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@JuiceSimpsons "One time I told this kid at school that Hulk Hogan said he had the biggest arms in the world (24-inch pythons) and the kid said there's no way bc his dad knew a guy with HUGE arms and so I said I think Hogan meant how long they were and the kid said oh ok makes sense"
@JuiceSimpsons on X 2025-07-25 19:16:33 UTC 2475 followers, XXX engagements

""Go back to your mo-BILE home" I didn't think Jon Lovitz would have the best line in Happy Gilmore X but there you go"
@JuiceSimpsons on X 2025-07-26 01:07:41 UTC 2474 followers, XXX engagements

"Hulk Hogan RIP (P stands for Poop in my gym brother HH)"
@JuiceSimpsons on X 2025-07-24 16:36:42 UTC 2474 followers, XXX engagements

"@Criminalsimpson One time our disgraced mayor Rob Ford met with disgraced Canadian track star Ben Johnson and I said they were similar in that one once had a sub-10 second foot race while the other once raced to have a second 10-foot sub. It did not get the accolades I wished"
@JuiceSimpsons on X 2025-07-25 21:58:39 UTC 2474 followers, 1819 engagements

"I'm not sure who directed Happy Gilmore X but they made it so even the professional actors are as stilted and awkward as the sports and music celebrities. It's really something"
@JuiceSimpsons on X 2025-07-26 01:20:57 UTC 2474 followers, XXX engagements