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@TheOnion "Marine Wonders What Will Become Of Angelenos Left Behind As Chopper Rises Into Sky"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-22 22:00:13 UTC 11.2M followers, 96.7K engagements

"Message Hidden Backward In Black Sabbath Album Wishes Everyone A Good Time Listening To Rock And Roll"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-22 20:35:00 UTC 11.2M followers, 94.6K engagements

"Wow youve got the whole room tarped upyou guys doing some painting later said Ghislaine Maxwell"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-25 00:15:05 UTC 11.2M followers, 118.6K engagements

"Dunkin Announces They No Longer Have Heart To Charge People For Such Depressing Meals"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-28 15:00:35 UTC 11.2M followers, 23.7K engagements

"No Way To Prevent This Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens"
@TheOnion on X 2024-12-16 22:07:04 UTC 11.2M followers, 710.8K engagements

"Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-16 15:30:10 UTC 11.2M followers, 319.5K engagements

"Alabama Governor Signs New Heartbeat Bill Lowering States Age Of Consent"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-22 19:00:28 UTC 11.2M followers, 76.3K engagements

"Must Be A Waymo Bystanders Say Of Moron Stuck Backing Up In Alley For Half Hour"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-21 15:00:33 UTC 11.2M followers, 66.1K engagements

"HR Improves Company Morale By Giving Employees Constant Stream Of Dumbass Bullshit To Mock"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-25 18:00:29 UTC 11.2M followers, 68.5K engagements

"DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-19 19:00:10 UTC 11.2M followers, 96.3K engagements

"Study: Majority Of Billionaires Consider Selves Middle Class"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-16 15:03:01 UTC 11.2M followers, 126.3K engagements

"Milwaukee Removes Fonzie Statue Amid Reckoning With Greaser Past"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-11 15:00:49 UTC 11.2M followers, 408.6K engagements

"Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started"
@TheOnion on X 2025-06-13 17:50:08 UTC 11.2M followers, 3.5M engagements

"Trump: Im Not In These Nonexistent Files Concocted To Destroy Me"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-23 21:35:07 UTC 11.2M followers, 225.6K engagements

"Elderly Woman Keeps Mind Active Justifying Trumps Actions"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-20 16:00:14 UTC 11.2M followers, 85.7K engagements

"Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-14 21:19:43 UTC 11.2M followers, 229.9K engagements

"White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-15 16:03:19 UTC 11.2M followers, 343K engagements

"Fantastic Fours Pedro Pascal Recalls Working With Trainer To Stretch Limbs XX Feet"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-25 20:00:14 UTC 11.2M followers, 89.1K engagements

"Trump: Im Not In These Nonexistent Files Concocted To Destroy Me"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-17 20:30:11 UTC 11.2M followers, 205.2K engagements

"Elderly Woman Keeps Mind Active Justifying Trumps Actions"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-17 20:00:19 UTC 11.2M followers, 138.9K engagements

"Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-19 16:00:18 UTC 11.2M followers, 213.6K engagements

"Elon Musk Holds Up AI Girlfriend App So She Can See"
@TheOnion on X 2025-01-20 16:10:10 UTC 11.2M followers, 437.1K engagements

"Ghislaine Maxwell Cant Help But Notice Interview Room Covered In Plastic Sheeting"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-27 15:00:14 UTC 11.2M followers, 89.8K engagements

"Ghislaine Maxwell Cant Help But Notice Interview Room Covered In Plastic Sheeting"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-24 19:30:08 UTC 11.2M followers, 319.7K engagements

"Couple's Divorce Stuns Tight-Knit Community Of Manhattan"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-18 19:00:21 UTC 11.2M followers, 76.5K engagements

"Trump: We Could Argue All Day About Who Is Or Isnt A Child Rapist"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-24 18:39:06 UTC 11.2M followers, 133.5K engagements

"The House Will Take A Short Recess Declares Mike Johnson Dousing Capitol In Gasoline"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-24 18:00:21 UTC 11.2M followers, 86.4K engagements

"Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-15 15:00:33 UTC 11.2M followers, 652.6K engagements

"MAGA Voter Drills Hole Into Skull To Relieve Sudden Doubts About Trump"
@TheOnion on X 2025-07-15 20:00:17 UTC 11.2M followers, 349.1K engagements