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@jarvis_best
"hahahahahahaha"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T16:03Z 93.1K followers, 20.8K engagements
"What if the GoonBot 3000 is better than AGI"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T03:02Z 93.1K followers, 79.8K engagements
"Guy posts a screenshot of Steve Jobs' daughter and earns $10K but I post pictures of people's kids and I am yelled at and blocked and everyone hates me and says they are going to come to my house and cave my head in"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T21:29Z 93.1K followers, 25.4K engagements
"It is good what youre doing. It pleases me"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T17:05Z 92.8K followers, 34.9K engagements
"I don't understand. Iowa State has punted X times for XXX yards and yet they're still losing. What gives"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T21:47Z 93.1K followers, 14.1K engagements
"If you are like me and have really enjoyed Bens voice over the years please let me know so that we can all gather together sometime soon and stage an intervention"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T15:53Z 93.1K followers, 18.1K engagements
"Yesterday: Zohran Mamdani runs the Gaza 5K Today: Peace in the Middle East And hes not even mayor yet"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T20:23Z 93.1K followers, 25.1K engagements
"Jaxson Darts mom is turning this team around"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T14:21Z 92.8K followers, 19.7K engagements
"This sandwich is one of the greatest things to ever be in my mouth"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T16:41Z 93.1K followers, 10.1K engagements
"Congratulations to Erik Spoelstra. Man is absolutely locked in. Focused. Highly focused"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T19:34Z 93.1K followers, 217.9K engagements
"My man doesn't miss. Jordan in his prime"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T22:14Z 93.1K followers, 121.3K engagements
"Come on man. A jihadist names Jihad shows up at a synagogue and the cops show up and shoot the Jews"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-03T12:55Z 92.8K followers, 66.4K engagements
"Sam Altman out here spending $4T to finally make Commander Rikers Holodeck Custom Program Six a reality and you nerds are nitpicking. Unbelievable"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T03:05Z 93.1K followers, 11.1K engagements
"What IS the mood on Bluesky"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T00:40Z 92.8K followers, 110.7K engagements
"I think what makes the Chiefs such a challenging opponent is how the refs always call the game in their favor"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T00:58Z 93.1K followers, 29.2K engagements
"People are making jokes about Canadian thanksgiving but the truth is that its a beautiful holiday with a rich heritage where families would gather to thank the Lord for the years harvest of All Dressed Chips before driving their mentally challenged nephew to the MAID shop"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T18:16Z 93.1K followers, 47.2K engagements
"All the Republicans celebrating the cancellation of Jimmy Kimmel will have to deal with the fact that when a Democrat is back in power they could cancel funny conservatives. People like um"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-09-18T12:45Z 93.1K followers, 2.2M engagements
"Shout out to @AliceFromQueens who like me tries to be intellectually honest while running an anonymous account and is also a woman"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T15:40Z 93.1K followers, 42.8K engagements
"I am going to become the joker"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T15:57Z 93.1K followers, 6154 engagements
"@redsteeze Canadians are notoriously rude and prone to violence. Very sad to see. Very dangerous up there"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T22:48Z 92.9K followers, 6591 engagements
"I am very happy about this"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T23:53Z 93.1K followers, 42.3K engagements
"looks like they're already starting"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T01:15Z 93.1K followers, 55.5K engagements
"The Athletic: Seattle. Toronto. Is this the wokest ALCS of all time"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T02:30Z 93.1K followers, 10.9K engagements
"Edvard Munch was a top notch painter but he ended up drinking a bit much and got shot by his lover which ended up giving him some esoteric feelings about pleasure and pain. So I hear"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T03:59Z 93.1K followers, 20.1K engagements
"This is objectively better than what we have now plus I bet they let you bring your own booze on board"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T00:49Z 93.1K followers, 40.3K engagements
"DELETE THIS"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T16:52Z 93.1K followers, 23.3K engagements
"I invest in Bitcoin because the value of the dollar is so unstable"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T13:53Z 92.8K followers, 10.4K engagements
"Once again the Buffs beat a ranked opponent. Time to put Colorado in the national title conversation"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T23:01Z 93.1K followers, 11.5K engagements
"Entering my Terry Silver era"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-04T14:53Z 92.8K followers, 11.4K engagements
"Hasan at the end of Old Yeller"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T03:42Z 92.9K followers, 19.6K engagements
