months for an appointment with this doctor and she did what three other obgyns could not I would include a photo but it's super graphic"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-18 19:11:20 UTC 14.4K followers, 29.6K engagements

"me in personal life: "oh my god that broke on day X and is $XX I'm going to do the amazon return" me in my professional life: "that grant is under 500k and not worth our time""
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 21:16:30 UTC 14.4K followers, 3569 engagements

"everyone says you have to reply to important cold emails from higher ups pretty immediately but I've actually found thoroughly fact checking the bullshit you're about to send and replying within a couple of hours leads to far fewer blunders"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:17:56 UTC 14.4K followers, 3322 engagements

"I need like a month off to go to california washington state and texas"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-22 02:30:50 UTC 14.4K followers, 1851 engagements

"@rissaoffline do zoomers not memorize them like millenials do"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:29:04 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"outside of traveling to see other family I sincerely do not get why you would travel as a family"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 14:04:40 UTC 14.4K followers, 10.2K engagements

"@chadson_ @allgarbled wasn't daniel no fault evicted"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:04:19 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"@amruthapotnuru @rissaoffline I even remember my high school boyfriends number because I used his grocery account for food discounts all through undergrad"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:37:23 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"is it just me or did life science go from being XX% female to now like 95%"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 17:54:02 UTC 14.4K followers, 13.2K engagements

"are there any major denial movements for relatively unimportant events in history"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 22:35:02 UTC 14.4K followers, 1665 engagements

"everyone talks about therapy meanwhile I'm like man I wish there were professional insulters that I could hire for the motivation"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-12 16:56:23 UTC 14.4K followers, 4688 engagements

"did you guys know the main genetic risk for macular degeneration also dramatically increases your risk for foreign body reactions I did not"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 19:20:06 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"how unethical would it be to name my daughter bathsheba"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-17 01:57:49 UTC 14.4K followers, 3406 engagements

"you have no idea how much I wish this wasn't just my real life waiting for a centrifuge at 12:21 am on a sunday night/monday morning"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-14 04:21:47 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"what snacks should I take to pick up an organ in massachusetts tomorrow"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-20 17:50:12 UTC 14.4K followers, 2059 engagements

"@secretmeowth @amruthapotnuru @rissaoffline he was very not intelligent (but very kind) and married an older woman right before covid"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:44:18 UTC 14.4K followers, XX engagements

"friend asked why I never dated in new york and most of the men who grew up near here seem gay to me- like to my bones the core of my being registers them as homosexual- they frequently have the gay male speech accent and everything in addition to quite literally gay interests & mannerisms"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-06-26 23:54:46 UTC 14.4K followers, 599.4K engagements

"somewhere in the last XX years it became politically incorrect to ask kids to memorize things & my most heretical belief is that this was one of the worst things that happened to science- you should regularly be pressed to perform rote memorization and entry should be based on it"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 21:25:58 UTC 14.4K followers, 217K engagements

"terminal cancer patient in our lab started a betting pool about whether she dies or our director's dog dies first and I love her more than words"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-19 00:14:48 UTC 14.4K followers, 10.1K engagements

"fixed my own sink by using o3 the era of ai boyfriends is here"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-13 20:31:36 UTC 14.4K followers, 7753 engagements

"assortive mating is all fun and good until you're like oh our kids would definitely blow up a continent purely out of curiosity and capability"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 06:03:26 UTC 14.4K followers, 5276 engagements

"is there an official name for this aesthetic that will look super dated in XX years"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-06-22 02:32:58 UTC 14.4K followers, 564.8K engagements

"@chadson_ @allgarbled the only time I use google anymore is when I need to use twitter search"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 04:06:24 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"sometimes I feel insecure about occasionally being a hot mess but then I see the forest from the trees and realize grand overarching cross-institutional infrastructural dysfunction is so far reaching that I really shouldn't feel bad"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-22 22:45:22 UTC 14.4K followers, 1224 engagements

"my dad grew up in kettering ohio where nearby the mound labs from project dayton kept busy making things like radioactive pacemakers that worked great but did blow up crematoriums in the 90s even though the atomic energy commission said they wouldn't"
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-23 06:22:57 UTC 14.4K followers, XXX engagements

"everytime I see it I'm like "oh yeah that was by far the most stressful part of my childhood for both my parents and me and like its own dedicated circle of hell""
@zeta_globin on X 2025-07-21 14:06:01 UTC 14.4K followers, 1153 engagements