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@laserboat999 "Dude I remember you from Uruk. The great-walled city of Uruk do you remember All those years ago Do you remember Uruk's great walls"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-03T00:35Z 116.1K followers, 172K engagements

"My dad went to Boston for the first time and stayed really close to where the Boston Massacre happened. He told me he couldn't sleep all night because he was thinking about the Boston Massacre. Then in the morning he went on a "Swan Boat" and said everything was alright again"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-11T21:02Z 116.1K followers, 166.2K engagements

"@ludwigABAP Engagement should pick up around 9AM PST good looks playboy"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-08-13T14:14Z 115.6K followers, 64.1K engagements

"The best part about the Battlefield games isnt the tanks the shooting the rockets. The best part is going prone in a tiny place and becoming a beautiful secret that absolutely nobody knows about"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T02:22Z 116.1K followers, 48.1K engagements

"Wonderful autumn stroll today. Spent all day crinklecrunching leaves in my new balances. Currently assplastered on the curb behind the Mobil engaging in libation considering the finer points of the month of October. I will be reviewing the Bull of Heaven tomorrow"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-16T23:08Z 116.2K followers, 31.2K engagements

"@bon_grons Road dome no hands on the turnpike call that a Freedom Ride"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-11T21:18Z 116.1K followers, XXX engagements

"TRUMP VOICE: Anansi the horrible spider the trickster of the ages"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-01T22:00Z 116.1K followers, 72.4K engagements

"If you ran into a guy like this on a riverboat gambling den in 1855 you were fucked about to be drained of all your lands holdings accounts farm machinery & livestock he would leave you with nothing"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-16T22:44Z 116.2K followers, 324.6K engagements

"Bringing the bloomberg terminal to the function slung on my body like an infant so I don't miss a second of the utterly scintillating Chinese stock market"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-15T00:15Z 116.1K followers, 12K engagements

"Sold this drawing of bob dylan to the bartender for X miller high life"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-09T00:43Z 116.1K followers, 46.1K engagements

"Noticing things"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-01T06:44Z 116.1K followers, 218.6K engagements

"Most influential texts in sillicon valley Enders game Snow crash Misreadings of Jorge luis borges Anything by brandon sanderson The very hungry caterpillar If you give a mouse a cookie"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-29T02:23Z 115.6K followers, 234.5K engagements

"If you're hopping on Peasantry Online tonight I would suggest a town crier / town drunk multispec this way you don't have to do anything anything other than walk back and inform townspeople about odious plague vile pestilence all while farming easy levels spamming free cider"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T22:14Z 116.2K followers, 12K engagements

"They're trying to make the bots quirk chungus now it's rough out there"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-16T06:04Z 116.2K followers, 29.9K engagements

"Drake song called 8pm in Chongqing"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-29T16:01Z 115.6K followers, 389.6K engagements

"We brought a dead alien to the hibachi grill and let them cut him up it smelled like the Gulf War in there for 60-90 business days"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-25T19:40Z 115.6K followers, 88.7K engagements

"Son have you ever owned a chud Can you answer that question Have you ever glassed a chud in the quote retweets for your country"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-03T22:26Z 116.1K followers, 40.5K engagements

"Hell Is A Glacier 19293282 Dead Warmies Suit Up And Hit The Berg Thawhead Been Berg'd So Long Forgot What Warm Feels Like 99999999999999 Years Of Ice War I Used To Pray To Jove For Times Like This"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-04-18T20:10Z 115.6K followers, 104.1K engagements

"One of the hardest science fiction jobs must be the guy who hires backup dancers at a skeezy alien strip club You have to make the tableau erotic to 832492312 different kinds of aliens"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-01T21:23Z 116.2K followers, 19.1K engagements

"There should be a small roadside shack placed all around the country called the US Government Store that lets you buy up small pieces of the government. They sell things like one small pebble that gives you the deed to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX% of Yosemite National Park"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-30T00:00Z 116.1K followers, 11.2K engagements

"The new battlefield lets you go apartment to apartment in new york city gunning down NATO troops"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-13T00:54Z 116.1K followers, 66.8K engagements

"My latest invention. I couldn't tell you what it is or what it does but what I can tell you is that there is nothing else like it on this planet. Selling for $50000000"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-16T11:50Z 116.2K followers, 35K engagements

"My favorite line of dialogue from Christopher Nolans Tenet: Tenet is an organization"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-24T18:59Z 115.6K followers, 18.7K engagements

"I need $XXX million dollars to make my bob dylan MMO everybody plays a different bob there's an infinitely expanding class tree with a limitless variety of bobs to spec into. You can end up as an orthodox priest or a communist guerrilla. You can even soundcloud rap"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T00:48Z 116.2K followers, 65.2K engagements

"@dylan_gorrin VISIONS OF YOUR CHESTNUT MARE SHOOT THROUGH MY HEAD AND ARE MAKING ME SEE STARS"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T01:05Z 116.1K followers, XXX engagements