"how can anyone not love this woman"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T23:16Z 93.1K followers, 36.9K engagements
"Obama taking a lot of heat for his brutalist presidential library but people forget that only this type of construction can withstand that tough Chicago weather of strong wind big temperature swings and near constant spray of stray bullets"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T20:36Z 93.1K followers, 102.6K engagements
"Obviously theres some generalization here and people agree or disagree because of their own experiences. All I can say is that my wife is X days postpartum here and yeah shes got a lot of work to do but that doesnt mean Im going to stop loving her in the meantime"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T03:51Z 93.1K followers, 1.2M engagements
"He's drunk with power. He's trampling on the constitution. He abuses millions. He is a danger to his enemies and friends alike. But despite all his flaws I still support Justin Bieber"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T00:06Z 92.8K followers, 16.5K engagements
"My friends on here fight with each other constantly. Pointless sniping personal insults bad faith taking each other out of context. This pleases me"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T23:36Z 93.1K followers, 12.2K engagements
"So Gary its Friday night. Yes. And its the very beginning of the hockey season and all the fans are super excited about their teams. Yes Dave. And youre not going to show ANY hockey games Not one Thats correct Dave"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T01:42Z 93.1K followers, 16.9K engagements
"What is this a town hall in freaking Russia 🤣"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T00:49Z 93.1K followers, 21.7K engagements
"Dont care for Italians but they nailed this one"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T14:31Z 93.1K followers, 14.8K engagements
"I don't need a "Nobel Prize" to validate my accomplishments. The recognition of man means nothing to me. I just want the money the prize comes with"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T14:41Z 92.8K followers, 12.7K engagements
"In related news I have no further use for the Jarvisaccount and will be closing it down. Its been fun to hang out with you guys and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T11:39Z 93.1K followers, 47.4K engagements
"Travis Kelce is perhaps the fifth best tight end in this game"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T02:27Z 93.1K followers, 10.8K engagements
"@ccadelago @melmason @politico She's amazing"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-08T21:57Z 93.1K followers, 16.5K engagements
"Jeff with all due respect X is no place for posting inappropriate thoughts about female politicians. Let's keep it classy ok"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T23:44Z 93.1K followers, 57.5K engagements
"Its weird how in England tweeting is illegal but beating up ambulance drivers isnt"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T14:59Z 93.1K followers, 11.8K engagements
"I need to do some mean tweets about the Cincinnati. Cincinnati: The Pride of Whatever State Cincinnati Is In Anyone have some stuff they want to get off their chest about Cincinnati"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-09-29T15:25Z 92.9K followers, 42.1K engagements
"We have been consistent and vocal on this point"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T02:23Z 93.1K followers, 12.6K engagements
"Hahahahahaha I didnt know this"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T17:45Z 93.1K followers, 20.2K engagements
"How can you not love this man. I hope hes in Congress forever"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-06T16:04Z 93K followers, 32.8K engagements
"Everyone is having a good laugh at this but I think its awful. Our authorities need to be able to deadlift XXX. America has the chonkiest rioters in the world. X plates or go get a job making sandwiches"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-05T18:04Z 93K followers, 113.7K engagements
"I apologize for posting a XX second video. I realize XX seconds is a long time. But I promise you that the video could not have been XX seconds long. You need to watch the whole XX. Trust me on this. Do not end the video X second early. That final second is worth it"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T19:14Z 93.1K followers, 60.2K engagements
"What the 12th beer says to me when I ask it if I should crack it open:"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-09-22T21:30Z 93.1K followers, 1.7M engagements
"@ice @AGPamBondi"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T23:52Z 93.1K followers, 30.1K engagements
"I think my biggest problem with helicopters is all the crashing"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T23:22Z 93.1K followers, 19.7K engagements
"So you gave Juan Soto $XXX million. Yes. Your total payroll is over $XXX million with about $XX million going to injured pitchers. Yes Dave. And you didnt make the playoffs. Thats correct Dave"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T18:49Z 93.1K followers, 66.5K engagements
"The greatest restaurant in the world is a gas station frequented by fat people i dont know what the hell else to tell you. These are the facts"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T16:47Z 93.1K followers, 66.8K engagements
"Im like XX% sure my body has spent the day creating a new more lethal form of covid so this probably my last tweet. Ive had a good run. Have a great weekend. Lift weights go to church enjoy life follow your dreams. God loves you and so do I. Signing off forever probably. 🫡"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-09-05T21:27Z 93.1K followers, 54.9K engagements
"So you asked a frog for a ride across the river. Yes Dave. And you know that if you sting him youll both drown. Thats correct Dave. And you stung him anyway. Lmao Dave"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T21:07Z 93.1K followers, 102.6K engagements
"I'm torn on Hasan. Seems like a good guy. Good poster. Good streamer. Very racist. But zapping a dog man"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-08T19:37Z 93.1K followers, 49.1K engagements
"I love that thing where youre trying to read a magazine article on your phone and it keeps getting freaking waterboarded with pop-ups and auto-refreshes and so you lose your temper and throw your phone into the toilet"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T12:59Z 93.1K followers, 22.2K engagements
"wait what is happening to the market"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T16:06Z 93.1K followers, 37K engagements
"Literally what the hell are the Jets doing"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T14:55Z 93.1K followers, 13.3K engagements
"So everyone agrees that the Chiefs Lions game last night was the worst officiated game of the year right"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T12:44Z 93.1K followers, 38.4K engagements
"HUGE: Republicans have traded MTG for John Fetterman and a mid-sized city mayor to be named later per Adam Schefter"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T23:49Z 93.1K followers, 250.5K engagements
"I havent followed the war. Its honestly too upsetting for me. But I know my buddy Waj has been posting about it nonstop for two years so I wanted to see how happy he was that it might be over. I was surprised he spent the day tweeting about the Epstein files"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T00:24Z 93.1K followers, 34.2K engagements
"Patrick Mahomess father is a drunken hobo who challenged John Rocker to a fight and then didnt show up"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T02:33Z 93.1K followers, 19.5K engagements
"Historically October is a very good month for stocks"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T21:59Z 93.1K followers, 11.4K engagements
"👇important"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T00:00Z 93.1K followers, 23K engagements
"Rise and grind kings. Get that stationary"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T13:07Z 93.1K followers, 10.3K engagements
"Someone talk me out of putting money on the Ravens to win the Super Bowl at +2200. They have the best RB in the league and a top X QB. They lost to the two best teams in football (Bills and Lions) on super fluky late 4th quarter fumbles. They beat the Browns. They lost the next three games because their MVP QB is injured but he's coming back"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T20:58Z 93.1K followers, 21.1K engagements
"hands off my g*n libs"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T18:49Z 93.1K followers, 104.5K engagements
"In honor of Columbus Day: My breakfast 🙏"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T14:30Z 93.1K followers, 38.9K engagements
"This football game is going to go down in history as without question a football game"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T15:53Z 93.1K followers, 11K engagements
"Just say youre going to primary him Its fine Everyone hates him Hes Chuck Schumer"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-16T02:21Z 93.1K followers, 5958 engagements
"My black market ozempy ran out and it took forever to get some more so I was without it for about a month and I finally got a new vial yesterday and shot up immediately like a heroin addict and then worked until midnight and woke up this morning and LEVITATED around the block it has a vitamin B12 component and I am very sensitive to it I could literally not figuratively run through a brick wall right now"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T12:39Z 92.8K followers, 25.6K engagements
"hahahahahaha"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T18:25Z 93.1K followers, 29.6K engagements
"hahahahaha this guy is always getting into wacky scrapes"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T22:25Z 93.1K followers, 247.5K engagements
"@NancyMace Funniest possible outcome:"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T23:28Z 93K followers, 2869 engagements
"Wait really What the hell do Canadians have to be thankful for"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T18:08Z 93.1K followers, 32.6K engagements
"Entering my finance bro era"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T21:11Z 93.1K followers, 13.6K engagements
"(immediately gets elected to public office in Minnesota)"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T17:44Z 93.1K followers, 723.9K engagements
"This does sound like something I would say"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T21:16Z 93.1K followers, 19.1K engagements
"Haaaaaaaahahahaha AOC you gonna primary Chuck Schumer AOC/Bernie simultaneously: GRAABDJAIWODIDNDJDKDMFKCKVOTOOQQPEIFJCNFKDKE"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-16T02:18Z 93.1K followers, 28.7K engagements
"It's not even a big deal. Small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Standard operating procedure. It's just a bummer that when you read the NYT you have to do your own live fact-checking because you KNOW they are going to lie. When I read a NYT article when I'm done I think to myself "hey that was interesting I wonder if it was true.""