"Full sugar monster tastes like getting into a fight with your girlfriend at the bowling alley"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-30T22:35Z 116.1K followers, 25.6K engagements

"Blood on the tracks perfect album classic bob dylan fusion of opposites which are: merry little trickster and The Most Divorced Man"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T00:40Z 116.1K followers, 11.7K engagements

"The Free Press might be the only media organization in history that's exclusively composed of people (both male and female) that have constructed at least one elaborate sexual fantasy featuring Bill Maher"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T01:31Z 116.1K followers, 11.8K engagements

"I like how the Young Republicans all store their groyped mass in their central torso. They look like they've been genetically engineered to survive golf cart crashes"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T22:11Z 116.1K followers, 5.2M engagements

"I will be reviewing the beverage known as "White Monster" soon not in English not in Farsi and not in Mandarin but in my brand new Proprietary Language System tentatively titled Donald Boat's New Hieroglyphics for a New Century"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T01:04Z 116.2K followers, 273.5K engagements

"I bought this stupid-ass horsey shirt at a thrift store for $X. I wore it to my favorite biker bar exactly once and now every time I walk in they call me The Congressman"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-09T07:08Z 116.1K followers, 3.2M engagements

"Listen to me now: Never never take these computer people at face value. As soon as they build a machine of overwhelming might they are going to send it against you and everyone you love. Not to kill you (unless you live in a certain part of the world where it is legal to kill as many people as you want) but to make your life just a little bit worse a little bit more undignified every year. They already have. Your mother will drive herself into spasms of religious hysteria over reels your father will not watch TV anymore he will watch precariously aged AI golfers hit the skimpiest of shots out"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-30T17:58Z 116.1K followers, 437.2K engagements

"Guy at a bar last night gave me The Device. I asked what it does. He said Dont worry about it. Its good to have The Device on you at all times. It may come in handy"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-20T22:56Z 115.6K followers, 160.9K engagements

"Loling at this guy trying to use him like Grok"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-10T01:04Z 116.1K followers, 195.9K engagements

"Paradox should make a paleolithic map game the tech tree starts with the rock ends at the wheel. You have to wage cave war on your fellow hominid for XXX million years straight. There is no text anywhere. The user interface is composed of figurines and sundials"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-30T01:12Z 115.7K followers, 119.9K engagements

"soviet alec baldwin offers you the blunt. do you accept"
X Link @laserboat999 2021-07-22T02:55Z 116.1K followers, XX engagements

"Please message me if you have -Experience working at Texas Roadhouse in any capacity -Have insider / secret information about the Abbott Texas Government -Have deep and extensive knowledge of a. The Beef Industry b. Texas history 1836-1945 c. Cowboys"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-08-31T18:34Z 116.1K followers, 29.8K engagements

"Suspended in the Anheuser-Busch stealth soldier yeast lab like a bacta tank I'm letting the Stella Artois hit my blood barrier like DMT brain death the world's first third person shooter to run on a Large Beer Model"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-08-30T18:35Z 116K followers, 23K engagements

"Dedicated fencing room on public transit"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-14T23:54Z 116.1K followers, 9234 engagements

"Guys it may seem like their overt plan is to turn your children and grandparents into droolslurping morons for XXX% year over year subscription growth but they actually need to make 5000000 videos of an elephant walking into McDonalds to cure cancer"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-09-30T17:30Z 115.6K followers, 530.7K engagements

"Taking one sniff each out of every pair of these shoes and incubating the worlds most lethal parasite in my brain"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-10T02:11Z 116.1K followers, 50.8K engagements

"I met Joe Biden only once in the shadow of a pale evening Delaware 1996. He was flickering. His textures were bugged. He was low resolution. He whispered in my ear: "Linoleum. Frankfurt. Buffalo. Hbbbhbbhbha." The next day there was a mudslide in Pakistan. 81000 people died"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-01T20:34Z 115.6K followers, 43.1K engagements

"Technology people on here are obsessed with the concepts of "ESOTERIC" and "SCHIZO" (rendered completely meaningless by their usage) because they REALLY BORING and have NOTHING GOING ON and think that SAYING THESE THINGS makes you AUTOMATICALLY COOL"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-03T18:51Z 116.1K followers, 39.4K engagements

"Substack writer: I wrote about the gnashing maw of technocapital hyperdubai and the wet chocolatey interior of plape stage capitalism Cave writer:"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-02T05:38Z 116.1K followers, 141.6K engagements

"My first move in the white house will be to issue totally ceremonial exceedingly baroque sabers epaulette & revolvers to garbagemen postal workers and train conductors. IRS agents will get a scepter"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-14T23:49Z 116.1K followers, 23.3K engagements

"Don't worry. I'm on the way to sort this out"
X Link @laserboat999 2025-10-15T00:05Z 116.1K followers, 23K engagements