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T15:34Z 92.9K followers, 59.5K engagements
"What a week. You guys crushed it. I hope you get to relax this weekend and unwind. Pet a cat watch some sports have something delicious. Life is good. God loves you and so do I. Cheers baby. 🥂"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T00:06Z 92.8K followers, 21.2K engagements
"@NancyMace @DavidMowry18 I've literally watched it HUNDREDS of times I'm watching it right now again"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T23:45Z 93K followers, XXX engagements
"All you queens out there take note:"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-05T02:34Z 93.1K followers, 72K engagements
"Theres a lot of talk going around so Im just going to come out and say it. Yes I know Katie Porter in real life. Yes we used to date. People ask me all the time - was she nice No She yelled at me. She called me names. She slapped me in the face. She even pushed me down some stairs. I begged and pleaded for a second date but she said no"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T17:26Z 93.1K followers, 84.8K engagements
"They should have gotten out of her fucking shot"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T04:10Z 93K followers, 77.8K engagements
"Phase 1: Write NYT article about Bari Weiss. Tweet the article with the most negative slant you can muster. Don't allow replies. Phase 2: Conclude the article with a quote from Weiss that makes it look like she's expressing undying devotion to the Federalist Society. Omit the laughter and the next thing she said in that speech which was "BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS . . . " Phase 3: NYT economics reporter has a communist fit and says the Weiss quote proves she is a greedy capitalist or something. Phase 4: When your friends point out that you are misrepresenting things tell them that no you are right"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T15:29Z 93.1K followers, 312.8K engagements
"Bengals need to run the pick six play"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T22:41Z 93.1K followers, 14.5K engagements
"@TrishChristakis Jesus Christ"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T19:34Z 92.8K followers, 15.3K engagements
"Went into a bathroom with bright lights. Looked in the mirror. Saw all the way through my hair to my scalp"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T16:46Z 93.1K followers, 29.3K engagements
"I hesitate to ask but. What's the mood on Bluesky"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T16:14Z 93.1K followers, 643.8K engagements
"Hasan to his dog Katie to her humans 🤝"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-08T22:56Z 93.1K followers, 29.7K engagements
"The perfect sport doesn't exi . . "
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T17:01Z 93.1K followers, 89.1K engagements
"Unbelievable. Now hes even plagiarizing Charlie Kirk"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T20:25Z 93.1K followers, 52.7K engagements
"Many people are saying"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-06T21:53Z 92.9K followers, 11.7K engagements
"With respect to the Politico article I want to be clear: we here at the Jarvis Account denounce all college students everywhere without exception"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T02:21Z 93.1K followers, 44.3K engagements
"I am a founder. In the sense that I found some food on the ground"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-10T15:17Z 93.1K followers, 27.8K engagements
"Im not gonna go to church today. Ill watch some sheister tv preacher later today. Being Protestant rules"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T15:05Z 93.1K followers, 15.9K engagements
"Hey so hows it going at work Do you have any feedback for us AM I BEING DETAINED AM I BEING DETAINED"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T00:17Z 93.1K followers, 11.4K engagements
"@3YearLetterman I dunno Colorado State will give you a hell of a fight"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T01:06Z 93.1K followers, 3359 engagements
"Broncos win"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T16:45Z 93.1K followers, 15.1K engagements
"The Legendary Running of the Tall Spinning Bearded Ladies"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-08T16:07Z 92.8K followers, 13.6K engagements
"That's the thing. The Bills are the favorites despite having a horrible defense and no receivers. I'd rather take the Colts at +2000 the Ravens or even the Chargers at +1800 than the Bills at +450"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T21:03Z 93.1K followers, 13.2K engagements
"As the real American Man I am support this"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T18:04Z 93.1K followers, 20.8K engagements
"Give him a break we've all made dumb mistakes when we're drunk"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T22:27Z 93.1K followers, 15.1K engagements
"Weve had our policy differences in the past and we will no doubt disagree in the future but we cannot deny that peace in the Middle East would not have happened without the incredible work of Ms. Greta Thunberg"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T19:21Z 93.1K followers, 36.2K engagements
"Stop trying to community note me"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T01:52Z 93.1K followers, 22.2K engagements
"Gonna have to take your word on that google ai"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-14T15:09Z 93.1K followers, 15.8K engagements
"BREAKING: X will soon be displaying every users sexual orientation on their public profiles"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-15T01:13Z 93.1K followers, 340K engagements
"You know that movie The Replacements where Keanu Reeves and Orlando Jones are brought in to play professional football The 49ers might need to do that. Like literally bring in the actors"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T22:51Z 93.1K followers, 11.1K engagements
"I've been watching this company for a while and have been playing around with the software. There's nothing else quite like it. I'm super excited to see where it goes"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-09T15:40Z 93K followers, 17.6K engagements
"Colorado v. Iowa State which is interesting because I don't think of Iowa as a "state" so much as an open air prison for mental and moral defectives"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-11T20:12Z 93.1K followers, 44.3K engagements
"Josh Al-Len and the Buffalo Caliphate have fallen. Patriots in control"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-06T03:30Z 93K followers, 12.4K engagements
"I feel like I've lost my identity. This account is all over the place. Politics sports stocks snacks whatever. I need to get back to my roots: posting fake Supreme Court opinions"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-06T18:13Z 93K followers, 26.5K engagements
"Time to grab your mate and go to the pub and get yourself a pint of ale and hoist the name of the British flag and watch the Broncos in London. Lets go"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-12T13:15Z 93.1K followers, 21K engagements
"I could eat XX of these things"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-13T18:50Z 93.1K followers, 7983 engagements
"Tonight the greatest hockey player alive starts his quest for another Stanley Cup. The greatest defenseman aliveby fardoes the same. The greatest coach alive will lead them. The greatest fan alive will follow them. If you do not enjoy hockey posts you might consider muting me for the next nine and a half months"
X Link @jarvis_best 2025-10-07T18:35Z 93K followers, 15.4K engagements